


Jung: The Chronicles of Black Steel and Supergirl.

by Lia_Petros



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Black Steel, Canon Compliant until 5x13, Canon-Typical Violence, Connie Danvers, Earth-Prime (DCU), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Female Kon-El | Conner Kent, Friends to Lovers, Heroic Dinamics, Idiots in Love, Kara Danvers Doesn't Know that Lena Luthor is a Hero, Lena Luthor is a hero, Minor Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Minor Querl Dox/Nia Nal, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Original Hero - Freeform, Post-Season/Series 05, Post-Supergirl Season 5, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, SuperCorp, Superwoman - Freeform, frenemies to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 59,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23041927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Petros/pseuds/Lia_Petros
Summary: It was a Thursday when Kara let go completely of Lena Luthor.The woman stood tall by her brother with a proud painted dark red smile. Her former best friend looked like a ghoulish vampire that had finally figured out how to survive the sunlight. She looked painfully beautiful wearing an expensive looking black overcoat, and her expressive emerald eyes hidden under a pair of sunglasses.—Or so Kara had thought. Their lives are somehow still connected. Some would dare to sayentangled, even. But with a newcomer vigilante in the city, Kara thinks it is time to move on and fill the Lena-shaped void in her life and heart because they make her feel the same way her former friend made her feel — they make her feel like herself. In the meantime, she and her friends have new threats to deal with.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 237
Kudos: 228





	1. Thursday.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone out there that have watched _To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You_ and thought the word jung fitted Kara's and Lena's present relationship? No, just me? Okay. Also, I have no idea where I'm going with this story.

It was a Thursday when they defeated Leviathan. 

All Hell broke loose because Lex had been working closely with them; he had chosen to be smarter and instead of being manipulated by the ancient organization, he decided to work with them. Fighting to dismantle a criminal organization as old as time itself wasn’t easy. 

Lives were lost. Innocent people died across Earth. Leviathan was known to take care of overpopulation; therefore they didn’t plan something small.

Heroes from other cities, states and countries had to go to National City to assist Supergirl and her friends. Alex almost died fighting alongside her sister and their friends.

On that same Thursday, Kara let go completely of Lena Luthor. 

The woman stood tall by her brother with a proud painted dark red smile. Her former best friend looked like a ghoulish vampire that had finally figured out how to survive the sunlight. She looked painfully beautiful wearing an expensive looking black overcoat, and her expressive emerald eyes hidden under a pair of sunglasses.

And that smile.

Lena knowing smile made Kara’s heart ache. 

It was Thursday when Lex Luthor died. Murdered by an energy blast coming from an unknown hero’s hand. Their suit reminded Iron Man’s but all black and far more elegant and fitting.

Seconds after that, she watched Lena appeared and leaned towards her brother’s dead body; the Kryptonian hero thought she overheard the woman saying ‘Finally’ before leaving the scene. Kara didn’t have the chance to talk to Lena. She didn’t even have the chance to ask Lena _why_.

That Thursday was also the day they would know the near future was changing fast.

Brainy fell on the remains of a bloody, rough fight, his nose bleeding non-stopping while he screamed in pain. His brain was overdriving with the changes. He had to be taken to the Waverider, the only place with the appropriate tech to help him.

He was put on a coma.

Night fell making that Thursday the second longest day Kara had ever have since the Crisis and as she watched a broadcast of Lena announcing she would rebrand Luthorcorp and made sure every single people in National City would get help for her brother’s crimes, the blonde finally let her friend go.

They were now strangers to each other. Merely acquaintances.

It was Thursday when Kara Danvers’ heart shattered to pieces.


	2. The Coming Back of Samantha Arias.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara was surprised when reached Lena’s floor and entered the woman’s office only to see Samantha Arias sitting on the chair that belonged to Kara’s former best friend. Suddenly, the blonde felt betrayed and hurt because Lena wasn’t there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got excited and wrote a second chapter because maybe I'm trying to do something different here? I don't know. All mistakes are mine because English is not my native language.

Mourning has become an emotion Kara got used to feeling. Being used to grieving didn’t make the process easier. However, she was more in mourning for Brainy, that was alive although sick than for William who has died.

William was kind but also kind of stupid. He didn’t have to _be_ at the center of the fight, even though Kara knew the man wanted to avenge his dead friend.

He ended up dying in Andrea Rojas’ arms, of all people that had shown up to help. She revealed herself as Acrata, explaining as quick as she could how she had gained her powers and why she wanted to join them.

“Sara, hey. Any changes in Brainy’s state?” She asked over the phone.

_“No, Kara. I’m sorry. We still don’t know what’s happening to him, how and why the changes in the near future are affecting him.”_

She sighed and thanked her friend. The Waverider crew has been amazing to Kara and the Superfriends; Nia has been on board the ship more times than Kara by now, worried sick about Brainy’s condition.

Lacking the will to go to work, she entered the building going straight to the elevator. Everyone at CatCo was grieving over William, and she should, too. They tried dating but it didn’t work out. He was a good guy, yes, but Kara was trying to fill a void in her heart with a very specific shape.

Even as friends they didn’t really match.

Once she reached the CatCo floor, she was welcomed by a hasted and quite nervous Andrea. “You, L-Corp, now,” her words were exasperated.

Kara looked a lot like a deer caught in headlights. She adjusted her glasses and fidgeted with her purse handle.

“Uh, I, hm, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Andrea--” The woman interrupted her.

“Well, I don’t care about that being a good idea or not, Kara. You are late and since no one wanted to do a piece on Lena Luthor after her brother’s criminal doings surfaced, you’re up.”

It pained Kara to see Lena’s reputation crumbled down _again_ due to her family doings, _again_ , as if they never made to a new Earth where the woman could start anew. No, they were no longer friends, but Kara wouldn’t deny that sometimes she despised every single living being in National City for being so ungrateful regarding Lena.

She rolled her eyes, sighing. “Okay. What am I supposed to write?”

“Actually, I scheduled an interview with her. You have about twenty minutes to get there.”

Oh, _crap_.

Kara swallowed hard.

“Right, I’m going there. Now,” and she almost bumped in an intern as she started to make her way back to the elevator.

Near to the elevator, she looked over the shoulders seeing Andrea wasn’t there anymore and went to the bathroom. From there, she flew to the nearest alley to L-Corp.

Kara was surprised when reached Lena’s floor and entered the woman’s office only to see Samantha Arias sitting on the chair that belonged to Kara’s former best friend. Suddenly, the blonde felt betrayed and hurt because Lena wasn’t there.

“Kara!” Sam not only seemed happy to see her but also surprised. “What are you doing here? Not that, not that I’m not happy to see you, it’s just, I _just_ got here.”

The woman didn’t know what to feel.

Actually, she knew what to feel — and what she was currently feeling.

She was utterly disappointed about not meeting Lena there.

“Oh, I, I’m here to interview Lena?”

Kara’s unsure tone made Sam slightly frowned.

“You’re here to interview her or to interview the L-Corp CEO?”

She gulped. When did these two traits become mutually exclusive?

“I’m not sure if I follow, Sam.”

The way the brunette’s face softened caused havoc inside Kara’s stomach. Whatever Sam was about to say, the blonde didn’t want to listen because she knew Sam’s words would cause her pain.

“Lena resigned this morning. She’s no longer L-Corp CEO. I am.”

Kara gaped and all of sudden everything felt lighter. She couldn’t feel the ground beneath her feet or the notepad she was holding in her hands. The blonde made effort to keeping hearing Sam as the older woman hasn’t stopped speaking only because Kara had lost focus because of the news.

“She still works here but only as a scientist.”

The blonde cleared her throat. “Did she, did she tell you why she decided to resign?”

“Not really. I’m sorry, Kara. I, I didn’t know you two weren’t in speaking terms. I thought she had told you.”

She forced a smile. “It’s okay, Sam. It’s not your fault. I, uh, I have to go? Yes, I, I need to know what my boss actually wants from me.” She almost bumped on the chair on her side of the table as she was leaving the office.

The office that no longer belonged to Lena.

Before leaving, she looked where the white couch should be — it wasn’t there anymore. Kara looked at Sam over her shoulders with a questioning look.

“Oh, yes. She took the couch with her. I don’t know why.” Arias laughed lightly making Kara smiled. She didn’t smile because of Sam’s reaction but because she had an inkling of _why_ Lena decided to take the couch with her after resigning.

“Bye, Sam,” she said before finally leaving.

Calling Andrea to know what to do now took more time than Kara had anticipated and that was her fault. The blonde was torn between calling her boss and calling Lena. She wanted to hear from the woman why she had quitted being the L-Corp CEO, especially after making the effort of rebranding it.

It didn’t make sense. Something was missing but what?

And according to Rojas, she still had to interview Lena since not being the L-Corp CEO had nothing to do with Kara’s task.

Now she had to find Lena somewhere in the endless floors of the L-Corp building.

—

“She was here.”

It was annoying how the woman could get engrossed by what she was doing because her focus would deafen her. This time she had her earphones on which was even more annoying.

The raven-haired woman was welding a piece that resembled a hand. The only pieces of personal protection equipment she was wearing were the goggles and the respirators. Sam rolled her eyes by the sight. She has talked to Lena so many times about the importance of wearing the complete personal protection equipment but of course the younger woman hasn’t listened.

She went directly to the welding machine, turning it off.

“What the-- oh, hi, Sam,” Lena took off one of the earphones of her ear. “How long you were here?”

The brunette ignored the question going straight to what mattered.

“Kara was here looking for you.”

“I know that,” she said pointing at the small TV she had there with the welding torch. Her voice sounding muffled because the respirator she hasn’t taken off.

Yes, Lena’s former office had cameras — for security — and now she would take a look at what was happening in the office even though she has really resigned as L-Corp CEO.

“Right, _that_.”

Sam didn’t like the idea of being watched. Lena was the only one with access to these cameras, but Arias still felt extremely uncomfortable. Yes, she understood it was for her protection, but she didn’t have to like it, and she didn’t.

“You could’ve told me you and Kara aren’t speaking to each other.”

“I didn’t see the relevance.”

She hated ‘short answers Lena’ more than she hated ‘I don’t wear safety lab clothes Lena’.

“Okay, then. Don’t forget to pick up Ruby at school for me.”

Her friend finally looked at her and took off the respirator, showing an earnest smile. “Never.”

Sam would be lying if she said she wasn’t worried for Lena who made so many uncharacteristic choices since Lex’s death because sometimes she would worry more for Lena than for Ruby. But then, in moments like this, her friend would show her she still was a good human being.

Lena still was a good human being with little to none self-preservation sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leaving feedback is nice!


	3. Changes in the Near Future.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The young woman looked fine and healthier than ever like she was finally getting enough hours of sleep or eating at the right times of the day. For some reason, it hurt Kara to see how well Lena was doing without her; for a splitting second, she forgot that maybe the woman was doing fine because she didn’t need to worry about her brother anymore or because she wasn’t CEO to one of the biggest and most important companies of the country.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I'm not putting aside my series. I just need to get this out of my head. There will be mistakes since English is my second language.

Two weeks.

It has taken Kara two weeks to find Lena. In a gym downtown National City.

She felt she was setting a trap for her former friend since the Luthor didn’t know the blonde would pass by there. However, there she was watching from afar the raven-haired woman working out in a rowing machine.

Saying it was odd to see Lena working out was an understatement. The hero knew (or so she thought she knew) the young woman wasn’t exactly a fan of exercising. They went on a spinning class together because Lena wanted to see what was like and didn’t want to go alone.

But Lena seemed to be in her element, working out quietly. Her body glistening with sweat, her black slick hair tied in a loose ponytail, some hair locks glued to her forehead. Kara never told one day she would see her friend like this.

Especially at this time of the day.

If Lena Luthor decided to go to a gym, it would be one that stayed open 24 hours.

After staring for some minutes, feeling strangely hot by the sight of Lena, the blonde finally approached her clearing her throat.

She had no idea what to say, and her brain decided it was the perfect time to show she could be stupid.

“What are you doing?”

Lena didn’t stop because of Kara. In truth, she didn’t seem fazed at all.

“Occupational therapy.”

Her voice sounded sharp and painfully ironic, and Kara let a laugh out of nervousness. The blonde fidgeted with her glasses.

“Right. I, I have to interview you, for, for CatCo,” she was anxious. That was the first time they were talking after Leviathan was defeated.

Lena finally looked at Kara, and she looked-- fine.

The young woman looked fine and healthier than ever like she was finally getting enough hours of sleep or eating at the right times of the day. For some reason, it hurt Kara to see how well Lena was doing without her; for a splitting second, she forgot that maybe the woman was doing fine because she didn’t need to worry about her brother anymore or because she wasn’t CEO to one of the biggest and most important companies of the country.

“No, you don’t.” Her puffed voice made Kara shuddered.

“I, I do. Andrea has assigned me with this interview two--”

“I know, _miss Danvers_ ,” Kara’s heart shattered again, and her stomach dropped, “but I’ve talked to her and after almost three hours, she decided to cancel it.”

“Wha-what? No, she, she would’ve let me know,” she grabbed her phone as she spoke.

“She told me about this interview, and I said I wasn’t ready. Three hours later she let me out of the hook.”

Kara saw three missed calls from her boss and one unread text that started with ‘Forget the interview. Come back to CatCo to…’

The blonde gulped, blushing hard. She hasn’t heard her phone ringed as she flew to the nearest empty place to this gym.

A small ‘oh’ left her lips. “Sorry. Still, we have to talk, Le--”

The woman finally stopped exercising and grabbed a towel.

“No, we don’t.”

Kara gulped and started toying with the fabric of her pastel pink overcoat.

“Look, I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Yet, you’ve said it.”

There was a growing despair in her chest burning everything it touched. Kara thought her heart could stop working because of the way it burned painfully.

“I meant that you should be held accountable for your choices and--”

“And you classified me as a villain along with my brother.” Lena’s voice was humorless. “Am I supposed to believe that you have only started to see me as a bad person at that moment or a little before? You’ve always made me feel like I had to prove myself.”

“What? No! No, I’ve always believed in you. Lena, how can you say--”

“Not _you_. You.” Her arched brow was enough for Kara to understand what Lena meant. “You’re seeing your side of things and I’m seeing mine. We won’t move past this until you stop apologizing and start to see what I’ve been through.”

The woman adjusted herself on the machine again readying herself for another series of exercises.

“And I should do the same but I for once know I’m not ready yet.” And she resumed exercising ignoring Kara completely.

The hero was left dumbfounded. Was it really true? Was she more concerned about being forgiven than seeing things through Lena’s eyes? She didn’t know what to make of this conversation. Kara wanted to press further the subject, but apparently, she had more pressing business.

_“Supergirl, do you hear?_ Acrata _wants to meet with you. She said she has news on Obsidian.”_

Kara left without saying goodbye because she knew Lena wouldn’t have answered her.

—

Using the portal device made by the S.T.A.R. Labs team, Kara appeared on the Waverider suited up. As soon as she left her side of the portal, Acrata, Sara, Frost, and Alex welcomed her.

“Hey, guys. Acrata, what’s so urgent?”

It’s the weirdest thing to word side by side with her boss especially when Andrea had no idea Kara and Supergirl were the same person.

“Thank you for coming, Supergirl. Remember when I said I’d be looking further to know why Leviathan wasn’t able to reach more people at National City through the Obsidian lenses?” She nodded. “Well, I finally discovered the reason behind it.”

Across the world, people were hurting themselves or others out of fear or out of rage. Leviathan has used the Obsidian lenses evolutionary technology to make people kill each other. It was ugly to see.

In National City, however, some people didn’t bend to the organization’s will. The heroes didn’t have the time to see a pattern then, and Andrea has promised to look into it as soon as things calmed down.

“And? Come on, tell us,” said a very annoyed Ava Sharpe.

“Someone had tampered the code. Well, not tampered, but changed the code in a way no one, not even Leviathan could override.”

Kara eyed Alex, both sisters trying to guess who could do such a thing.

“Do you have any idea of who could’ve done that?” Alex asked walking to Kara to stand by her sister’s side. It was like she could sense her sister’s anxiety.

“No, but I was able to see the changes in the code. I can’t trace who changed the code, but whoever did it, did it to protect families and places with children, elderly and all sorts of sick people.”

Her anxiety spiked.

“How can you possibly know that?” Frost's slightly twisted voice almost scared Kara.

“Because the code had only one command besides being activated in the lenses of people close to these populations.”

Kara shallowed thickly. “What, what was the command?”

“Do no harm.”

She immediately reached for Alex’s hand who quietly said their friend’s name. The blonde nodded.

“I, I need to talk to her, Alex, I--”

Before she could leave the ship, Nia appeared breathless. “You guys need to see this. I-- Brainy, he’s--” and she went back to the ship’s medical wing.

They all followed her.

—

The first the suit appeared she was controlling it remotely. Lena _had_ to be seen standing by her brother’s side while he caused havoc. No one could even flirt with the idea of Lena Luthor being inside the black suit.

Yes, she has tested it countless times before. Yes, she supposedly knew how to command it and flight it.

No, she didn’t think she was ready to wear the suit so soon. But there was an emergency at the East Side of the city and Supergirl was strangely nowhere to be found.

So, yes, she suited up because apparently, Dreamer wasn’t available either.

For Lena’s sake and luck, the flying thrust power was stabled but as she hated flying, the woman nearly passed out once she reached fifteen feet from the ground.

_“Welcome, miss Luthor. Where are we heading to?”_

The robotic voice of her newest A.I. finally ringed in her ears.

“Hello, El. It’s nice to finally hear your voice,” she said excitedly. It has been weeks, months, developing this A.I., so Lena was happy to hear its voice. “Coordinate flight to Hanson Street with Rosa Parks Avenue, please.”

_“There’s been a robbery close by, miss Luthor.”_

“And that’s precisely why I’m going there.”

_“Understood. Allocating power to boots to speed flight. Suspects are advancing and seem to be going to Harbor Boulevard.”_

“Take me there.”

As her speed flying increased, her anxiety spiked. Not only because she was flying but also because she was closer to a crime scene.

_“Suspects identified,”_ El warned her.

The landing was better than expected although she almost slipped and fell. Nobody who was around seemed to notice, though.

Especially a little boy who excitedly pointed at her saying. “Look, mon! Iron Man is real!!”

All the excitement she had vanished almost immediately. Of course, they would think that. But Lena didn’t have time to correct the kid.

From the suit’s forearm came out something who resembled a lot a gun but instead of bullets, what came out of its hole was a grappling hook that wrapped one of the thug’s legs. She pushed hard making the man fall easily to the ground as he didn’t expect being stopped.

“I don’t think that’s him, Gus, dear. Maybe Batman is back? The suit is black.”

‘ _Oh, for Christ sake’_ , she thought as she flew a few feet above the ground taking thug number one with her.

“But there’s no bat in his chest, mom!”

Lena took the bag the man was holding on from him. “That does not belong to you, sir.” She was proud of her choice of words and how her voice sounded serious and heroic. Yes, her voice sounded robotic and deeper, but that didn’t make her heroic. It was her stance, her attitudes.

Then the suited woman lowered herself and the thug number one. As police sirens became louder, she punched the man before shooting a small and not hurtful blast of energy beam to prevent thug number two to escape.

He yelped undignifiedly.

“You, where are you going?” Feeling daring, she hovered quickly towards the second thug and grabbed his bag against his will. “Not nice.”

Thug number two gulped. “What, what are you going to do to me, man? Are you going to kill me too?”

Jesus, maybe she should adjust her voice modulator.

And, also, _too_?

Lena hasn’t killed his partner, only sucker-punched him. She only killed Lex.

“No.”

Then she kneeled him behind his knee making him lose his footing and falling.

—

Brainy’s current state has worsened.

He was convulsing at his medical chair and even Gideon didn’t know what exactly was happening inside his head.

It pained Kara seeing her dear friend in such a state, especially when there was nothing she could do to help him get better.

She was about to call Nia to a private place for them to talk about Brainy’s state when he said something.

“Steel.”

They looked at each other puzzled.

“She’s here.” He continued. His eyelids moved violently indicating heavy brain function. “Woman… of… Steel.”

All eyes turned to Kara, and she shrugged. “What?!”

“Aren’t you the _Girl_ of Steel?” Frost asked mockingly. The blonde hero rolled her eyes. Frost was a hard to like hero, but Caitlin was nice, so Kara tolerated the woman’s counterpart.

“So what, I should know what he’s talking about?” She retorted defensively.

—

She watched the police force arrested the men.

_“You did well for a first-time hero, miss Luthor.”_

Lena smiled softly at that. Luckily no one would see her smiling. She felt proud of herself for not screwing everything up in her attempt to helping people.

“Thank you, El.” She answered quietly.

Suddenly, she felt someone _knocking_ on her suit as if it was a door. The woman looked down only to see the same kid that has assumed she was Iron Man.

“Hi!” He waved at her. “Are you Iron Man?”

Before she turned on the speakers again, she asked El to adjust her voice modulator just a little.

“Hello.” She waved back and kneeled slowly to be at his height. “No, that’s Marvel’s and Disney’s trademarked, little sir.” ‘ _Little sir? Yikes._ ’

“What, what is a trademark?”

Lena chuckled once she realized she was talking to a kid no older than five years.

“It doesn’t matter, I guess.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “Who are you then?”

That was a good question she hasn’t thought of when crafting and developing the suit. The young Luthor didn’t intend to use it only to kill Lex, no. But she never thought someone would actually stop her and ask that.

She took her time thinking in a moniker that could have a nice ring. Nothing Iron-related, of course; she didn’t want Marvel nor Disney suing her for trademark and copyright infringement.

After choosing a name, she answered.

—

“Black Steel!”

Brainy opened his eyes after saying this and sat as soon as he fully woke up. He pulled the air to his lungs hard enough to wheeze.

“She’s here!” He insisted.

They all looked confused.

“He-- he wakes up, just like that?” Ava asked torn between being puzzled and irritated. Kara sensed the woman felt the time of the ship’s crew were wasted worrying about him.

“Brainy…” Nia said gently, “who is Black Steel?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this is going which is really fun! Also, I love everyone is on the same Earth.


	4. A Super and A Not-Luthor.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Isn’t that rich, Alex? After years of misleading me, of tricking me into believing you were all my friends, of using James to spy on me, you are ready to apologize, and little me is being an asshole about it.”
> 
> Alex swallowed hard and as she was unable to respond Lena, she merely watched the woman leave the gym.
> 
> She now understood Kara. Speaking to Lena was a minefield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena in boxing attire: *exists*
> 
> Alex: *sends video to Kara*

Alex was extremely annoyed by Brainy’s lack of answers.

Actually, scratch that — she was annoyed by his vague answers. Her friend was doing better after a few hours so why wasn’t he telling them what they wanted to know?

“Think of this,” his voice sounded solemn, “there were almost infinite possibilities of changes in the near future that would’ve affected my present in the thirty-one century. Once one of the possibilities became more concrete, my brain stopped updating me with the possible changes.”

“That makes sense.”

Ava Sharpe was some sort of boss of a time travel agency, it was only natural she would be the first to understand what happened to Brainy. For Alex, all this Doctor Who crap made her head hurt badly.

She needed a beer, right now. But she wasn’t going to ask for one bottle of it.

Instead, she stared at her friend. “And how these changes related to this Black Steel?”

His demeanor changed. “That I cannot tell you. Yet, at least.”

Brainy insisted he couldn’t share anything about whoever Black Steel was or if they were the Woman of Steel he mentioned before waking up from his coma.

_“Miss Lance, there is something your friends from National City should see.”_ The red-haired woman startled at hearing the voice of the ship’s A.I.

“What is it, Gideon?”

They had left the medical wing hours ago and now they were trying to get any information from Brainy in the ship’s main wing — the one close to the Waverider’s library.

Out of nowhere, footages from a robbery that happened while she, her sister and Nia were there appeared out of thin air being projected by Gideon’s systems.

“Isn’t that… person… the same that killed Lex in front of Lena?” Andrea asked; for a moment the former DEO Director forgot the woman was also there, wearing her Acrata suit.

As if it was reading people’s minds, Gideon projected footages of the battle against Leviathan.

“Yup. It’s them.” Frost agreed. “So… they are Black Steel?” The morally ambiguous Elsa looked at Brainy who remained quiet.

“Oh, come on, Brainy, you have to at least give us _one_ information!” She complained. Alex liked Brainy; more than she could ever expect she would like him but sometimes he was too annoying for her to keep her cool.

“Alright. Yes. They are Black Steel.” He said thoughtfully. 

—

“Look at that, you’re the hottest news of National City right now.”

The arched brow meant that Lena noticed the teasing tone in Sam’s voice. She was trying to get a better reaction than a simple brow raising.

She sighed. Sometimes even Arias couldn’t deal with Lena’s mannerisms.

“You’re still up for this Friday?”

No reaction. The raven-haired woman twitched something in her suit with her screwdriver, then finally put her tool aside to look at the brunette.

“Yes. You have that… _thing_ … with the Danvers, and Ruby needs a chaperone for the homecoming dance.”

A few days ago Kara had come back to her office to invite Sam to a game night. She knew the blonde was expecting to see Lena going along with her which won’t be happening. It’s sad, and she wished her friend could share what happened between the two of them.

“Lena, are you sure--”

She was interrupted.

“I’ve made a friend today.” It’s blunt and all of sudden. “Luke from Lab Safety.”

Sam stared intensely at Lena furrowing her brows.

“Very nice man. Loud talker but altogether nice and polite.”

“What did you do to make Luke lose his temper?”

Lena shrugged.

“Lena.” She pressed.

“I forgot my lab goggles in my locker. I didn’t think it was a big deal since I’m working in something that doesn’t really require goggles, so I didn’t go back to fetch it.”

Sam took a deep breath. The woman felt she had not one but two teenage daughters because sure Lena could act like one reckless teenager some (most of the) times.

“He was nice.” She shrugged. “I mean, he wasn’t afraid of me for being a Luthor or the former company CEO. He treated me like I was a stupid employee who wasn’t complying with the lab safety rules. It felt nice.”

“Jesus, Lena.”

It wasn’t a reprimand. There were moments like this one when Lena would do or say something that would throw off Sam completely.

Sometimes she would forget that her dear friend had never known what normal treatment felt like. The Luthor was always, well, a Luthor, heiress of an empire or, currently, the sister of a maniac man capable of killing his own mother cold-blooded.

Arias couldn’t judge Lena for secretly ending Lex’s life.

He deserved.

—

Annoyed.

She was still very much annoyed.

The days went by slowly, and all Alex was hearing was Kara complaining about how Black Steel was in the right place at the right time when she was at work unable to escape quickly enough to get to the scene before this Iron Man cosplayer.

Alex was also annoyed and worried sick because not only she was unemployed, but Kelly has also lost her job at Obsidian North.

Andrea Rojas has announced she would shut down Obsidian North until further notice. The woman clearly has lost revenue because of Leviathan doings and she was trying her best at lessening the damage control.

Kelly wasn’t one of the blessed people that found a job at other companies like L-Corp or some subsidiaries of Palmer Technologies and such.

Another development causing her annoyance to spike up was Lena’s lack of presence in the places the red-haired woman knew the young one could be. They needed to talk after all.

The mere idea that the Luthor actually helped them without their knowledge made Alex feel guilt; maybe Kara was right all this time for believing Lena would do the right thing. Therefore, she needed to apologize to Lena.

She parked her motorcycle in front of a gym she has never been before doubting the Luthor would be here like Kara has said. Feeling out of place, Alex went in. It took some time, but she finally found the woman training boxing.

Well, more like punching a punching bag.

It was the kind of sight Alex never thought she would see in her life. Lena Luthor wearing boxing shoes, black short leggings, a matching sports bra, and fingerless boxing gloves. Instead of walking to the woman, she first made a short video and sent it to her sister.

She thought Kara would like to see their former friend finally learning how to defend herself, although the lack of Lex and Lillian Luthor in Lena’s life made the initiative somehow pointless.

“Hey, what are you doing over there?” She tried to sound nonchalant and casual.

Lena’s strong high kick on the punching bag like it had offended her made Alex winced.

“What do you _think_ I’m doing, Danvers?” She winced again once Lena’s cold and annoyed voice reached her ears. Hearing Lena calling her Danvers and not Alex was hurtful.

“I--”

“Occupational therapy.” The other said before the red-haired woman could say anything. Lena stopped beating the poor bag. “What do you want?”

“To talk.”

Luthor arched her brow questioningly. “Did Kara send you?”

“No, but she knows I’m here.”

As a response, Lena let out a dry laugh. 

“Of course, she knows. She was the one who told you where to find me.”

“Yes. I mean, you’re not at work neither at your penthouse anymore.”

Lena shrugged. “It’s not like I owe you people anything, especially now.” She started taking the gloves off.

“Why didn’t you told us you were actually reprogramming Obsidian Platinum?”

The young woman finally looked at her. Alex would like to say she knew Lena well enough to read her expressions, but that person used to be Kara. The old Danvers never allowed herself to know Lena like Kara used to.

“What are you talking about?”

Lena’s voice sounded so empty of emotions that even Alex could tell she was lying.

“Andrea told us she discovered someone made some changes in the Obsidian Platinum program and code. A change that prevented Leviathan bloodshed from getting worse.”

“Really? Good news then.” Alex snorted at how cynical Lena was being.

“The code had a command that not even Leviathan could override. Do not harm.”

The way Lena lifted her chin said enough for Alex who smiles softly.

“Familiar, uh?”

“I have literally no idea of what you’re talking about, Danvers. As I recall, I was trying to mind control humanity using Myriad.”

Alex wanted to punch Lena so hard right now but there was a chance of that to backfire now that Lena was training.

As the woman began to leave, Alex said, “You know, you’re being an asshole. We’re trying to apologize to you, and here you are, being too prideful.”

She regretted her words almost immediately as soon as Lena turned to look at her. There was fire within the young woman’s eyes burning with so much anger that Alex thought she would be sucker-punched right here, right now.

“Isn’t that rich, Alex? After years of misleading me, of tricking me into believing you were all my friends, of using James to spy on me, you are ready to apologize, and little me is being an asshole about it.”

Alex swallowed hard and as she was unable to respond Lena, she merely watched the woman leave the gym.

She now understood Kara. Speaking to Lena was a minefield.

—

Kara halted herself mid-flight when something flew right beside her, advancing fast as it flew smoothly through the clouds.

“Oh, no. Not on my watch.” She super-sped her flight controlling herself to not break the sound barrier over a competition that only existed in her head.

_“What happened?”_ J’onn’s voice sounded through the comms.

“Black Steel. I’m not going to let them take me out of business.” 

Kara gained more speed soon reaching her suited opponent who looked at. One more thing to add to the ‘Why this Black Steel hero person was annoying’ — Kara couldn’t see their face. It reminded her of the time James became Guardian and had a lead-lined helmet.

Freaking annoying.

Black Steel annoyed her even so because their whole suit was lined with lead.

So when they looked at her, she only knew because their helmet with thin rectangular shiny eyes was turned in her direction.

“You can go now.”

It was more of a threat than a warning, that was obviously dismissed the moment they dived in.

“Really, you should go. It’s dangerous and your suit might not--”

The suited hero stopped and looked at the burning building. “The building is about to collapse.” Oh, so they can talk? Also, they sounded like woman, but Kara wouldn’t assume anything.

She x-rayed the building. “There are people inside on different floors. I will res--”

“No, Supergirl. You hold the building and I rescue the people. You have the strength to do that, and I don’t.” As soon as they explained their point of view, they entered the building.

Kara rolled her eyes but did as told to.

While the new hero was inside finding the people they needed to save, Kara was trying to salvage the building as she could, but the fire was all too consuming; the clock was ticking.

“J’onn, I can’t hold much longer and there are at least three people in the building. Black Steel is rescuing them, but the building is going to collapse before. I need a hand.”

_“Copy. I’m on my way.”_

“Be fast.”

But he wasn’t. Black Steel went back despite Kara protests for them not to go. According to them, there were some pets left behind and they were going back to rescue them.

The building collapsed before the suited hero could get out and since their suit was lead-lined, Kara couldn’t hear their heart beating. 

“J’onn, can you search for their mind in the debris?”

Kara asked while taking all the burnt building remains from her way. She didn’t like the new hero but that didn’t mean she wanted them dead.

She should’ve known something was off when the Martian whined in pain. “I, I can’t. They have some mind blocker.”

_‘Of course, they have,’_ she thought, annoyed.

It was another reason to distrust them. That and the fact they killed someone without showing any regret. They didn’t even look at Lena before or after killing Lex.

However, the blonde wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if she didn’t help them in any capacity. Curious people gathered near the debris wanting to see Supergirl finding the newest National City hero.

After what felt long minutes of search, she saw the suit. Kara removed more remains and finally got a look at Black Steel.

Their suit was dirty and scratched; they had fallen with their stomach down as if they were holding a wall or a room’s ceiling when the building caved in. Kara cautiously approached them and as soon as she was close to their head, she tried to take off their helmet.

‘Tried’ being the key verb because as soon as she touched the suit’s helmet, Kara was mercilessly electrocuted letting out an undignified yelp of pain shaking her hands because of the pain.

“What the _heek_?!” And she looked at J’onn who shrugged looking as confused and lost as her.

Before she could try again and take out the helmet while fighting the pain, the whole suit light up; the known sound of a computer turning on made its way to Kara’s ears. Unsteadily so, Black Steel got up.

Supergirl helped them as she could but they seemed more preoccupied with something else. Something they almost died for while shielding it from the collapsing building.

Kara heard quiet meowing and barking coming from under a basket; she watched curiously as Black Steel cautiously and gently raised the basket and slowly got two kittens off the ground. The blonde also heard the hero coughing.

They looked at the kitten tagged collar and then stared at the people they have saved who were being assisted in an ambulance. “Jenkins? To whom Jenkins belong to?” They asked before coughing again.

“You shouldn’t have lined your suit with lead. I could take a look at your lungs and ribs.” Supergirl said softly taking the kitten in her hand to hand over to its owners. 

“What’s the fun in that?” They replied playfully and then whimpered in pain. “Duchess?”

Another kitten was handed over to its owners.

Black Steel got the dog. He was old despite being small, and he was shaking.

“Hello, canine little sir.”

Eventually, Kara would hate herself for smiling but right now she didn’t care. It was obvious the new hero was in pain, but they still had enough of a good heart to ease the fear and anxiety of a senile dog in the softest and goofiest way possible.

Maybe Black Steel wasn’t a cold blood murder who couldn’t feel regret for taking a life.

“Rufus? Who’s tutoring Rufus?”

Then they went to other people to explain how they weren’t able to protect the fishes some people had.

Kara watched from afar.

“They… they are not that bad, are they?” She asked J’onn who was watching alongside Kara Black Steel talking they have freed the birds and such.

“Maybe not, but I do find concerning the fact they block their mind from me.”

The Girl of Steel looked at J’onn puzzled.

“What do you mean by from you? Like their blockage was made specifically to avoid you?”

“Yes. Whoever is beneath the suit, they don’t want any of us finding out their identity.”

Kara bit her lower lip nervously. Dread embraced her strongly and it was difficult to fake a smile when Black Steel made their way towards J’onn and her.

“We did well back there, right?”

She simply nodded, still overcome by anxiety. The blonde still felt something was off about the new hero.

“Who would’ve thought?”

Her stomach dropped and now she was also feeling nauseous. 

“A Super and a--”

Luthor?

Kara wanted badly to hear her former best friend’s name. She wanted so badly to hear Luthor instead of anything else she almost didn’t hear Black Steel’s words at all.

“--vigilante wearing black working together.”

She laughed nervously which meant the blonde was laughing too out loud over a remark that wasn’t even that funny.

“Right,” Kara was still laughing although not loudly. She fingered gun the suited hero, then cleared her throat when the silence became too unbearable for her. “Anyway, how are you feeling?”

“Fine. Well, it was nice working with you,” the hero closed their right fist, and after a few awkward seconds, Kara understood what they were doing and fist-bumped them, “but I need to go.”

They took flight before Kara could ask them about preferred pronouns (something Nia taught her) or where she could find them or how she and her friends could contact them. Yes, she could out-flying Black Steel, but she thought it was better not.

She decided to give them space. Also, she had a feeling they two would’ve ended up meeting eventually.

And, yes, it felt nice saving people alongside someone new.

Kara could use a new dynamic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, they interact. Kind of.
> 
> It's being a challenge for me to leave details out of the picture, but I'm challenging myself to write short chapters. I wanted to add at least one more scene but I know me, that would lead me to add another new scene and suddenly, the chapter would be close to 5k or more.
> 
> Anyway. Thoughts?
> 
> P.S.: I love Alex although sometimes she can be an asshole towards Lena or about Lena.


	5. What Makes Her a Hero.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I never thought a hero would understand me, but you really do, don’t you? The way you spoke… it sounded real, genuine.”
> 
> She simply nodded. Did he just, did he just call her a hero?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Sensitive content warning:** This chapter depicts an attempt of a school shooting along with the use of a derogatory term regarding gay men (one time), besides tackling the issue of bullying and grief. If any of these subjects bother you at any level, please don't read the chapter. And stay well.
> 
> Also, Ruby's outfit was inspired by [Nicole Maines' outfit for the 100th Supergirl Episode Party](https://www.instagram.com/p/B8z4r7WAfn0/) while Lena's outfit was inspired by [Sara Bareilles's _Gonna Get Over You_ video clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUe3oVlxLSA).

Everything hurt. 

At least Lena was alive, and her lungs and ribs were all in one piece. Lucky her. Of course Sam didn’t think Lena was lucky. Her friend thought she was crazy.

_“So that’s how it is going to be? What am I now? The Pepper to your Tony?”_

_Lena scrunched her nose._

_“Ew, no. They were married in the movies. I think you’re more the Happy Hogan to my Tony,” her answer owned her a slap across her left arm._

_“Don’t change the topic, Lena. You_ know _what I’m talking about.”_

_They exchanged look, and Lena shrugged sadly._

_“Yes, I know.”_

_“That’s not what you planned, what_ I _agreed on. You were only supposed to suit up four, five months from now. You were going to train and then you were going back to the field.”_

_She sighed after taking the painkillers._

_“I know and I know I could’ve waited for the police to come but I, I felt the need to do something.”_

_Sam gently and very motherly kissed Lena’s temple before getting up off the bed._

_“Public opinion still doesn’t know what to think of the Lex Luthor’s killer. That why we agreed on wait, remember?”_

_“I know.”_

_The brunette squeezed Lena’s knee before leaving the guest room._

_“Get some rest, okay?”_

She was still reeling, though.

Lena didn’t think she would be capable of interacting with Kara like things never had changed between them, but she did. And now she understood how luring a secret identity could be.

Because the young Luthor missed her best friend. Deep down, she missed Kara Danvers more than she would ever admit to someone but herself. As Black Steel, she had the chance to talk to the blonde like there was never so much bad blood between them.

“Good morning, aunt Lena!”

Ruby said once she has entered Lena’s room. “Good morning, Ruby.”

She winced in pain. Her body asked for more painkillers, but she needed to eat breakfast before.

“What happened to you? Mom asked me to give you painkillers after breakfast and you really look like crap.”

Lena gave up on getting up from her bed, hiding on the sheets. The raven-haired woman also felt like crap, at least physically. She grunted.

“Ah, the crushing honesty of a teenage,” the woman mocked.

“Sorry,” Lena could see over the sheets that Ruby meant that. “Are you up for tonight?”

Luthor only nodded smiling gently. 

“You are in a lot of pain. It’s okay if--”

“Ruby,” she said, capturing the teen’s attention. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

The girl grinned happily before opened the bedroom’s curtains wide. Lena hissed once the sun rays hit her sensitive eyes.

—

Kara was trying her best to not get hopeful. Andrea has assigned her to interview Sam as the newest L-Corp CEO. The blonde wished so bad to see Lena there but since her former friend was a simple scientist now, the woman didn’t know how that would be possible.

However, the Universe seemed to like the hero enough to make her get a glimpse of Lena Luthor arriving on a bike.

(Although the only bike attire the woman was wearing was the helmet. Which made Kara rolled her eyes at that.)

She watched the woman hopped off the bike to buy coffee at the same coffee stand Lena usually got her drink from. Kara took some time gathering courage to go over Lena and speak to her; the blonde almost missed her chance.

“Lena, wait!”

The last thing Kara thought would happen actually happened — Lena waited for her looking as surprised and as confused as anyone else who stopped to look who was the crazy woman talking loudly.

She saw the woman sighed. “Can you not to this right now? I can’t be late for work.”

Kara smiled uneasily. 

“We need to talk, Lena. We, I-- we can-- you can choose a day and we--”

She was interrupted. Kara didn’t exactly dislike being cut off but when it came to Lena not letting her finish one sentence… Kara hated it.

“Your sister came to talk to me.”

“I know. I didn’t ask her to. Alex wanted to--”

Another interruption.

“She called me an asshole.”

The blonde sputtered clearly surprised. Alex didn’t tell her about _that_. Her sister only told her the talk went wrong.

“I didn’t know that.” What could she say? Kara shouldn’t have to apologize for other people’s mistakes. She wanted, though. She wanted to apologize so badly to Lena for vilifying her, but it was a dead-end.

She cleared her throat. “You look good,” and she blushed and looked down, not seeing Lena blushing too. “Healthy. I mean in a healthy way. Are you, are you getting enough sleep?”

But she did hear Lena sighing. Kara could feel her former best friend was tired. Not physically but emotionally.

“Don’t do this. Don’t ask me questions as if you cared.”

Kara wanted to say she did care but she knew Lena was about to say more — and the blonde let her. Why not, they were doomed already.

“Because right now I don’t know if you really do care.”

It should be saddening. Kara should be sad listening to Lena say how she didn’t know if Kara really cared for her. But the Kryptonian didn’t hear those words in a bad way. Lena didn’t say Kara wasn’t being truthful or that the blonde was indeed plain lying.

This time Lena didn’t put the weight only on Kara’s shoulders.

She has said _she_ didn’t believe; _she_ wasn’t completely sure.

For Kara, Lena’s words sounded more like a small breach in a window. Who knows, one day Lena could open a door to let Kara in again.

That’s why the hero didn’t insist nor pursue her friend when Lena entered the building.

—

Ruby looked stunning. She was wearing a shoulderless tight black blouse and a plaid below the knee round skirt. The homecoming dance theme was the 50’s, and the teen was very in with the theme. Her hairdo too was very ‘50s-ish.

It took her hours to be ready while for Lena it took less than two hours.

She was one of the parents — or guardians, whatever — who would look out the teens while they had their fun, meaning that she didn’t have to get dressed for the dance. But she did only because Ruby asked her.

The girl had watched an old Sara Bareilles music video and thought Lena could dress like the singer, so here she is in her glory, leather jacket, and eyeliner, watching the teens dancing to a song that definitely didn’t belong to the ‘50s.

Homecomings are boring, she had forgotten that.

Lena rarely partook in the school’s dance because she knew it would lead her to disappointment. Also, when she had Andrea as a friend, going to these school events was dull. Her former friend knew how to throw a party or where the best parties were happening.

Which’s why Lena was caught completely off guard when a skinny boy appeared the sports court armed with a gun.

It was the sort of thing that would’ve never happened at her school.

Everybody stopped what they were doing. The music faded away quickly.

“Josh, what are you--”

A teacher started speaking only to shut up when the kid shot the ceiling. Scared screams broke out; Lena made her way to Ruby shielding the teen. 

“Stay behind me,” she advised as calmly as she could. For better or for worse Lena was used to this scenario but everybody else wasn’t. And they shouldn’t either.

Slowly she guided Ruby to the stage trying to give her a chance to escape since the stage was hiding the doors that led to the locker rooms. The boy was too distracted saying how he was tired of being mistreated for everyone.

“I’m sick of being played with only for you guys to have a laugh!” She could feel the boy’s pain in his voice. He was more hurt than angry.

It was the last thing she heard before leaving the sports court with Ruby.

“Call your mom,” Lena asked hastily while adjusting her watch on her wrist. “Get inside the showers and stay there until I come back for you.”

“What are you going to do, aunt Lena?” Ruby questioned once the woman handed her leather jacket over the girl.

“Help,” the raven-haired woman stated simply yet determinately. 

“How?”

Lena rolled her eyes. She knew Ruby since the teen was a mildly spoiled eight years old girl. Luthor knew the brunette wouldn’t leave her alone until getting a satisfying answer. So, the woman finished adjusting her watch; smoothly her whole body was covered with a black suit made of steel.

She really loved nanotech.

“Oh my God! You’re them, I mean, her, you are, you are Black Steel.”

Ruby wouldn’t see the smile in Lena’s face but yes, Luthor was smiling beneath the suit.

“It’s our little secret.” The teen nodded enthusiastically. “Stay here. Call your mom.”

She ignored the girl’s inquiries about _why_ calling her mom since Sam would be worried about them. Lena couldn’t answer ‘Because your mommy is at Supergirl’s and she doesn’t even know that’. She simply flew out of the locker room breaking a window.

_“Hello again, miss Luthor. How may I assist you tonight?”_

“There’s a poor kid trying to start a school shooting. I need help to evacuate the place before it hits the news and police shows up.” The woman answered as she circled the school building entering the sports court by the main entrance.

(The young Luthor broke the door by flying through. 

The kid has locked from the inside.)

Once she was in, the boy — Josh as she heard — turned to her and shot. Another outbreak of screams happened.

“Dude, sir!” She complained although she couldn’t see where the bullet hit. Not that it mattered, because the kid would need to shoot her in the same place more than once for a bullet hit _her_. She raised her hands. “Can we, can we talk, dude sir? What’s your name?” she asked him gently.

Her voice modulator didn’t sound robotic, only different enough from the voice of one Lena Luthor.

But that didn’t matter. Not when she didn’t have the boy’s attention.

The opened door offered an escape for everyone and when a girl and a man tried to leave, Lena had to be fast to shield them; the boy shot at them screaming that no one would leave if he didn’t want them to leave.

“Sit there, please,” she asked daughter and father gently while closing the door to avoid another outburst from the boy. “Can we talk now?” 

_“Someone who was walking their dogs nearby heard the shooting sound, miss Luthor. They have called the police.”_

_‘Fuck. They will hunt down this boy,’_ Lena thought while trying to approach the boy.

“I’m Black Steel.”

He scowled at that. “I know who you are. You killed Lex Luthor!”

Will people only remember her for that, really? Maybe Sam was right.

“Yes, I did--”

He cut her off.

“Are you here to kill me too?!” And pointed his gun at her. His question got her off guard.

“What?!” She squeaked. “No! Dude, sir, I also saved two kittens and an old dog from a fire.” Here was her explaining herself to an armed teen who wanted to kill his classmates. “I’m not a bad person, okay?”

“I’m not either! But they,” and he pointed his gun at his classmates, earning gasps and scared whimpers, “they always treated me like shit! I just can’t take anymore, man! They kept mocking me for everything. I was either dumb or a faggot for them!

“And the teachers never said a thing! I had only miss Parker, but she died. Someone wearing those stupid lenses killed the school counselor! And my parents died protecting me and for what?! For the next day, these fuckers make fun of me!”

He was crying. Well, everyone was crying but the boy was crying because he was hurting badly. His broken heart was aching. Lena could relate partially to what he was feeling.

“You want to hurt them like they hurt you. I get it. I actually relate to that,” she admitted. “But to what cost, dude sir? Hurting who has wronged you won’t make you feel better.”

She knew that better than anyone else. Slowly, subtly she began approaching him.

_“Miss Luthor, police enforcement is five minutes away,”_ El warned her.

“That won’t make you heal,” she insisted offering her hand for him to give his gun. “It won’t bring you peace.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Because I’ve been there. I’ve hurt the ones who hurt me, and now I’m a solo vigilante that makes people asking the same question; am I going to kill them like I killed Lex Luthor? No one trusts me, no one feels they should trust me.”

Josh sobbed. His hands were shaking, but Lena didn’t take the gun from him. He needed to give her wittingly. He needed to make the choice instead of being coerced.

“But it hurts, man! It hurts so fucking bad. There’ve been days when I couldn’t breathe.”

“I know. But it won’t get better if you point this gun at someone and shoot them. It will get worse. Do you want that?”

He nodded negatively. 

“They will hate me for this.”

_“Miss Luthor, they are here.”_ Beneath the suit, Lena cursed annoyed by this development.

“They need to be held accountable for mistreating you, for making you believe they changed. But you also need to be held accountable for dealing with your pain like this.”

She watched as the kid looked at his classmates. He held dear to his gun like it was his comfort blanket or such.

“Acts have consequences, Josh.” Hearing his name made him looked at Black Steel again. “And I want to help you to deal with the consequences of your choices.”

Her voice didn’t project when she asked for her A.I. to activate the image inducer. Quickly than before, the suit vanished only to show someone wearing black clothes. Lena looked like the female military version of Zorro, with a black bandanna covering the upper half of her face.

More gasping.

The woman offered her hand again.

“I didn’t make a wise choice, dude sir,” it was odd how these silly titles escaped easily from her lips, “and I regret that every day because I don’t know how to move past that nor if I can move past that. But you have the chance of being smarter than me.

“Be better than me, Josh. Hand me the gun.” Panic crushed Lena when she saw a small red dot looking for the better spot in Josh’s body. She gulped. “Let me help you. Hand me the gun and I’ll save you.”

It felt too late. Things shouldn’t end like that; the kid noticed the red dot in his body looking for the better spot. He understood he was being targeted. Lena wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. He was a kid and he was in pain.

Yes, he should be held accountable for his actions but so do his classmates.

(And yes, the situation was ironic. She knew that as she knew her words of advice could apply to her situation.)

Josh moved fast; he didn’t give Lena the gun, but she soon understood what he was doing. But the sniper couldn’t see clearly the kid unloading his gun. No one but Lena could.

Everyone screamed again. 

“El, suit me up!” She demanded and as soon as she was suited up, the hero embraced the boy and power-boost flew with him through the sports court ceiling.

She could see the sniper from there and flew towards him. “Why couldn’t you just give me the damn gun, dude sir?! You could’ve been killed!” Lena was pissed. Teenagers were so unpredictable.

“I needed to unload it! I couldn’t give it loaded to anyone!”

Luthor rolled her eyes.

The woman landed close to the sniper. “Hello, you. He was unloading the gun. You didn’t need to shoot him.”

“I had strict orders.”

Her blood boiled. “So did everyone wearing the Obsidian lenses.” Lena spat out her words, feeling the need to punch something or someone. Maybe she wanted to punch the sniper, who knows. “Take easy on the kid.”

“He was going to kill someone innocent.”

She rolled her eyes. Why police enforcement people had to be so… annoying?

“So do you but no one would’ve questioned you. He needs counseling or therapy; he doesn’t need to be killed or sent to juvie.”

Lena heard a sigh coming from the man.

“You guys know I’m still here, right?” Josh asked quietly. He was shivering and still crying.

“Yes, dude sir.” The sniper snickered. “What is it, you buffoon?”

“You’re funny, I give you that.” Although no one could see it, Lena arched a brow. “And,” another sigh, “you did good, with him.”

What a day for being caught off guard nonstopped. “He’s right. I needed to hear that.” Lena had to adjust Josh in her arms before he fell; she was letting him slip from her arms for being so off guard.

“I never thought a _hero_ would understand me, but you really do, don’t you? The way you spoke… it sounded real, genuine.”

She simply nodded. Did he just, did he just call her a hero?

Lena cleared her throat.

“I, uh, I need to go. Where do I take you? Where do I take him?”

The sniper answered before Josh. “Home, you take him home wherever that is.”

Another nod. Lena took the kid as fast as she could to his grandfather’s house. She gave him a number before bidding goodbye. After that, she went back to the school to check on Ruby who was still in the locker room.

As Lena Luthor, she had to answer some questions the police made her; how did she and Ruby make out the sports court, why didn’t they run away, how did they break the locker room window. The basics. It took some time, but they were eventually allowed to go home.

—

Sam would’ve known something was wrong.

Her maternal instincts never failed before; feeling unsettled meant that Ruby wasn’t fine, but her daughter hadn’t called. Also, she was with Lena.

Yes, the same Lena who was emotionally unstable right now, but Sam trusted her friend when came to Ruby. The young woman would care for the teen as if Ruby was her own family.

She ignored the uneasiness the was feeling at the bottom of her stomach.

For some hours it was almost too easy to ignore something was off with her daughter who supposedly was having fun at the school’s homecoming dance. The group of Kara’s and Alex’s had grown bigger since the last time she was invited to join them.

There was a lovely young girl, not much younger than Lena, named Nia and she was dating Brainy who was the only person who stayed in the past. Alex was dating James Olsen’s sister, Kelly, who was equally adorable.

And then there was Andrea Rojas who seemingly only Kara knew what was doing there.

It was easy to get distracted. Especially by the smell of whatever Kara was drinking that night.

Sam has never heard of that brand of rum. The only thing she knew for sure it was a smelly beverage.

Answering to Kara’s questioning about how Lena was going has proven to be another nice distraction. The brunette said that no, Lena wasn’t living at her former penthouse anymore and no, she didn’t have the Luthor’s current address because Lena was still unpacking her stuff.

It didn’t take a genius to know Sam was there to update the group — especially Kara — about Lena but she didn’t mind. Her friend and the blonde used to be friends after all.

So did Lena and Andrea according to CatCo owner.

But before Sam could ask more about Luthor’s life as a middle- and high-schooler, Andrea asked Kara to turn on the TV on any news channel. What they saw was awful, yes — an attempt at a school shooting; some kid was doing an Instagram live of the whole thing.

Kara seemed restless; in truth, everyone but Andrea and Sam was exchanging looks.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Andrea said, also showing signs of restlessness. Her left knee was moving nervously.

Sam, however, didn’t notice how everyone wanted to get out (to help Black Steel to deal with the situation) because she wasn’t breathing. Although she was sat on the couch, the woman couldn’t feel anything solid beneath her; couch, ground — nothing.

“Sam?” Someone called for her, maybe Brainy, maybe J’onn.

Out of nowhere, she got up feeling sick. “That’s…” She pointed at the TV. “It’s Ruby’s school.”

Kelly was the first to get up, maybe to hug her, maybe to offer her some sort of emotional support, but she got out to the fire escape stairs. She needed air, she needed to think clearly.

No, Sam couldn’t just go to Ruby’s school. Yes, Lena was there dealing with the situation as Black Steel. Yes, she trusted her friend.

But she was still a mother. A very worried and scared mother.

Overwhelmed by her emotions, she grunted, squeezing the metal of the stair since the woman couldn’t scream, not without having the attention of everyone who was inside Kara’s flat. All she wanted to know was if her baby girl was okay.

She stayed there, eyes shut, iron grip on the metal.

For a moment, the brunette thought she was hearing her daughter’s heartbeat; Sam thought she was going crazy.

Her phone vibrated warning she had a text message. It was from Lena’s saying they were fine and that they were heading home.

Sam was about to get inside to bid everyone goodbye and grab her purse when she saw the state of the stair.

The place she has been squeezing tight was twisted by someone inhumanly strong.

“Not again, no” she whispered before entered the place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always loved the episode where Kara solar flared but she had a Supergirl emergency to attend. It was a moment where she showed how heroic she truly was. No powers, only words. It was a powerful moment. God, I miss the screenwriting from the 1st season.


	6. Next to Normal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can cook, right?”
> 
> Ruby asked her.
> 
> “Why are you assuming that I can’t? Is it because I’m a Luthor?” She joked, earning a laugh from the teen. Yes, Ruby was alright. But she understood Sam’s concerns, too.
> 
> “It’s because you’re rich. Rich people don’t cook. They don’t need to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so much going on in this chapter that I don't even know what to write in the Summary. I love the alliteration of Lena's name but it's clear to me she's basically an Arias.

Lena thought Sam would never leave.

After arriving at the Arias’ home yesterday, she watched the woman hugged her daughter for at least thirty minutes. Today was no different. The older woman was stalling the more she could, but Sam was L-Corp CEO now; she couldn’t miss work.

Luthor, on the other hand, had a handful of overtime hours she needed spending.

(Let’s not forget the four months of paid vacation the company owed her.

But she avoided talking about that with Sam or Lucia, from HR.)

“You’ll go with me, right?”

The woman asked again, and once more the younger one nodded agreeing so.

Yesterday was a day full of emotions and novelties. Not only Black Steel appeared at a homecoming dance to prevent a school shooting but apparently, Sam was somehow still connected to Reign.

Being her little self, Lena hadn’t believed Sam, so the woman proved by twisting a spoon made of metal.

They decided it was better to go to the DEO right away instead of trying to figure out how to prevent Reign of taking over Sam alone. They would go but only at night. Right now, Lena would babysit a fifteen years old girl who seemingly didn’t need a babysitter.

“You can cook, right?”

Ruby asked her.

“Why are you assuming that I can’t? Is it because I’m a Luthor?” She joked, earning a laugh from the teen. Yes, Ruby was alright. But she understood Sam’s concerns, too.

“It’s because you’re rich. Rich people don’t cook. They don’t need to.”

Lena stared at Ruby. The girl was right. Many of the people the raven-haired woman met didn’t know how to boil water.

“You do remember I’m also a scientist, right? I know chemistry.”

She heard a frightened sighing. “Please don't lecture me again on how cooking is chemistry with flavor.”

Lena was the one sighing this time — very disappointed. “Oh, I miss the days you would’ve heard me talking about how fun chemistry could be. You used to love it.” She said oh so dramatically making Ruby snorted.

“Yeah, well, I’ve outgrown that, aunt Lena. Now I want to be a writer.”

Lena scowled at that earned her a soft slap on her left arm.

—

Sam’s Earth-38 house was nice. Too big for only a mother and a daughter to live in but also too modest for a CFO to owe it. Being a CEO certainly came with a few mandatory upgrades, Alex noticed.

“I still can’t believe Lena isn’t L-Corp CEO anymore,” she voiced before ringing the bell. “What she’s doing, working as a scientist at the company she used to owe?”

Kara nodded. “According to Sam, yes.”

“Pathetic,” the red-haired woman voiced scoffing. “At least she had the decency to bring back Sam instead of appointing some strange, random person.”

Her sister sighed loudly visibly annoyed by their conversation topic. Yes, Alex admitted calling Lena an asshole (and she didn’t regret that), yes, she was well aware talking about the Luthor was a sore subject, but she was still pissed with Lena’s attitude.

But before Kara could ask her why she cared about who was the new L-Corp CEO or to stop talking about Lena, the door opened revealing a much taller Ruby.

Alex and Kara exchanged looks.

“Alex! Kara!” The girl hugged them both; first Alex then Kara. “I’ve missed you guys!” She said excitedly.

“Kid, you’ve _grown_!” Alex said still shocked.

“Yeah, I know.” She chuckled, recognizing a bit of hubris in the teen’s voice. “I’m taller than aunt Lena. Give it time, I’ll be taller than you, Kara.”

The blonde snorted loudly.

“Yeah, right, pft. Lucky for you, dreaming is free.”

Ruby let them in. The house was spacious and still lacking homey touch which was understandable given that the Arias have recently come back to National City.

Before Alex could ask how the brunette was after yesterday, something called their attention. Ruby wasn’t alone. Someone else was there… singing. Another exchange of looks between the Danvers sisters before following the teen to the kitchen.

Where Lena Luthor was the person singing while cooking.

Alex raised a brow at the sight.

The young woman was belting a song by Demi Lovato; she surprisingly had a nice voice. Lena seemed to be so engrossed by what she was doing while singing the _‘Cause I'm a black belt when I'm beating up on myself but I'm an expert at giving love to somebody else. I, me, myself and I don't see eye to eye. Me, myself and I_ part of the song. Luthor even punched the air when singing about being a black belt.

It felt wrong watching. But at least the red-haired woman wasn’t the one drooling over how Lena’s body move while dancing.

She looked quizzically at her sister. Why was Kara gawking at Lena like that? It was odd.

“Make a video, Kara at least will last,” Alex mocked although she still found confusing and strange to see how Kara seemed utterly _mesmerized_ by Lena’s display of normalcy.

“Aunt Lena?” Ruby called for the Luthor who removed her airpods from her ears.

The sudden realization that she wasn’t alone while cooking, and singing and dancing made the woman blushed so hard, Alex had to look away to not being caught snickering. But oh, she _saw_ Lena’s pajamas before.

She could understand how alluring the sight could be, especially to Kara. After all, Lena Luthor, the same woman who was so hellbent on hurting Supergirl, was wearing a Supergirl number 1 fan t-shirt and short shorts filled with little House of El emblems. Also, yes, legs and boobs squeezed in clothes that were definitely _not_ Lena’s size.

Alex was a committed woman, but she still had eyes. And so did Kara apparently.

Her sister gulped so loudly; the red-haired woman feared everyone there would hear Kara who adjusted her glasses nervously.

What was happening?

“Nice, uh, nice PJs.” Alex grimaced at how awkward her sister sounded.

“It’s Ruby’s. I would never wear these at my home.” Lena stated plainly resuming to cook before she overcooked the bacon. “I wouldn’t own a Supergirl-themed pajama. I find it very stupid.”

Kara choked and Alex simply rolled her eyes. See, that’s why she has called Lena an asshole.

“It’s not stupid, aunt Lena!” Ruby retorted sounding a bit offended. “Supergirl isn’t stupid.”

Luthor locked eyes with Kara as if Alex and Ruby weren’t even there. Which was uncomfortable. The red-haired woman felt she needed to leave the two alone; however, she didn’t.

“I said the pajamas were stupid, not Supergirl. No one should put heroes on pedestals,” then the raven-haired woman looked at Ruby, “that’s what I find stupid.”

Alex looked at Ruby who shrugged at her clearly not understanding what was going on between Kara and Lena.

“Anyway. You guys are staying for breakfast, right?” Even Alex was able to hear the muffled squeal Lena tried to swallow. “Everything okay, aunt Lena?”

“Yes,” the woman hissed unpleasantly. “It's just an oil burn.” They watched as the woman turn off the stove before making her way out the kitchen. “I'm going to change since we're having guests for breakfast.”

If only looks could kill, she and Kara would be dead right now.

Well, that’s going to be a lovely morning.

—

“You did well.”

She stated happily to see Black Steel actually stayed after assisting the Superfriends with a jailbreak. There were sitting at the edge of a tall building close by the jail where prisoners had tried to escape.

Kara felt she had to tread carefully around the hero. Part of her already trusted them blindly which was dangerous for her. The last time she trusted someone so easily she messed things up; Kara has trusted Lena without letting her friend in.

But with Black Steel, it was dangerous because they were this masked hero who weren’t keen to share anything about themselves. Yet, the blonde felt she could let them save the city when she wasn’t able to get in time.

There was a connection of some sort, or she was completely going crazy looking for someone to fill the void Lena’s left in her life. Again.

Lena was confusing her. One day Kara was thinking maybe her friend is healing; the other day (today), Lena was throwing shade at Supergirl. That’s how breakfast at the Arias’ went — with Lena speaking poorly of Supergirl.

Kara thought that maybe it was time to let Lena go. The young woman looked good; she was dancing and singing (her voice was so smooth and nice; Kara has felt bad for never invite her friend to a karaoke night), her eyes were shining, and she looked overall healthy.

“Thank you.”

Their robotic voice caught the blonde’s attention.

“I meant about yesterday,” she explained herself offering her fries to Black Steel.

“Oh,” they said quietly and surprised. They cleared their throat. “I, I just did what you would’ve done, Superlady.” Kara laughed quietly. “But, I guess, less good and less inspirational.”

She didn’t agree. She heard their speech. Not only she was moved by their words but she almost panicked when what they have said hit too close to home.

“I also saw what you can do with your suit. I’m offering fries, so could you just… do that?”

For a moment Kara thought she crossed a line. It took them some time but eventually, the suit disappeared showing they wearing what resembled the DEO’s tactical clothing. The difference was in their bandanna that covered their face partly.

Their eyes looked very clear. If she didn’t know better, Kara would’ve assumed they were blind. Then it hit her.

“That’s an image inducer,” the blonde stated, feeling a bit disappointed.

“Yes, it’s an image inducer. You’re a very perceptive one, Superlady,” they teased earning a laugh from Kara.

“And… you are a woman?”

“That’s right.”

Brainy’s words invaded her mind. “Woman of Steel,” Kara said quietly and saw how Black Steel’s lips twisted at the corner.

“I don’t-- I think Woman _on_ Steel makes more sense. I’m still human.”

“So you are human?” She ate a fry. Kara felt strangely sad about not being able to share burgers and fries with Black Steel. The blonde went to Belly Burger only with that goal.

“I’ve just said that, Lady of Steel,” she teased Kara.

It felt… nice. But in the bad sort of way. How could the Kryptonian feel she already knew Black Steel when all she really knew was the shape of her lips and the color of her hair? And all that could be what Black Steel wanted to project through the image inducer.

She sighed.

“Did you… when you were talking to that boy, you said something about hurting the ones who hurt you. Whom were you talking about?”

Kara wanted to ask if Black Steel was talking about Kara Danvers and her friends. The hero wanted to know if who was under the suit was her Lena. It couldn’t be, she knew that. Lena never showed interest in being an obvious hero, the kind of hero that fought in the streets to protect people.

But the way she felt about Black Steel made her doubt herself. After all, Kara didn’t deserve the chance to have another friendship like she had with Lena, especially with another person.

She was questioning the Universe; why gifted her with Black Steel?

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. It matters to me.”

She looked at Kara. “Why, though? It’s not going to be a problem.”

“That’s not why I’m asking you that.”

Kara tried to control her voice because she didn’t want to sound too desperate for answers.

“So why are you asking me that, Superlady?” The woman under the image inducer sounded too vulnerable. “Because it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.” She shrugged.

“What’s done?”

Black Steel sighed closing her eyes. “Lex Luthor.”

A pang hit Kara’s heart, but she also felt lighter. Whoever Black Steel was, she wasn’t Lena; that was both good and sad.

“You wanted to hurt him or Lena Luthor?”

The woman shrugged. “Does it really matter, now? He’s dead and everyone thinks of me as a murder.”

Kara looked at her feeling an urge to take her hand in hers, but the blonde knew it would be for nothing. They were separated by an image induced suit.

“The thing is, Lady of Steel,” the blonde smiled softly at the woman, “I have to forgive myself first before asking people to forgive me for what I’ve done. And I’m not there yet.” There was so much earnestness in Black Steel’s voice that Kara's eyes watered a little.

“I hope one day you get there, Black Steel. You’ve made a bad choice but you’re not bad. I know already that you’re a hero.

“So I wish one day you forgive yourself. And I also wish for the day we can share food which is something I don’t do with anyone,” she teased lightly making the woman laugh. The sound made Kara's heart fluttered.

Before she could question herself about what was going on with her today and why she was reacting to women like this today, she heard a phone pinged.

“Ah, duty calls.”

“Duty?! But there’s no--”

“I have a life, Superlady. I don’t wear this all day.”

The woman was clearly mocking Kara who blushed; the color of the blonde’s cheeks has gotten redder when Black Steel resumed talking.

“Oh, I’ll see what I can see about our date.”

The Kryptonian sputtered her words trying to explain herself in vain. Black Steel playfully winked at her before suiting up again. Before Kara could say she didn’t mean like a date, the woman was already far from there.

Later that day Brainy said Black Steel left her a message; the woman asked her if the blonde knew someone who could work as a school psychologist. She also wrote she was looking forward to their _food sharing encounter_.

Kara had never felt so silly in her life. Except by the day when Lena filled her office with flowers.

—

_“I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t work here anymore.”_ Sam heard Alex saying.

She was on the elevator with Lena by her side trying not to focus on Alex’s voice sounding many floors above them. The brunette was bracing herself for a splitting headache since listening to everything and everyone was maddening.

Earlier today Arias almost burnt her laptop over some minor inconvenience with a board member.

Lena said she should call her if something came up, but Sam rather let her friend with Ruby than bothered Luthor with an almost mishappening related to heat vision.

When they finally reached their intended floor, there was a welcome committee waiting for them. Sam didn’t like it, especially after hearing the concerns of the employees who thought Sam and Lena were here to talk about L-Corp and DEO partnership.

“Miss Arias, Lena,” Brainy welcomed them. Lena had updated Sam about some minor changes; Alex was promoted to Director and after one year or so, quitted her job as Director, and Lex promoted Brainy to the post of Director. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Lena and Sam exchanged looks. There was no reason to extend the conversation, and Sam was feeling more and more anxious.

(And annoyed by people’s comments on why the women were here.)

Sympathetically, Lena nodded at her.

Without saying a word, she asked for Brainy’s tablet. Although puzzled by her extended hand, the man handed the tablet over her.

“I’m not here to waste your time.” With an ease that only Supergirl would relate to, Sam broke the tablet while folding the device. It felt as if she was folding paper. Brainy didn’t seem surprised, but the brunette heard Supergirl gasped while Alex cursed quietly.

She handed the tablet broke in six pieces to Brainy. “I think Reign might be back.” Ignoring the pained look in Alex’s and Supergirl’s eyes, Arias looked at Brainy. “And I need your help.”

“No.”

_What_?

Everybody said that.

“Brainy, you can’t deny her--” Alex voiced only to be interrupted by the raven-haired man.

“Reign is not back.” Then he looked at Lena. “And you know that.”

_What?!_

“What does he mean, you know that, Lena?”

Lena swallowed thickly.

“Right. Yesterday when you told me your concerns about Reign returning, I did some digging only to find out Reign never happened in this Earth.”

She blinked a few times.

“Excuse me?”

“I think, and I may be very wrong, but I think because you are a rare type of Kryptonian and you were split in two, you haven’t forgotten about our Earth.

“Your memories were never reset because that has already happened to you.”

“What an absurd!” Sam laughed thinking how crazy that theory was. Yes, one day she was in Metropolis working at L-Corp, and the other she was in Central City again. But since Ruby didn’t say anything, she just went with it.

“But it’s the truth,” Brainy said. “In Earth-Prime there was never Reign.”

Alex stepped in. “Okay, okay, if that is true, what are _you_ doing here?” The red-haired woman asked the DEO Director. “I mean, you, Imra and Mon-El only time-traveled to stop Reign and her sisters.”

“Yes. In this Earth, I traveled alone under Mon-El’s advice once my very evil and very murderous cousin came back to life to kill me.”

Supergirl seemed impressed by all that.

“Wait, so does that mean there was never a Red Daughter?”

“Precisely.”

Arias rolled her eyes. “You people didn’t think of taking a day to see what had changed?” She mocked them.

“Look who’s talking.”

She looked at Lena.

“What?”

“You pretended for one whole year that you actually lived in Central City instead of Metropolis. Also, you accepted that you had magically came back to work at your old job when you knew you were supposed to be at Metropolis working at L-Corp.”

She crossed her arms annoyed by Lena’s words. The young woman was right, she had accepted her life went back to what it was before Lena inviting her to be L-Corp CFO.

“Whatever, Lee,” she scowled ignoring her friend's small victory smirk. “Anyway, whatever is happening to me, I want your help to stop.”

“Stop?” Brainy looked truly surprised right now. He murmured ‘Woman of Steel’ which made Supergirl stared at Sam like she had an epiphany but of course the Girl of Steel listened to him too.

“Look, I have a daughter and I’m the CEO of a major company. I can’t be whatever you had planned for me. So make some tests to assure that Reign won’t try to take over me and I handle the rest.”

“But, your powers…” Supergirl started, quietly.

“I mean, yes, I’ll have to learn how to control them, but the idea of speed-reading some dull memos counts like a big pro to me.”

Lena snickered quietly.

“So, when can we start the tests?” She asked although her attention was caught by Lena receiving a video call from Ruby.

—

Freaking out wouldn’t do any good but she needed assistance. Also, now she believed her mother when Sam had complained about video games inciting violence. Ruby only disagreed about what part of a video game could make people acted out.

It wasn’t the violence in the games. It was lagging.

When her aunt Lena finally accepted her call, Ruby smiled.

_“Everything okay, Rube?”_ Her aunt asked her.

“Yeah, yeah. Are you busy, aunt Lena? I really need your--”

_“What happened to your TV?”_

Oh. Oh, no. Lena saw that.

_“Something happened? Let me talk to her,”_ she heard her mother. Panic rose and so did she.

_“Ruby, did you just…”_ Lena said and before the teen could say anything, the woman probably projected their call to a much larger screen.

She could see her family; her mother looked like a fish out of the water while Lena seemed mildly shocked. Supergirl and Alex Danvers were looking at here too. As for Ruby, she was floating some inches from the ground, upside down, close to the TV her eyes have burnt for being frustrated over the game she was playing.

“Hi, guys.” Trying to be casual, the teen waved at them.

And then she fell on the ground.

_“Ruby!”_

She heard her mother on the other side of the call.

Crap. Was she in trouble?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Lena only looks like Katie McGrath, she can sing and dance. To me, her voice sounds like Dianna Agron's. Also, the PJs scene was based on [this](https://lesly-oh.tumblr.com/post/155732272982/im-the-1-fan-of-lenas-1-fan-shirt-thank-you) amazing fan art by Lesly. Ah, the song Lena was singing is [_I Love Me_ by Demi Lovato](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tfwdC0X_yY).
> 
> Thoughts? Feedbacks? Suggestions?
> 
> Yell at me at Tumblr: https://liapretos.tumblr.com/
> 
> P.S.: I haven't forgotten my _Ray of Light_ series. Soon another one-shot will be up!


	7. Kill This Love: Part One.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry, are you implying that Eros is real and is at National City making people fall in love?” Luthor had a good laugh about that but now she’s questioning these people sanity. “Are you serious,” she looked at Kara. “Are they serious?” The hero nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, a crossover with the Legends/Batwoman/The Flash! But mainly the Legends because it's all their fault. lol It's a two-part chapter but only because I'm trying to stick to 3k-4k for a chapter at max.
> 
> P.S.: I stopped watching Supergirl at the 100th episode. Please don't spoil the show to me. I'm going to watch once the season is over.

It’s been two weeks since Sam and Ruby displayed their powers. Differently than her mother, the teen was eager to be trained by Supergirl; Kara was admittedly loving having the teen as a mentee.

Not that she didn’t like to mentor Nia, but it was different. Dreamer was as eager as Ruby, yes; however, the young adult had an agenda to follow already. Whether Nia has realized or not, Dreamer was a political hero. More so than Supergirl.

Kara didn’t judge, though. Nia _had_ to have an agenda the moment she had said Dreamer was a trans woman. The blonde was proud of her, yes, but she didn’t want Ruby to end up serving a political view. Especially without girl’s knowledge and consent.

Therefore, she was coming to the DEO only to train how to control how powers. If she ever desired to become a full-time hero, that choice should be made by her and only her.

The only problem in having Ruby at the DEO after school every weekday was seeing Lena every evening. Since Sam worked late hours, Lena was picking up the girl. They would rarely exchange more than three words, and that hurt Kara.

At least they didn’t have to deal with Reign and the kryptonite debacle again. The Arias woman was as powerful as Kara but this time she wasn’t sharing her mind and body with a killing machine searching for justice.

One good thing that happened after Crisis, yay.

—

It was a lazy Thursday.

Ruby was still training, and Lena was there watching her niece learning how to control her flight. The teen had fallen in her butt more times than Lena has exploded or burnt her lab while working in her Black Steel suit.

After the fifth video she made and sent Sam, she stopped laughing.

“You’re getting frustrated, Rube,” she said overlapping Kara’s advice about focus. “That’s not going to get you anywhere.”

“I know!” The teen snapped making both adults stared at each other after looking at the girl in shock. “I know,” Ruby said quietly. “Sorry, aunt Lena.”

The woman shrugged. “Release your frustrations. I know you need it.”

Luthor saw Ruby’s eyes get red with heat vision.

“What?! No! She can’t release her frustrations all the time like--”

She cut Kara — Supergirl, actually — off.

“Cut the crap, will you? She’s a teenager who has powers. She _needs_ to free her frustrations somehow or she won’t be able to focus.”

“That goes against what I’m trying to teach her, miss--”

Again, Lena interrupted the hero.

“Which is what exactly, Supergirl? Ruby isn’t you. She doesn’t need to bottle her anger and bad thoughts. You better first teach her it’s okay to be frustrated, then you teach her how to control her anger.”

The raven-haired woman didn’t have to agree with this, but she did share her opinions with Sam, saying how Supergirl training Ruby could be problematic because of Supergirl’s philosophies.

“You don’t get to tell me how to teach a Kryptonian to--”

Kara began to speak, clearly not wanting Lena’s unsolicited advice. Not that the Luthor cared for that. Ruby tried to ease the tension between them.

“Guys, chill--”

“ _You_ don’t get to teach my niece how to--”

Before Lena could lash out her thoughts, Brainy appeared.

She took a deep breath trying to calm herself. Luthor didn’t understand herself. How could Lena be friendly to Kara when she was Black Steel but as herself, she snapped at the blonde all the time? Maybe _she_ was the one with a split personality case on this Earth.

“Supergirl, your friends from the ship are here.”

He stated simply earning a raised brow from Lena and a furrowed forehead from Kara.

“I guess that’s it for today,” Ruby shrugged.

“Hit the showers, Ruby. I’m going to wait here for you.”

Lena watched Brainy approaching her. “Actually, Lena, it’s better if you go with Supergirl. The Legends may need your help. I’ll take miss Arias home.”

Okay, what was happening? She arched her brow further.

“Why a bunch of time travelers heroes would need my help?”

— 

She’d been laughing for a minute or so; her belly and her cheeks were hurting so much, but Lena couldn’t stop laughing at what the Legends captain had said. Luthor had sought support in Kara’s arm since her legs were starting to weaken.

It was getting awkward; she knew but it was _ridiculous._ Lena had never heard something so nonsensical before.

“Who’s she again?”

A bald man wearing a leather jacket and gloves asked.

“Oh, that’s Lena,” Kara answered mindlessly as she helped Lena to not fall from laughing too hard.

The raven-haired woman didn’t see the weird exchange of looks between Sara Lance and Kate Kane.

“She is _the_ Lena, as in… Lena Luthor?”

Captain Lance asked in a tone that made Lena stop laughing almost immediately. She dried her tears of laughter.

After sobering up enough, she looked at the woman. “The Lena Luthor?” Then she looked at Kara. “What that’s supposed to mean?” But the blonde only shrugged.

Lena let go of Kara’s arm soon enough and cleared her throat.

“God, I was needing a good laugh. But sorry about that.”

Sara Lance mindlessly waved her hand off. “It’s fine. We’ve gotten so used to hearing these things we’ve forgotten it can be funny.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry, are you implying that Eros is real and is at National City making people fall in love?” Luthor had a good laugh about that but now she’s questioning these people sanity. “Are you serious,” she looked at Kara. “Are they serious?” The hero nodded.

She snorted at that.

“What is that you people do again?” Lena asked; they hadn’t explained to her, who didn’t exactly know the Legends, who were they and what they did.

The young woman knew superficially who was The Flash and Batwoman, and she had heard of Black Lightning since Freeland became national news because of the war with Markovia. Hell, she even stumbled upon some teen girl with a magical staff who called herself Stargirl. But the Legends? No, Lena didn’t know them.

“We, miss Luthor,” another blonde woman started talking, “deal with historical changes and magical issues, all sorts things. We make sure History stays the same if something ever happens in the past.”

“Really, like what for example?” No, she wasn’t believing the ‘we fix the timeline’ crap. Not when they almost destroyed the DEO’s heliport while landing.

“Lena, please,” Kara intervened. “They don’t, _we_ don’t have time. Sara… she’s the Paragon of Destiny, she fought alongside me at the Crisis.”

She crossed her arms. “Is that supposed to make me believe her? My brother was a paragon. The Paragon of _Truth_ , right? That doesn’t give your friend much credit to me.”

Instead of being offended by Lena’s lack of trust, the ship’s captain laughed.

“I mean, she’s not wrong, Kara. We fought alongside a maniac man who took someone else’s place.” Lena watched the other blonde elbowed the captain. “But we do fix the timeline. Usually, because we messed up with it, but we--”

At the corner of her eyes, she watched Kara making signs for Sara Lance to stop talking.

“Hm, so let me guess. This Eros thing it’s actually happening because you people messed up with the timeline?”

A brunette approached them with her index left finger raised. “In our defense, we didn’t know Eros was in the ship with us.”

“You didn’t know Eros was in the ship with you,” she repeated mocking the woman’s annoying voice.

“Well, at least Barry and Iris are having a ton of sex.” Kate Kane said. And who would’ve thought that the Crows heiress was Batwoman? How ironic.

Lena looked at Kara. “Barry is The Flash?” The blonde threw daggers at Kane who simply shrugged. “Ah, I see.” She uncrossed her arms. “Do you really need _my_ help or am I here only to--”

“We do, actually. We need a brain.” Luthor squinted puzzled. “Our smart guys aren’t with us anymore. Ray is with his wife and Behrad quitted after Leviathan. Cisco is unavailable, Brainy has the DEO to take care of and…” Sara looked at Kate.

“And Luke isn’t as smart as you.”

She mentally marked all these names. But for now, Lena only sighed. “What do you need me for?”

Sara Lance, Kate Kane and a black woman whose name Lena didn’t know yet looked at each other probably because Kara had squealed happily by her side cheering because the raven-haired woman decided to help.

—

So the Legends had mistakenly brought Eros, the Greek Cupid, to modern times and he was here at National City after stopping by Central City and messed with Barry’s and Iris’ lives.

It was fine, really.

Actually, Kara had always wanted to work only with the Legends because they seemed to have a lot of fun; meeting Barry and Oliver always ended in a sad or tragic way. When the Legends (and Batwoman) were involved, things were lighter.

Plus, she got the chance to introduce Lena to her other heroic friends.

It didn’t go as well as Kara had expected to be, but it wasn’t a disaster either. And now her friend was trying to build a device that would make the Greek God powerless or at least would make his arrows ineffective. 

“Do you need help?”

She asked; Kara had offered help at least six times already. The blonde felt hopeless, yes, but she couldn’t give up. Lena was so close — literally. She could smell her shampoo and her perfume.

“I,” the raven-haired woman turned her head to face Kara. They were close, only some inches apart. “I need space, Supergirl.”

“You don’t need to call me Supergirl here.” They were inside the Waverider. “They know my identity.”

“You don’t say.” Lena sounded bitter.

Silence.

Kara chewed her lower lip anxiously and fidgeted with the hem of her cape. She opened her mouth to say something when Sara reappeared with Frost — Caitlin Snow, actually.

“So apparently Barry and Iris were facing problems in their relationship.”

The blonde watched her friend looking at Sara’s direction.

“What kind of problems?” Lena asked interested. They both saw Caitlin stuttered a little before telling Barry and Iris were trying to have a kid, but something was always happening, usually a hero emergency.

“Eros said they were soulmates before shooting them with his arrows.”

“So he’s targeting soulmates with relationship problems first?” The young woman questioned again, and she seemed to be thinking about something. Caitlin only shrugged. “And he targeted your friends first?” The woman nodded.

“What are you thinking about?” Sara was the one who asked Lena.

“That’s interesting data.” Lance looked at Kara who furrowed brow.

“How come?”

“Okay,” Lena spun in her chair to face the ship’s captain, “he’s targeting supposedly soulmates who are facing problems and because he’s Eros, he’s targeting romantic soulmates who needs to work out their problems, but he went to The Flash before and now he’s here at National City. Why?”

They all stared at each other speechless.

“He’s targeting the heroes first. No wonder he went after the fastest man alive.”

“So you’re saying if a couple is facing problems in their relationship and one of them is a hero…”

“No, not a couple, miss Lance, two romantic soulmates. It’s different.”

“Really?” The way Sara looked at Lena then looked at Kara made the Kryptonian blushed hard. Kara also felt lost as to why Sara had stared at them. “And how can we know who has a soulmate here? Love is--”

“A bunch of chemical reactions.”

Sara laughed. “Of course.”

“But loving someone doesn’t make them soulmates, right?” Caitlin voiced seemingly interested in the conversation. “If that’s the case, how can we determine who has a soulmate?”

“Do you know something about quantum entanglement?”

“That’s Physics, correct?”

—

Being on a ship that can travel to any time should be more glamorous than this. But once again Lena wasn’t there to visit. These people only went to her to ask for help. After explaining in simple and quick words what quantum entanglement was and how that knowledge could help them to track which heroes should avoid being near their romantic soulmates, she went to the kitchen.

“That kitchen can provide food from anywhere at any time and Lena Luthor chooses to ask for a Snickers.”

She raised her brow at the presence of Kate Kane dressed as Batwoman, minus the cowl. Lena remained quiet.

“Do you really believe in what you just explained? When particles are entangled, the change in one will affect the other?”

Lena shrugged and ate her candy quietly.

“In Crisis Kara talked a lot about you.”

“So what?” She asked after chewing her Snickers.

“Nothing. Can you just, take it easy on her? She’s really excited to have you here as part of the team.”

Lena chuckled mockingly. “I’m not part of the team. I never was, _Batwoman_. She and all her friends only call me when it’s convenient for them. I’m here because I’m needed, not because she wholeheartedly wants me here.”

“I don’t think that’s true. She cares for you”

“She cared, I’ll give her that. But Kara is no better than her cousin when it comes to Luthor and kryptonite.”

“Because it’s the only thing that can hurt her.”

Lena could punch this woman for her audacity. “And yet, you have it with you. Because Supergirl gave it to you. I saw at the battle against Leviathan when they had Superman under their control, and you had to use it.”

The short-haired woman didn’t say anything at all this time.

“She trusted you because you’re not a Luthor. At the end of the day, Supergirl and everyone else will see me as that, a Luthor.”

Lena got up from her chair.

“And regarding your question, yes, I believe in that.”

She left the kitchen to work on the devices she had to build.

—

Watching Lena working is oddly hypnotizing to Kara. She couldn’t take her eyes off her friend. The way the raven-haired woman moved around the lab wing looking for tools and such. It was oddly satisfying to see the young woman easily finding herself at home in the lab doing science.

Before Kara could ask Lena if she needed help, Sara and Charlie entered the room.

“Any progress?”

“Building a device to confirm who is whose soulmate is easier than building a countermeasure to Eros’ powers.”

Lena was stressed and frustrated about that. The blonde had heard Lena cursing at least four times.

“But the countermeasure is--”

“More important, _yes_ , I know that captain Lance but have you ever considered that I don’t how his God-like powers work? And the only people who were affected by his arrows are now at their home having sex?!”

Sara looked at Kara; the hero lowered her eyes not wanting to pick sides or to interfere.

“So what are you saying, Luthor?”

Suddenly Lena is pointing at weird-ass looking gun at Sara. Kara supersped herself and shielded Sara from Lena.

“Lena, please, don’t--”

“I’m not going to kill her. Jesus, Supergirl, you really think poorly--”

“What are you going to do with this gun?” Sara asked keeping her hands raised.

“I need to confirm if you and your girlfriend are tangled.”

“Oh…” Kara and Sara both said. Slowly, the Kryptonian moved aside.

“Ava, babe, can you come to the lab?”

Once Ava Sharpe was there, Lena scanned both of them. Romantic soulmates confirmed. “Now be kind and pick a fight. I need to study Eros’ powers.” Lena said nonchalantly resuming to her work.

The couple stared at the raven-haired woman and then at Kara who shrugged helplessly.

Working with Lena was harder than she thought it would be now they weren’t in speaking terms. But it could get worse and it did after Sara, Ava and she came back to the ship after facing Eros.

“You two look fine. What happened, weren’t you supposed to argue and be shot by him?” Nate asked when he saw his friends.

“Oh, we argued,” Ava stated. “But apparently, we weren’t a deserving target.”

“Wait, what does that mean?”

Sara pointed at Kara who had a split lip.

“So, uh, I,” she started although Kara didn’t know how to break the news, especially now that Lena approached the ship main wing. “I lost my powers?” She opened her arms and shrugged apologetically.

The blonde could feel Lena’s stare burning her head due to its intensity. She also could see how frustrated the woman was.

“Just our luck, am I right?” Lena stated coldly before leaving the room. Kara felt a pang in her heart. She was used to by now but the ache she usually felt never hurt like now.

She was powerless, literally, and her former friend didn’t even care.

— 

“What I told you about taking easy with Kara?” Lena rolled her eyes once the sound of Batwoman’s voice reached her ears.

“Don’t you having more pressing business to take care of?”

The woman grabbed a stool and sat close to Lena. “What are you doing?”

“I’m tired of people asking me that like isn’t obvious.” She retorted rudely.

“I meant about Kara.”

Lena stopped studying Kara’s blood to look at Kate Kane. “Why do _you_ care about that? You know her for one year or so and she’s been honest to you more than she was with me in four years of friendship.”

“I don’t think it’s true. The way she speaks of you--”

“The way she speaks of me doesn’t concern me, Batwoman,” Lena stated dryly. “If you excuse me, I have work to do.”

Luthor returned to her microscope to try to understand how Eros’ arrows worked. Despise of having a bit of science behind enough to Lena see how Kara’s blood cells had changed after being hit, there was a lot of God-like power to make almost impossible to create a countermeasure for it.

She sighed frustratingly.

Ava Sharpe cleared her throat announcing herself.

“Any progress?”

“No. Only dead-end, again.”

“So you have no idea of why Kara has lost her powers?” Kate questioned her.

“No. I see there is something on her system, but I can’t make what is it or how to get rid of it. Because,” and she rolled her eyes at the absurdity of her own words, “that’s the work of a god. But I also think the main problem is that the arrow’s powers adapt to its host.”

“What do you mean?”

Lena looked at Ava, the one who asked her. “Barry and Iris are trying to start a family, but he never had the time. Solution? Increase their libido making impossible for them to be apart.”

“If that’s true, why is Kara powerless?”

She shrugged when Batwoman questioned her.

“You’ll have to ask her that.”

“Actually, while fighting us Eros said something how Supergirl was perceiving love as a weakness rather than a strength. Do you think that’s why the arrow took her powers from her?” 

Why would Kara Danvers think something like that about love?

Oh.

Of course. Mon-El and then William. It made sense.

“Probably, yes. Kara had to give up romantic love a few times. It makes perfect sense if she has lost hope to find this kind of love.”

Suddenly, Kate Kane seemed very interested in their conversation. Odd.

“Tell me more about.”

Lena furrowed her brow.

“Well, for starters she had to send her boyfriend away because the air was filled with lead. Mon-El was a Daxamite meaning he was allergic to lead. Then she watched William Dey being murdered by my brother.”

“I never--” Kate started speaking but Sara elbowed her. Lena found weird but didn’t question. “--knew Kara had been through so much.”

“Yes, she had.” The raven-haired woman cleared her throat. “If you excuse me, I have to figure out what to do to reverse this before Eros decides to target more heroes or, worse, civilians.”

—

Eros’ words were ringing in Kara’s mind.

_If you insist on treating love as a weakness, weak you shall become._

_For love when felt fully is strength and burning fire. Love when felt completely with its faults and all, is powerful._

She had no idea what the god was talking about. Kara had never treated love as a weakness; not deliberately at least. The blonde admittedly had given up on finding someone for her but that didn’t mean she thought love was a weakness.

“You look like crap, blondie,” Charlie said offering a bottle of beer to Kara.

“I just lost my powers. You guys call me to help and now I’m powerless.”

She sighed.

“Yeah, but who would’ve imagined he would target _you_ , right?” Kara had the impression Charlie wanted to add more to her talking but the black woman didn’t, and Kara didn’t force her. “Lucky us your friend is still helping us.”

Kara chewed her lower lip before taking a sip of the beer.

“I just wish we could understand his main plan. Why targeting us first and why only people who supposedly have trouble with romantic love?”

“Who knows?” Charlie shrugged. “Gods are… unpredictable. Even if I had the Loom of Fate, they don’t work on Gods.” The woman sighed.

“I don’t know what to do, Charlie. How do I get my powers back?”

She watched as the woman smiled knowingly. 

“You hope that your friend is right, and you’re tangled with someone who will be affected by the change you’ve gone through and that they help you wherever they are.”

“I guess you’re right.” Another sip of the beer.

Kara hoped that whoever was romantically tangled with her, that this person was okay.

She also hoped that Lena could help her before it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't understand Physics. I wikipedia'd the info about quantum entanglement. Lena's basic concept of what quantum entanglement is was based on [this](https://solaert.tumblr.com/post/176129845415/what-do-you-know-about-quantum-entanglement-i) beautiful fan art.
> 
> Remember: Feedback is nice!  
> Also, stay well, people. Wash your hands, take time off the social media if necessary. Take deep breaths if anxiety over what's happening starts to take over. Be safe. <3


	8. Kill This Love: Part Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lena!” She whined. Kara embraced herself as she approached the only living Luthor. “It’s dangerous. Come on, you know things can go sideways and I, I won’t be able to--”
> 
> “I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”
> 
> Kara wanted to grab her friend’s shoulders and shake Lena until the woman gave up. Every time Lena had come up with a stupidly dangerous idea, Kara had always wanted to shake the lack of self-preservation out of Lena’s system.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, somehow this is now a soul mate au-ish?

It was getting crowed over there.

Sat on a stool very close to her working station was Kara at her right — which was okay because she needed the blonde there — and Caitlin Snow, a known bioengineer from Central City, at her left. Kate Kane was also there although she sat a bit far away.

On the other side of the working station where Lena was testing her device on Kara, was Zari Tazari and Charlie (who was actually Clotho). Her day wouldn’t get any crazier than this.

At least Sara Lance and Ava Sharpe were out trying to warn some Jefferson Pierce man and the renowned doctor Lynn Stewart about what was happening.

Nathanael Heywood was talking to Ray Palmer and his wife; the bald rude man was at the kitchen drinking beer with a British blonde man who seemed too strange for Lena even asked who he was.

“Stop staring.” She voiced without looking at anyone specific. Kara was the only one to respond.

“Oh, sorry. I’m, uh, I’ll--”

“Not _you_.” Lena raised her stare at the other women. “You people. Hasn’t any of you seen someone doing science before?”

Some of them moved uncomfortably under Lena’s stern gaze.

“We just never saw a Luthor helping a Super deliberately and with no malice.”

Luthor stared at Kane.

“Funny. I never thought a Super and a Bat could be friends either but look at you two being so chummy,” she retorted feeling the air thickened. Lena lowered her eyes to her device to adjust something before looking at Kara again. “That may hurt.” She warned.

Lena turned on the device and hit the blonde with a wave of energy that seemingly didn’t even tickle the Kryptonian.

She arched a brow questioningly. “Nothing…” Kara said disappointed and sad.

The raven-haired woman sighed frustrated. “I need one more sample from a different person then.”

“Can’t you just restore her powers?” The woman named Charlie asked.

“No, I can’t because Supergirl hasn’t solar flared or gotten beat into a coma. What happened to her has nothing to do with her physiology! That’s on a spoiled Greek God who thinks he can toy with people’s lives because he thinks he knows better! And now we don’t have our most powerful asset because apparently, she’s facing love problems that no one especially me can solve!”

Yes, she snapped in front of a bunch of people she didn’t know. But Lena was tired of not being able to solve this. Somehow, she felt it was her fault even though it wasn’t.

When Lena felt a soft squeeze in her left shoulder, she back away from the touch. The woman got up from her stool, starting to leave the lab.

“That’s why I’m an atheist.” She complained as she left the room.

—

_“You know that what happened to Kara is not your fault, right?”_ She heard Caitlin saying. Eavesdropping was bad but Kara couldn’t help herself. She had followed Lena only to be outrun by the engineer.

_“Logically, yes, I know. But somehow I do feel responsible for her current state.”_

The blonde wanted so much to step in the room and say it was not Lena’s fault. It couldn’t be, anyway.

_“Even so you shouldn’t be that hard on yourself, Lena; may I call you Lena? Miss Luthor sounds way too formal especially when you are younger than me.”_

_“I, uh, yes, please. Lena is fine.”_ Kara smiled at the exchange. Caitlin was kind and gentle; Frost not so much but the blonde was trying her best to befriend the other side of Caitlin. _“And I know I shouldn’t, but people are counting on me._ Kara _is counting on me.”_

Her heart beat faster. Lena’s way of saying her name sent butterflies filled with hope to Kara’s stomach. The Kryptonian almost felt stronger with the small realization that maybe there was a chance to save their friendship.

_“You care for her. When you guys are in the same room, you don’t show, but you care deeply for her, don’t you?”_

Kara felt anxious wanting to know what Lena would say. No, she shouldn’t be there because Caitlin’s and Lena’s conversation was getting too personal — and the blonde was the main topic — but she couldn’t leave.

Not until feeling two hands squeezing hard her shoulders almost pushing her to the floor since the person applied so much strength.

She was pulled out from her spot.

“What are you doing?” Kate asked her. “Wait, were you trying to listen to their conversation? My oh my, Kara,” she mocked the blonde who held her stance.

“I was not. I only wanted to check on Lena to see if she’s okay.” She said in a haste.

“And?”

“What?”

Kate smirked and raised a brow at her. “Luthor’s okay?”

“Oh, I, er, I didn’t get the chance to, I-- Caitlin was faster and now they’re talking.”

“Right.” Kate’s smirk grew; the short-haired woman looked annoyingly smug as if she knew something Kara didn’t. “Anyway, Sara and Ava are back. Black Lightning is staying on Freeland, but he now knows what’s happening here.”

Kate guided Kara back to the ship’s lab. Sara was there waiting for her.

“New plan.”

Why all of sudden Kara was filled with dread and anxiety? It was like her body knew the other blonde would say something she wouldn’t like.

“We’ll send you and Lena out to bait Eros so that way she gets his samples to study his powers.”

Everyone in the room seemed to think Sara’s plan was reasonable but Kara.

“Wait, what? You just can’t send Lena out there as bait, Sara!”

The woman crossed her arms and stared at Kara's sudden change of posture. The Kryptonian was shaking inside and feeling anxious.

“That’s actually her choice, Kara. Ava is talking to her right now.”

“ _What?!_ ” Everyone looked at her shocked after she raised her voice. “No! I won’t allow it! Sara, come on! We don’t really know what we are up against here and you want to send her out there to lure him?!

“She’s an untrained non-powered human! You can’t be serious about using her as bait! And, and I, I don’t have my powers. How am I supposed to protect her if something happens?!”

No one said a word.

Her heart was aching too much; she was panting.

“Please don’t do this…” Kara asked quietly not knowing if she would say ‘to Lena’ or ‘to me’ if she ever finished her sentence.

“Don’t do what exactly?”

She froze when Lena’s voice made its way to her ears. Kara looked at her former friend not being able to hide her fear from her face.

“Sara wants to use you as bait.”

Lena seemed pensive.

“Did Ava explain to you that it’s a way to get you a sample of Eros’ powers?”

The raven-haired woman nodded. Kara couldn’t breathe properly.

“And?”

She kept looking at Lena, silently begging the woman to say no to this stupid and dangerous idea.

“When shall I departure?”

“Lena!” She whined. Kara embraced herself as she approached the only living Luthor. “It’s dangerous. Come on, you know things can go sideways and I, I won’t be able to--”

“I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”

Kara wanted to grab her friend’s shoulders and shake Lena until the woman gave up. Every time Lena had come up with a stupidly dangerous idea, Kara had always wanted to shake the lack of self-preservation out of Lena’s system.

Her eyes teared a little. “You’re so stubborn!” She grunted.

She felt the need to kick something, and so she did. Kara kicked a stool as she left the lab. There was no reason to delay the plan. The sooner they baited Eros; the sooner Lena would be back to safety.

—

They were at the rooftop of a building. More specifically, Kara and Lena were at the heliport of the L-Corp building. She wasn’t exactly happy to be there especially with non-powered Kara and Sam. If something happened, making her fall again, Lena wouldn’t survive this time.

She would die mid falling then she would become goo.

Fun, wasn’t it?

“You could’ve said no.”

Or maybe she would end up in jail for pushing Kara over the edge of the building.

“You’ve said that, but I need to know how to at least reverse his arrows effect on people. Your friends can die for having too much sex, you do know that, right?”

The way Kara’s cheeks redden was endearing but Lena decided not to dwell on that fact.

“You don’t even know if we can get one of his arrows. Or his blood. What if his skin is impenetrable?!”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Can you calm down? Really, Kara, having a panic attack right now isn’t going to make me give up.” But would definitely make her worry for her former friend.

“I’m not! Having a panic attack! I do not panic!”

The raven-haired woman looked at the blonde and raised a brow.

“I don’t! I just think it’s a dangerous way to gather data.” Kara shrugged crossing her arms. “But you’re way too stubborn to see that.”

Lena lowered her eyes, staring at how clean her gym shoes still were after a month or so of heavy use. Whatever, she wasn’t stubborn. It was a small word; Lena was driven, determined. When she had a goal, she would do everything in her power to complete.

“I wonder from who you got your lack of self-preservation. It’s definitely _not_ a Luthor trait.”

What in the hell?

“Excuse _me_?! What that’s supposed to mean?!”

“That Lillian and Lex would go on with their plan only so far. If they realized they were risking their lives, they would whether stop everything or change their plans to affect other people. You don’t do that. You always go for it even though you could die.”

Lena heard the sadness in Kara’s voice. She ignored the blonde’s words instead of retorting the other woman. Kara was kind of right, though.

The idea of sacrificing herself for a cause never scared Lena. Despite her best efforts to try and stay alive in this world, she would always be the first to volunteer to go on a deadly mission like this one. In the end, Lena always perceived herself as expendable.

“Well, well, well.” A man said. Lena looked at him; he was tall with broad shoulders, clearly strong and fit. He had brown hair, blue eyes and a nose that gave away his Greek origins. His accent was thick but strangely charming. _He_ was strangely charming. “My favorite Luthor and Super duo.”

She snorted at that; however, the God ignored her.

“Still powerless, I see,” Eros said to Kara. Lena knew if the blonde had her powers, Kara would heat vision the God out of existence.

The Kryptonian grunted loudly enough for both Lena and Eros heard; the God simply laughed.

“You better give my powers back or so Rao helps me I will--” Kara advanced but Lena stopped her by holding Kara’s wrist which made Eros raised a brow, interested.

“You will what, Kara Danvers? You can’t hurt me. I also see you still feel love as a weakness.”

Lena rolled her eyes at the man and his arrogance. She walked to him, not wanting to extend this more than the necessary. But the moment she took three steps towards him, Eros wave his hand making Kara stand close to the edge.

“Uh, Lena?” The blonde sounded nervous.

She looked at the woman. “Kara? What are you-- but you were-- _how_?”

Eros laughed as if someone had told him the funniest joke he had ever heard.

“It seems to me you have a choice to make, Lena Luthor; me or her. One more step and she will fall.”

Another look to Kara.

“Lena, don’t hear him. He’s bluffing, you know that.”

But the thing was — she didn’t. Lena wasn’t exactly good in anticipate other people’s bluffs. She could be good at bluffing but when it came to others, she was never sure. Lex and Lillian bluffed so much she could never trust them.

“Come on, Lena! Do what you must do!”

What Lena most hated about Kara wasn’t the fact the woman had lied over their entire friendship, or that she had used Lena’s relationship with James against her, or that the blonde had deceived Lena time and time again when saying she believed the Luthor.

No.

Lena hated how Kara made her feel capable of doing anything. Whether she was climbing a broken plane to save herself or saving thousands of aliens from being poisoned when Kara would say Lena could do something, Luthor felt she actually could.

She felt powerful somehow as if Kara’s words were Lena’s yellow Sun.

But Kara was wrong this time. As soon as Lena approached Eros a bit more, she heard a scream.

Kara had fallen off the building.

—

That was it.

That's the way Kara would die. Falling off a tall building. Without her powers.

Or so she thought.

Her right hand was being held by something sweaty. When the blonde looked up, she saw Lena. It was impossible. How the woman reached to edge so fast?

Almost half of Lena’s body was off the edge and that was troubling. Eventually, the young one would be pulled by Kara’s weight and both would die a painful death. The blonde didn’t want that.

“Lena, let me go.” She tried to sound calm. Truth is that Kara was panicking. She didn’t want to die especially like this.

Not only it would be way too soon, but it would be also stupid. After so many worse crises she would die powerless for falling off a building? Not fair.

“Are you insane?!” Lena bit back.

“It’s okay. Really.”

It wasn’t, though. Not really.

It was so not okay that Lena started to lift Kara with a strength coming from who knows where. Why all of sudden Lena was faster and stronger than Kara? Maybe the woman always was strong and fast but when compared to a Kryptonian, she wasn’t.

“Really?! _I_ had to climb whilst _you_ are ready to give up? You’re such a hypocrite, Kara! Now help me a little and do your part, you asshole.”

Kara not only listened to Lena’s words, but she also looked at her former friend. She _really_ looked at Lena. She saw her the woman was doing her best to help the blonde, working all her human strength to pull Kara up from the edge.

There was a fire burning in Lena’s eyes. Something strong and powerful that ignited Lena’s will to save the blonde.

_I'd like to think that if it came down to a choice between Lois and the world, but... I don't think I could. You are so much stronger than me. Stronger than I ever will be._

She remembered Kal’s words after she said goodbye to Mon-El. Her cousin praised her for being able to let go of her loved one.

_Changing history to save a friendship? Kara, I don't... I don't know._

All Kara wanted was to fix things with Lena even if that meant messing with the timeline. She had done that before; she went back minutes or so to prevent her mother, Mon-El and Sam of dying. Why couldn’t she do the same with Lena?

“Come on, Kara!”

_No! I’m not going to drop you!_

The fire in Lena’s eyes burned brighter than in the day the blonde had saved her friend from dying in a wrecked plane.

_I killed my brother for you, for our friends! Don't you understand what you've done?_

She hadn’t understood at that time. But now she had.

Lena had chosen Kara and their friends. The woman had chosen Kara over her own brother when the blonde hadn’t been the most honest of all friends to the young Luthor.

“Lena…”

Her voice sounded soft and questioning. Something was blossoming inside the Kryptonian. Eros’ words from their fight ringed inside Kara’s head. However, it was too late. Lena’s hand was sweaty and so was Kara’s.

She fell with her eyes closed.

There was no impact or whatsoever, though.

Only warm metal arms holding her.

“Hiya there!”

Beneath the robotically modified and excited voice, Kara could hear the worry in Black Steel’s voice.

“You?! How?!”

—

Kara must be the stupidest alien Lena ever knew if the blonde really thought the woman would let her die.

Yes, their relationship was broken (maybe not beyond repair if Lena stopped being such a spoiled child) but that didn’t mean Luthor wanted the blonde dead, or that she would watch the other woman died without doing nothing.

So, secret identity being damned, Lena dived in as soon as Kara’s hand slipped from hers activating her suit mid-air. Suited up, she flew to Kara grabbing the blonde before it was too late.

Luckily for Lena, Kara hadn’t watched her body being covered by her Black Steel suit; the blonde wouldn’t look _that_ surprised if she had seen Lena becoming Black Steel, that’s for sure. Not that it mattered. In the end, Kara was alive, in her arms.

If Luthor wasn’t too prideful, she would have smashed Kara in a crushing hug.

(And cursed her [former] friend for being keen to self-sacrifice.)

“I was in the neighborhood when I saw you falling.” Flimsy excuse, yes, but her heart was racing, and she was close to throwing up inside the suit.

She could’ve died if she failed.

The stupidest way to die — trying to save her former best friend from dying, and failing miserably.

“Oh.” What Lena should make of that? Had Kara believed in her? “Your suit is warm.”

Maybe it was better if she took the blonde to the ship instead of landing in front of L-Corp. Kara didn’t look good. The normally healthy and slightly tanned woman was pale.

“It’s powered by the Sun.”

“ _I_ ’m powered by the Sun!”

She put Kara down once Lena was certain the blonde’s legs wouldn’t give in.

“I know, Superlady.”

Kara looked silly but maybe that’s because she almost died painfully. But the silliness vanished as fast as it reached the hero’s face. The Kryptonian looked worried.

“Lena!”

“What?” She answered sounding as if Kara was calling her and she was answering. _‘Ugh, your dingus!’_ She thought to herself.

But the reporter was too focused on something else. “I-- she’s still up there! With-- oh, my God. She’s there with Eros.”

Time to pretend.

“Eros…?”

“It’s a long story and we don’t have time. Oh, and I don’t have my powers. Could you just--”

She smiled although Kara couldn’t see.

“Up, up and away to help your friend?”

Lena wanted to slap herself. They were _not_ friends, not anymore! But, well, the world didn’t know that. Not yet anyway.

“Yes, please.”

She flew fast. Not as fast as she had flown to catch Kara before the blonde became a goo on the floor but fast enough to reach L-Corp’s heliport within a few minutes.

“Look who’s back.”

Of course, Eros would know Black Steel and Lena Luthor are the same person. He is a god. She rolled her eyes.

“El, I need one of his arrows. What do I do to get it?” She asked for her A.I.

_“Eros’ arrows are guarded in his quiver. Creating a distraction will be the easiest way to extract one of his arrows.”_

Oh, because that was easy. He was a literal god.

“I think it’s endearing how you almost sacrificed your identity and your life to save your friend’s--”

Lena blasted him with an energy beam.

“Shut up you creepy.”

The God barely moved and now he wasn’t happy. “Oh, that’s what I get for helping--”

“Helping?! You almost killed her!”

Lena flew quickly to him, tackling Eros down by his waist. She didn’t waste time; she punched him repeatedly once she had him pinned down.

“You took her powers out, you drove her to the edge of a building, and you are _helping_ her?!” Every word was punctuated with a punch. Lena wanted to finish him especially after seeing him smiling victoriously.

“You’re feeling it, aren’t you?”

Her suit somehow vanished but Lena kept beating the God.

“The anger,” his nose bled, “the wrath, the rage,” then his left eye started to swell, “the power and the pain. You are feeling it all, aren’t you?”

His arrogance made Lena’s blood boiled. She didn’t notice how punching him hard was hurting her own hand, but she wasn’t feeling the physical pain coming from inflicting pain in others.

“You feel love too. That’s why you jumped. That’s why it hurt when--”

“Shut up!”

One last punch before activating her suit again (Lena would look into what made her suit deactivated without her signal later) and taking one of his arrows.

“I should kill you.”

Eros spat his blood. “It wouldn’t be the first time you do that because of her, would it?”

He laughed again and it was so, so annoying that Lena decided to get the hell out there before he played mind tricks with her again. She came back to the spot she left Kara only to see Sara Lance and Batwoman waiting for someone.

“Where’s Lena?”

Oh.

She took a deep breath. Lena was no better than Kara now, was she?

“Miss Luthor is on an elevator as we speak.”

Black Steel handed the arrow to Kara. “For you. Miss Luthor asked me to take one and bring to you.”

“Weren’t you the one who killed her brother?”

Why was Kate Kane here annoying her again? Didn’t this woman have something better to do?

“Don’t mind Batwoman.”

“I don’t, Lady of Steel. Now if you excuse me.”

She flew out of there before Kara could say anything else. But she did hear the blonde asking her to wait. She would if she didn’t have to come back to the L-Corp building to leave the building from the front door as Lena.

—

Lena’s words were in her mind.

The idea that someone else whose life would be somehow affected if Kara’s life suffered a major change. Before the blonde could end her line of thought, she had fallen only to be rescued by Black Steel who was nowhere near.

Right?

So maybe… what changed in Kara affected Black Steel, as if they were tangled?

“Chewing nail is a bad habit and you should know that,” Kate’s voice woke her up from her thoughts.

“Oh, right. I know that.”

But soon Kara’s thoughts wandered again. Black Steel’s suit was powered by the Sun so maybe that was an unconscious choice the woman made because of Supergirl?

“Lena is making the device from Eros’ arrow while the Legends are after him.”

“Mhm.”

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm? Oh, yes. I’m just… I thought I was going to die,” she can see Kate’s worried in the woman’s eyes. “But then Black Steel appeared literally out of nowhere and saved me.”

“Okay, so what?”

“So what? Kate, what did Lena say about quantum entanglement?!”

Why the short-haired woman wasn’t excited about what Kara was implying?

“Right. Anyway. Soon the cure to whatever is going on with you will be ready.”

Somehow Kara didn’t care for that. Somehow, she felt it was okay to be powerless. At least she was hopeful about love after so time.

The blonde had tried making things work with William, but they weren’t a good match; he didn’t really count then. James didn’t count either. Mon-El did even if what they had was borderline toxic. Kara had lost her hopes of finding love again after him. But now maybe she had a chance?

She could be projecting a lot. After all, last time she checked (which was never, but whatever) she was straight.

“Also, you need to eat.”

Kate threw her a candy that she almost didn’t catch. It was a Snickers.

Before she could eat the candy, Caitlin step in saying Lena was waiting for her at the lab wing. Kara sighed and went over there. The raven-haired woman wasn’t working anymore. Actually, she was holding a device that looked a lot with a modern injection that didn’t need a needle.

“I finished the--”

Kara saw Lena’s right hand.

“What happened to your hand?!”

Lena hid her hand behind her back. “Nothing.”

Kara approached her and pulled the woman’s hand; Lena’s knuckles were colorful — red, purple — and her hand seemed a little swollen.

“That isn’t nothing, Lena! _What_ happened?!”

Her heart was thumping loudly inside her chest. The blonde was worried.

“I, uh,” Lena cleared her throat, “I punched Eros. After you fell.”

“ _What?!_ ” The hero squealed. “Lena! He’s a god! He could’ve killed you for that!”

She saw her former best friend rolled her eye.

“What was I supposed to do, Kara?! He made you fall! You could’ve died if Black Steel wasn’t there to catch you. I was angry at him, okay? Plus, he deserved after taking your powers from you and trying to kill you.”

Kara swallowed thickly; Lena’s voice sounded so vulnerable and true. The woman was genuine when saying the God deserved some kind of punishing from messing with Kara’s life.

_I'm not a villain. You shouldn't have treated me like one._

Her eyes teared a bit.

_For a friend like you, there are no boundaries._

Instead of crying or apologizing _again_ for saying and on a small level treating Lena like a villain, Kara allowed herself to feel her emotions and hugged the raven-haired woman. Yes, the blonde could have easily refrained herself, but she soon realized she didn’t want to.

For a split moment, Kara thought she had made a mistake or, worse, overstep a line, However, before the blonde distanced herself from Lena, she felt a pair of arms embracing her tightly.

“Thank you for trying to save me.” She said quietly still hugging Lena.

It was like her heart had doubled its size especially after being squeezed harder in Lena’s embrace. Kara could cry of happiness. She hadn’t realized how much she missed hugging her best friend. The blonde hadn’t noticed how empty she had been feeling since their fallout.

“Always.”

Lena whispered. That was all it took to make Kara feel hopeful again. She felt full, _complete_ , but most important, the blonde felt happy.

After some while, Lena cleared her throat and handed Kara the device. “Just apply on your skin.” Kara nodded. “I’ll give these two to Caitlin.”

The raven-haired woman left the room, and Kara took the opportunity to smile brightly. They were going to be fine. For real this time. Kara could feel it in her bones. What she couldn’t feel was the mild pain she should had felt while applying the shot to regain her powers. Maybe it wasn’t the type of device that caused pain, who knew?

She was just so happy to question why she didn’t feel the pain of getting an injection shot.

But it worked. Her powers were back.

Plus, Sara and the Legends sent Eros back to his time. Or something like that, she didn’t know the specifics. What mattered was that the mess had ended. The Legends went back to their things and Kara went back to DEO with Lena.

She was so happy that when she invited Lena to a Game Night and the Luthor said no, Kara didn’t feel sad. With time, things would be like they used to be — the two of them back as friends; a Luthor and a Super.

In the meantime, she had an armored hero to reach out to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that a... true love's... hug? Oh yeah. Is Kara that dense? Yes. Maybe she will fall in love with Black Steel? Who knows?!
> 
> I didn't particularly like the end but I'm feeling a bit anxious over the covid-19 news and the fact that my boss still making me go to work. Anyway. I'm going to take some time to update because I need to organize what I'll do next! 
> 
> Be safe and if you can stay at home, please do.


	9. Teenage Nightmare.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looked around only to see a bunch of teenagers wearing gym clothes and looking rather panicked. Then she took her phone out of her raincoat pocket and unblocked it to access the front camera. What she saw almost made her drop her phone.
> 
> “Oh my God!” 
> 
> Kara was a teenager. Lena was a teenager. Everyone in the gym was a teenager. What, why? What happened?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy yourselves like I enjoyed writing this one. The songs mentioned (whether by name or not) in this chapter are (by order of mention) _Dress_ (Taylor Swift), _Beside You_ (Olive James [yes, the man who sings _Head Above Water_ ]), _Adore You_ (Harry Styles) and _I Guess That's Why Tell Called It The Blues_ (Alessia Cara;original by Elton John [that was the song that inspired me to write this chapter!]). All other songs don't matter so feel free to imagine that whatever song you like the most is playing!
> 
> Oh, a gentle reminder that English is not my native language and this fic is not beta.

Kara was _not_ stalking Lena. The gym where the woman was going almost every day was in one of the streets Kara had to pass by to go to CatCo. So what the blonde had to leave her home early because this path was a bit longer than the previous one? So what she could simply fly to her work and trick everyone around her when she got at work?

Her former friend wasn’t talking to her after what happened on their mission with the Legends. Yes, she wrongly assumed their friendship would heal faster because of what happened, but it didn’t and that was hurting her.

Lena stopped trying to say how Kara should train Ruby, yes. However, she wasn’t watching the girl training anymore. When was the time to pick up the teen, Lena would show up, bid goodbye and leave with Ruby. No talking, no looking at Kara. Nothing.

So, perhaps, Kara was getting sad and desperate. 

Which may explain why she entered the gym. As sneaky as she could be, she approached the woman who was training what it seemed to be a more aggressive take on self-defense class. She had to restrain herself to not jump on the fighting master when the man took the raven-haired woman down with a loud thud on the mattress.

Kara subtly lowered her glasses to x-ray Lena’s body making sure the woman hadn’t broken any ribs. She was fine, yes, but that didn’t ease the blonde’s restlessness. 

However, when Lena used her right foot to destabilize the man giving her a chance to get up, Kara realized that maybe she was underestimating the woman who was quick to assault her master back. 

She lost track of time by watching the woman training because she was entranced by the sight; that was somehow captivating. Andrea was calling her and she was hearing her phone going off but all of sudden Kara was glued to her spot. Lena was approaching. Even though the raven-haired didn’t seem pleased by spotting Kara there, she was still walking towards the blonde.

“What are you doing here?” She asked once she was close enough.

Lena was… Kara couldn’t stop staring at the woman, which was odd, to say the least. How could someone look so gorgeous sweating, panting a little and with some loose strands of their braided her stitched in their forehead? She had to swallow thick.

“You know the DEO has a partnership with L-Corp, right? The DEO offers self-defense classes to L-Corp employees. You should take their self-defense classes. They are way less violent than that.” Also, Lena would spend more time at the DEO. Which, by the looks of it, she didn’t want to since she rolled her eyes at the suggestion.

“First, it’s Krav Maga, that’s why is more aggressive. Second, have you taken some time to update yourself in what has changed on this Earth?” Kara was about to answer that, awkwardly ready to admit that she did not update herself when Lena resumed speaking. “I was the one who came up with this partnership idea. Well, not _me_ , the Lena from Earth-Prime. Anyway, I need to shower and you need to go to work, I guess.”

It was confusing for Kara how they seemingly were at square one. They hugged what, four days ago, and now Lena was giving Kara the cold shoulder again like she hadn’t said she would _always_ save Kara’s life? What was happening after all?

The woman started walking to the locker room direction, and Kara walked along with her knowing she wasn’t allowed there. She quickened her pace and stopped in front of Lena blocking her way.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Kara didn’t know what exactly she was questioning Lena for; she felt she deserved an explanation but didn’t know what for. Stammering a little, she gained time to think.

“Why did you kill Lex?” 

Both of them were caught off guard. Kara didn’t think she wanted to know this but she would be lying if she wasn’t questioning Lena’s motives to murder her own brother, and Lena had said she had done it because of Kara and their friends.

This time Lena was the one stammering.

“I…” She looked away, and Kara wanted to take one step further to show Lena some emotional support, but that act of gentleness would complicate things even more. “The first time I did, I didn’t want to. He was my brother, the only family I had left but he was also a psychopath that was doing awful things.

“I knew that sending him to jail wouldn’t suffice. He had to die. I also knew Supergirl and her friends wouldn’t do it. So I did. And for one second or two, I felt sad but also relieved because he wouldn’t threaten anymore the people I cared about.”

Kara wanted to cry but she also wanted to ask Lena to stop talking. She didn’t want to hear any of that anymore. However, Lena, in control of her emotions and voice, kept talking.

“I killed him to protect you and your friends, Kara. And what for? For only to discover I was being played by the same people I was trying to protect! You… you and Supergirl both deceived me so, many, times, by saying how I wasn’t wrong for helping Lex because he was my family, that I shouldn’t feel guilty about being a good sister and keeping that a secret.

“You two made me believed I could have it all. Supergirl had these mottos about hope, help, and compassion for all and stronger together, and I believed her. I tried to have hope and compassion for all while trying to help my brother and everyone else. I believed that we, me and him, and me and _you_ , could be stronger together, and what for? What for, Kara?”

Unlike their confrontation in the Fortress of Solitude, Lena was in complete control of her emotions. Kara, however, was barely hanging. She was trying her best to not break down and cry. Because yes, she had given Lena hope, she had become a hero to Lena. 

Then, she had made Lena feel like a fool.

“I had chosen you over my _brother_ based off on lies. I killed him at that moment because I had chosen your safety over the chance of redeeming him because I had finally accepted that he was unredeemable. I wanted to be wrong, I hoped to be wrong because you showed me how to be hopeful, especially if I did good. I wished I could make him a better man because you showed me that was possible, but not when it came to Lex. So I killed him.

“Then I planned to kill him again, but--”

What was a whispered one-sided conversation turned into a surprised yelp when Kara interrupted Lena by yanking the woman to the next wall. She did her best to shield Lena from the weird colorful energy light that she saw coming in the gym.

The light was intense, almost blinding, and was warm. No, not warm, _hot_. The kind of heat that made people felt their skin burning. For Kara, it felt like being back at Krypton on the hottest day of Summer. She closed her eyes and pressed her body further on Lena’s when the heat from the light started hurting her.

After a loud annoying sound, the light disappeared.

Kara had barely the time to move away from Lena; the woman pushed her. She was about to complain and maybe questioned what Lena meant by saying ‘the first time’ she killed Lex, but she was overwhelmed by pitched voices complaining and in utterly shocked.

“Kara?” Someone called her. She sounded like Lena, but not quite. When she looked at the voice’s direction, she gaped. What, was, happening, right now?

In front of Kara was a teenager wearing the same training clothes Lena was wearing, her hair braided the same way. The more she stared, the more she found similarities between this teen and her friend; like the small scar beneath her right eyebrow. However, she looked taller than Lena.

“Lena?” Her own voice sounded weird, more pitched. 

She looked around only to see a bunch of teenagers wearing gym clothes and looking rather panicked. Then she took her phone out of her raincoat pocket and unblocked it to access the front camera. What she saw almost made her drop her phone.

“Oh my God!” 

Kara was a teenager. Lena was a teenager. Everyone in the gym was a teenager. What, why? What happened?!

“I think we should go to DEO,” Lena said not-so calmly.

—

The last thing Lena needed was being trapped in her teen body. However, the real nightmare was being near all the Superfriends. All of them received Brainy’s message to go to the DEO to try solving what happened.

To not snap out was a hard task especially after telling Kara why she killed her own brother. Talking to Kara has proven to be tiresome because they were walking in circles. When it wasn’t Lena the one going back and reminding how betrayed she had felt, Kara was the one bringing the subject up. And now she had to stick around with the blonde if she wanted to return to her actual body.

“Oh, my, God, what the hell happened?!” It was the first thing Alex said when she saw Kara and Lena, following by, “Wait, Lena is now taller than you?” Of course, Alex Danvers would be capable of mocking her and Kara at the same time.

“We have more pressing things to discuss and to solve.”

However, Alex found time to take a photo of teen Kara wearing the clothes of adult Kara. Lena rolled her eyes at that.

“Mom’s going to _love_ this,” Kara whined and she took a deep breath trying to calm herself. “Done it. Now, what did you guys find out?”

“Nothing much, I’m afraid,” Brainy answered, concern written all over his features. He worried that they were dealing with tech that the DEO has never encountered before. “We got some residual energy readings from the time all the gym-goers were turned into teenagers, but there is no data about the type of energy we are dealing with.”

She quietly watched J’onn approached the DEO computers with his arms crossed. 

“You mean that the DEO never dealt with this form of energy before?”

“That’s precise.”

“But is it really alien energy?”

Brainy raised his left index finger as he circled his chair to sit down. Lena approached his chair standing right behind it.

“I knew you would ask that. I run some tests on the residual energy and yes, it is alien but it’s unknown.” She looked from Brainy to J’onn and then to Brainy again.

“Maybe someone altered it?” Oh, God, she hated how she sounded so insecure and unsure. It was like being in her teenage body made her act like the teen she used to be, but minus a friend who was willing to make her blossomed as her own person. “And if someone altered it, then it must be a weapon and not an alien.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s actually plausible,” suddenly a wave of relief washed over her when Alex kind of agreed with her, which made her felt stupid and childish. “Do you think you can cross-reference what you’ve got today with something similar in the DEO database?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Let us know if anything comes up, okay?” Alex looked at Dreamer. “Do you think you can handle any emergencies while we figure out how to revert that?”

“Yes, I--” Kara cut off Dreamer, and Lena knew what was coming. She braced herself for the blonde’s complaints. 

“Wait, I still have my powers! I can go outside and help--”

“And how on Earth would you do that, Kara? You look and sound like your teen self because you are a teenager right now.”

Lena lowered her eyes but she got a glimpse of J’onn looking away and Dreamer mumbling something about the Danvers sister bickering a lot these past few weeks. It was awkward to watch the sisters arguing, yes.

“Brainy can set me with an image inducer! Black Steel has one! That’s how she appears to the public without revealing her identity.” She almost looked up at the mention of her hero persona, but that would make her look suspicious, right?

However, through the computer screen, she saw Brainy staring at her knowingly which made her blush hard. He was from the future but it was such a distant future. He couldn’t know she and Black Steel were the same person, could he?

He went back typing while the sisters walk away from the main room to continue to fight. Then he cleared his throat.

“Maybe we should get Acrata to help. And Black Steel as well.”

Lena almost choked at that and though she wanted to question if these many heroes were really necessary when Dreamer was the powerful one, she remained quiet.

“I mean, no crisis will happen while Kara is a teenage, but yeah, if things get complicated, help would be welcomed,” Lena could only hope nothing complicated happened while they were looking like this.

Speaking of it, she had left her bag in the gym with her ID and phone and she needed to call Sam to address the current problem. Shyly she poked Brainy.

“I need to make a call,” he eyed her questioningly, “to my boss. I need to call my boss.” She explained herself. Had people already forgotten Lena was a simple employee at L-Corp now and she owned an explanation on why she couldn’t go to work to her boss?

Brainy gave her his phone and she soon left the room to find a more private spot to take a photo of her to send to Sam as proof of why she wouldn’t go to work today and why she wouldn’t pick up Ruby from school to take her to the DEO.

—

This was the coolest thing that has ever happened since she got her powers. She’s gotten to see an alien weapon side effect. She never thought that would happen so quickly, but here it was: her aunt Lena, who she met when the woman was nineteen or twenty years old, and Kara looking like teenagers. So _cool_.

“So Kara was at the gym too when that…” she pointed at the two of them, “happened?” Kara nodded sheepishly. Ruby wondered why the blonde was acting shy about being at the same gym that her aunt was. “Do you guys feel like you’re in some kind of movie like 17 Again?”

They looked at each other.

“No?” Kara said.

“Yes,” Lena answered in a heartbeat. Her aunt was so tired that it was obvious even for Ruby who just got there.

“My mom made me watched that movie. She used to have a crush on Zac Efron,” Kara muffled a laugh, and Lena looked away trying hard not to laugh. “Anyway, where is Supergirl? She’s late for my practice and she’s never late.”

“Ahh, she is at… she, uh, she…”

Kara fidgeted with her glasses. Why all of sudden the blonde looked close to self-combust?

“She is dealing with this situation as we speak. She is after leads, anything that can help the DEO narrowing down the suspect list.” Even as a teen her aunt sounded reassuring and mature. Well, of course, she would sound like an adult since she was still one. It was odd to see the teen self of Lena acting like the Lena Luthor Ruby knows and loves.

Even as a nineteen or so years old, Lena was mature enough to look older than she actually was. She could have fooled Sam, yes, but she didn’t fool Ruby. Lena was as much of a kid as Ruby when they met. They bonded over their favorite candies and sweets, after all. For her, it was easy and simple liking Lena.

“Well, I’m going to change and head to the training room to practice a little.”

They let her leave wishing her a good training and such. She took her power-dampener bracelet off the moment she left the room she was in and took a deep breath to calm her senses down. The way her powers took over her senses still overwhelmed her. She understood the need of using a power-dampener even though taking it off would sensory overdrive her.

Ruby was training hard to be able to control her powers. That day was not today, however.

_“Not that my opinion matters, but I think you should tell her. And Sam,”_ she heard Lena talking. She should stop listening to their conversations and she would if she could only focus enough on control her super hearing.

_“Tell them what?”_

_“Really, Kara? Are you really playing the dumb one now?”_

Kara sighing hurt Ruby’s eardrums. For her, it was an annoying sound.

_“I… I can’t. That would put them in harm ways.”_

_“Jesus, Kara. They are Kryptonians just like you. I’m sure they can handle being in harm. Also, if something ever happened to Kara Danvers, what are you or your sister going to tell them?”_

Ruby broke the lock of her locker when she heard Lena saying Kara was a Kryptonian just like her and her mother.

“What the fuck?!”

—

This was already getting out of hand and kind of ridiculous, if she was being honest.

Yes, it was nice making fun of her baby sister for looking like a teenager, but Kara was now bored and hungry. The main issue was that if adult Kara could bankrupt an all-you-can-eat place, teenage Kara could only be described as a bottomless pit.

Lena, on the other hand, was strangely easy to deal with. Even after calling her an asshole for not forgiving her. Alex still thought the woman (now teen) as an asshole for treating her sister as trash. But at least Lena was behaving well. 

“You owe me, Kara,” she stated before handing the takeout food to her sister. “I’m serious. I can’t pay for your food anymore.”

The blonde teen just shrugged. Suddenly, Alex was hit with the feeling that the longer they stayed in this form, more they would act like their teen selves. Which explained why Lena _raised her hand_ to speak.

Where were Brainy to see this?

“Yes, Lena?” She blushed and lowered her eyes down. Oh, great. Now Alex has to deal with an insecure Lena Luthor.

“L-Corp owes Big Belly Burger. You could… you could talk to Sam and ask her if she can, uh, I don’t know, sponsor? Kara’s hunger?” She raised a brow when her sister got up from her seat to sit close to Lena.

“You _owe_ Big Belly Burger?! Since when?!”

Yeah, no, Alex wasn’t going to deal with her sister looking like an excited golden retriever scaring a child that probably was afraid of dogs. It was weirdly too cute to see the two of them interacting as teenagers.

“No, I don’t--”

“You know what, Lena? That’s a good idea. I’m going to call Sam,” she voiced loud enough to get her sister’s attention. Only Alex knew how fifteen years old Kara could come off a little too strong. “You guys also need clothing, so I’m going to ask if she can help with that too.”

Fifteen years old Kara was trying to find her voice and her personality among the humans. When her sister reached that age, she was overconfident and too talkative which scared people away. Now, Alex had no idea how Lena was when she was fifteen, but Kara would probably scare the Luthor regardless.

Before she could leave the room, Brainy appeared at the door, and by his features, Alex knew he had bad news.

“May I speak with you in private?”

She looked the two girls who were talking about food and Big Belly Burger and left the room with Brainy.

“What?”

“I was able to cross-reference the energy with the data we have, and I…”

Stalling and stammering were not traits Brainy had, and Alex worried the situation was worse than it seemed.

“This doesn’t look good, Alex,” he walked to the main room and took his seat. She followed suit but didn’t sit on the empty chair on Brainy’s right side. The data was projected on the bigger screen.

She read fast trying to process all the intel quickly. However, reading that the energy partially matched the energy from something called Motherbox was bad, but no worse than reading that there were no Motherboxes on Earth-Prime.

“I’m sorry, did I read this right?” Her head started to hurt.

“Yes.”

Alex refrained herself for a few seconds. She needed at least some seconds before everything exploded on their heads. She also needed a drink, yes, but that she couldn’t get here.

“And what this means, exactly?”

The red-haired woman braced herself for Brainy’s words. She so did not want to hear what he was about to say.

“It means that the multiverse is healing and that we possibly have visitors from another Earth,” the man said visibly worried, “but, even if this Motherbox belonged to our Universe, that would mean bad news, Alex.” She closed her eyes for a few seconds; then after opening them, she looked at Brainy, waiting for him to tell more. “Motherboxes come from a planet called Apokolips.”

“That sounds _adorable_ ,” her voice sounded more bitter than sarcastic. “Before you asked, yes, that was sarcasm.” She rubbed her temples when a mild headache hit her. “Do you have some good information, like you found where this lightning gun that turns adults into teenagers is because I could really use some good news right now.”

Brainy typed some more.

“Ah, yes, I do have good news, however, you of all people will not like it.”

Oh, great, what now?

—

She needed to take a shower as soon as possible because the feeling of being dirty and the itching skin were making herself aware especially when there was a clingy Kryptonian around. No, Kara hadn’t said anything about Lena’s smell, but it was a matter of time, she was sure of that.

Also, Lena didn’t want to be near to Kara right now. Not when she was trying her best to hold on to some sense of adulthood, which was getting harder the late it got. In addition to feeling like a helpless teen that wanted at least one of her best friends back, Kara was looking at her in a strange way.

The woman (teen) wanted to go to her new place where she could be alone with her books and movies. Lena wasn’t needed here; she could wait for the DEO personnel to solve this in the comfort of her house.

“I’m hungry again,” she rolled her eyes. After suggesting Alex should talk to Sam about how Big Belly Burger was owned by L-Corp, they were gifted with an inhuman amount of food. Lena ate some fries because she loved French fries while Kara was inhaling the food.

“Do you know how many burgers you have eaten?” The blonde nodded negatively. “Ten. You ate ten cheeseburgers bacon. How can you be hungry after that?”

Kara shrugged. “I’m bored. When I’m bored, I get hungry.”

She furrowed her brow. “You get hungry after using your powers a lot and you get hungry when you’re bored?” The blonde nodded sheepishly. “That doesn’t make any sense. Boredom doesn’t make people hungry, Kara.”

Her former friend sighed and decided to float few inches from her seat. Yes, she was bored too, but she wasn’t hungry. If the DEO staff gave her a book, she would have all the entertainment she needed.

“What doesn’t make sense is why we are here, basically locked in.”

Kara then pretended to be swimming on air, moving her arms as if she was fighting the water while hovering higher. Now she was floating a few feet from her seat. Lena tried her best to hide her smile by licking her lips and biting her lower lip, but the scene was too cute and funny for her to resist. She smiled softly at the sight of her former doofus friend being silly.

“I think they see us as liabilities.”

“Really, why?”

“Because they know us,” she stated simply. Not that her, feeling all her past insecurities and lack of self-confidence returning, would do anything to jeopardize what the DEO was doing, but Lena knew her adult self was too stubborn for her own good. Kara looked at her utterly confused. She sighed before resume speaking, “we are stubborn.”

The blonde came down after hearing that. “Speak for yourself. I’m not stubborn.”

“You wanted to go Supergirl-ing as a teenage girl.” Kara puffed air through her mouth.

“I did not! I mean, I suggested using an image inducer, okay?! If there’s a setting that can be used as clothing, then the device must have a setting to make people look and sound older. I want to help, that’s it.”

Lena looked at her not knowing what to say. She wanted to go home or at least to be with Sam and Ruby.

Her confidence wasn’t real or tangible, not anymore at least. When she had Andrea and Kara at her side, she felt confident, empowered; however, she was lonely right now. Yes, Kara was here with her, but after everything that happened, Lena was frightened to let the blonde in again.

Maybe that’s why it was easier for her to interact with Supergirl when she was Black Steel. There was no string attached, no hurtful past. Only a hero and a vigilante working together and chatting afterward.

She missed how simple her friendship with Kara was, how could she opened up about what was troubling her with the blonde, how she could have no filter because Kara would never judge her and she didn’t. Supergirl, on the other hand, had judged Lena, had treated her like another Luthor, like a villain. So what was the truth? Kara’s unbreakable trust in Lena’s inner goodness or Supergirl’s opinion on her being a villain?

Which she was, of course; heroes don’t kill, at least not for personal reasons. They don’t deceive their relatives into believing there are on their side only to murder them with an energy blast. Heroes don’t feel lighter after killing someone.

Lena did. She hadn’t felt lighter after shooting Lex twice. Back then, she was naïve enough to think she could save the soul of her brother. If she had come from light, then she could share some of her light with him. However, she had misheard her brother; Lex never said he had come from darkness but from poison. The problem never was that he was in the darkness, but that he alone was toxic, and people usually discarded what is toxic. 

When she finally realized that it was almost too late. At least for Kara and her friends to stop him. But it wasn’t too late for Lena. She did what had to be done, and when she killed him again, she did for her. She did because she needed to set herself free from his toxic and manipulative behavior.

She didn’t regret it as she had before. Lena just wanted to distance herself from the mess his brother made. That’s why she named Sam the new CEO after rebranding Luthorcorp to L-Corp.

However, every night she would question herself about her deeds. Without a book in her hands, she was questioning herself right now. What was she doing of her life, why was so hard for her to forgive Kara when it was obvious for her that she missed her former friend?

Lena needed to get out of here. When she got up from her seat, the door opened revealing a whole lot of adults. There were Brainy, Alex, J’onn, Kelly, and Sam. Ruby was there too, waving happily to Lena and Kara, who waved back excitedly.

“Lena?! Is that you?” Someone called her and soon the person revealed themselves. It was Andrea on her Acrata suit.

She knew Andrea was Acrata because she had her memories from their past Earth intact, but she supposedly didn’t know that on Earth-Prime.

“Do you know her?” Kara sounded unamused for some strange reason.

Her other former friend took the mask covering her eyes. “It’s me, Andrea,” she furrowed her brow. Shouldn’t secret identities suppose to be secret? She glanced at Kara who seemed displeased by Andrea’s reveal. “What happened to you?”

“I, uh, I was hit by some sort of de-aging light…” she looked at Brainy and J’onn. “What, what are you doing here?” before she could start fidgeting with the hem of her pants and lowered her eyes, Andrea approached her and held Lena’s hands in hers.

“I’m here to help. You jump, I jump, right?”

She nodded sheepishly not hearing Kara snorting and mimicking retching faces. She felt foolish; Lena knew how gullible she in her adolescence. All it took to let Andrea in again was their phrase and the feeling of being alone and scared. She had to come back to her actual body soon.

And although she wanted that more than she wanted to let people in again, she was close to hug her friend. If Kara hadn’t coughed out loud, she would have hugged Andrea with the same strength she had hugged her friend when her father died. Kara’s coughing made Lena realized she almost made a mistake.

“So, why you all are here? Do you guys solve the problem? Lena and I are going to be adults again?” Kara asked them, sounding thrilled by the idea of finally return to her adult body. Again Lena felt stupid for finding her friend incredibly endearing.

“Well, we…” Alex started talking looking at the two teens. “We know where to find the weapon that did that to you, but…” the woman scratched her neck before adjusting her hair.

Kelly stepped in. “We will need your help because whoever has this weapon, they are somehow enrolled at the Katherine Johnson High School, so you two will attend there too.”

Lena blinked processing the information. Whoever had the weapon was now studying at the same school Ruby goes. The same school that now had Kelly Olsen as school psychologist and counselor.

“Sorry, you are saying that we are stuck in these bodies until you figure out who has the weapon, miss…” she closed her eyes feeling dumb for almost calling Kelly ‘miss Olsen’. “Kelly?”

“Yes,” she could feel the panic rising; other people noticed too. Kelly told her to breathe in and out slowly while Andrea held her hands again, massaging them. Lena also felt a hand squeezing her shoulder. She let Kara approached because what could she do right now besides panicking?

“Hey, Lena, look at me. Look at me, honey,” Andrea called her. “I know this is hard for you, but you won’t be alone, okay?” She looked at her friend. Andrea was her first anchor outside the Luthor household. Therefore, she used to shadow the girl everywhere. While the other was outgoing and carefree, Lena was uptight and scared of the outside world.

She nodded again.

“You are staying with me and Ruby, Lee. We’ve got your back,” Sam’s playfully wink made a subtle small appeared at the corner of Lena’s lips.

“What about me?” Kara asked looking expectantly to Sam. Lena furrowed her brow at that. Why was Kara looking at Sam and not Alex?

“You’re going to be--”

Kara cut her own sister off.

“I actually think it’s better if we stay together. Also, Alex takes too long in the bathroom, so I would be late for school like every day.” What was going on and why was Kelly, Sam, and Alex exchanging looks? “I know your new house has plenty of bathrooms, Sam.”

Sam coughed out a laugh. “Well, I… if Alex agrees, it’s okay for me…”

Kara _and_ Ruby stared at Alex with puppy eyes. Lena didn’t want Kara anywhere near her but it was clear she had already lost this fight when a disarmed Alex agreed with the idea.

“Yes! Sleepover!” Ruby cheered and raised her hand asking for high five from Kara and her. The idea of having a sleepover with Ruby was nice, so she high fived the girl. However, the idea of spending time with Kara was awful.

“Right, so here’s what we think so far,” Kelly resumed speaking explaining their plan so far.

—

Sam regretted almost immediately having Kara Danvers at her house. The girl could eat. It felt like she and Ruby were competing to see who ate more; the scene was so gross that the woman lost her appetite.

“Time to go to bed.”

Lena raised her head and rest her pencil on the dining table when Ruby and Kara complained. The girl has been writing information about Kiera Doherty while Kara, who would pose off as Linda Lee, was playing games with Ruby.

“May I finish this, ma’am-- Sam?” She could see how troubling was for Lena not to be her teen self completely. 

When she met Lena, the young Luthor was still a teenager but she was confident and sure of herself. Sam understood a lot could happen in four, five years, and she never asked her friend about her childhood. However, maybe she should after seeing Lena displaying so much self-doubt.

“Yes, sure, go ahead,” she turned to Kara. “Don’t you think you should do the same, Kara? Lena is creating a backstory for this Kiera persona. Maybe you should do the same for Linda Lee.”

Kara beamed at her. “It’s okay, Sam. I have everything planned!”

She smiled back at the teen. Good thing Alex told her what she needed to know about the blonde; who Kara was at fifteen, what she was trying to do by being so overconfident and such.

“Okay. I’m giving you the benefit of doubt then.” She went back to the kitchen to do the dishes. Sam really regretted having Kara with them because now she couldn’t use her super-speed to do the dishes. “Oh, before I forget. Ruby will be sleeping with me while Lena stays in Ruby’s room and Kara stays at the guest room.”

By the corner of her eyes she saw Lena dropping her shoulders in relief.

“If you guys stay like that till Friday, then you can have your sleepover.” She continued before her daughter and Kara could whine about that. The two girls cheered and resumed playing their game.

She had to turn off the TV to make Ruby and Kara go to sleep. Ruby wasn’t exactly a handful of a daughter; never was. However, fifteen years old Kara brought a side of her daughter she rarely saw — the mildly ill-behaved one.

After saying goodnight to Kara, she went back to her room to fetch something Lena asked Acrata to get her.

She appeared in Lena’s current room. The teen was reading one of Ruby’s books, one written by Becky Albertalli.

“Look who’s finally here,” she said showing an old teddy bear. Sam could never judge a fifteen old for needing their stuffed animal to feel safe, especially when the teenager was Lena who clearly has dealt with so much as a child and a teen.

“Miss Pizzly! Thank you, Sam! Tomorrow I’ll call Andrea and thank her too.”

Adult Lena may have done questionable things like working with her brother only to kill him in the end but seeing her friend vulnerable like this made Sam questioned herself about what happened to Lena. How such a sweet teenager had become someone filled with distrust and bitterness.

When she came back to take over L-Corp, Lena told her she was the only person she could blindly trust. Sam thought her friend was being overdramatic but no. Something happened along the way and the woman didn’t know what. Whatever it was, she was sure Lena didn’t deserve.

She kissed Lena goodnight and left the room.

Tomorrow was a big day for Kara and Lena who were going to work undercover. Sam still couldn’t believe all adults thought that was a good idea. At least they didn’t involve her daughter in this mess.

—

Kelly initially thought that working with teenagers would be whether too easy or too hard since they were not her target clientele. She had specialized in trauma, post-stress traumatic disorder and such. She not only had forgotten the losses these teenagers have faced, but she also forgot that being a teen could be traumatizing and stressing on its own.

After what happened on a month or so ago involving that kid Josh, she had always some student looking for her to talk about what happened. Josh was there every day as well since he came back to school.

He didn’t want to be transferred and since he didn’t hurt anyone, the school decided he could only come back if he talked to the school psychologist every day.

Besides him, she was seeing the girls every day since they started to attend school as part of the plan to catch whoever de-age them and everyone at the gym. Talking to Lena Luthor every day made Kelly realized they forgot some important details; the fact that the girl had never attended to a public school was one of the details they should have accounted for.

The fact that Kara had the same control over her powers she had when she was actually a teenager was the other detail they forgot. According to Alex, Kara took over three years to master and control her powers fully since she didn’t use them.

In addition to that, there was Samantha and Ruby Arias and Andrea Rojas who were involved with the plan but didn’t know Kara was Supergirl. Which complicated things when Brainy asked Samantha to lend him her power-dampener for a few hours. He gave her the excuse he wanted to improve the device (and that hurt Lena’s feelings since she was the mind behind the device) when he actually needed it to make one for Kara, who now reluctantly wore a necklace with her initial for pendant.

Kelly didn’t share with the girls that every student that went to class with them thought they were an item since the pendant had _Kara_ ’s initial and not Linda’s while Lena had chosen Kiera as her name.

They didn’t need another weight on their shoulders. Especially Lena (or Kiera) that was avoiding being near to Kara (or Linda).

“How you girls are?”

She asked them, showing a gentle smile. They were stuck in their teen body since past Tuesday and today was Monday. In-between, whoever had the de-aging weapon struck again yesterday turning everyone who was at the National City Central Bank in teenagers.

Lena shrugged. “I’m fine, I guess. Public school is weird and I don’t know how I didn’t get food poisoning yet because the food here is disgusting.”

Kelly saw Kara nodding.

“And you are setting to the teen life?”

“Yup!” Kara answered this one. “It’s easy when we have done this before.”

Lena mumbled something they didn’t listen, and Kelly didn’t pressure her to speak aloud. However, she had a guess about what the teen said.

“Right. I think I have good news,” Kelly announced seeing Lena’s face light up. “The school is getting another Homecoming dance since the first one didn’t go well. This one will be simpler and with many more teachers and parents present at the dance.”

Now it was Kara who looked excited. She resumed speaking. “We think if we gather all the staff and parents in one place, the person will appear.”

Lena raised her hand. They talked about this before, but she continued doing it, and the woman had a lot in her plate right now to deal with an insecure faux-teenager that would hopefully return to her adult body soon.

“And what if they don’t appear? I don’t want to be a teenager forever, miss--” the teen grunted quietly, “ _Kelly_.”

“If they don’t appear, we will make them appear.”

The bell ringed before the girls could ask what Kelly meant. What she meant was that Supergirl would be used as bait; Brainy had finally set up an image inducer for Kara to appear her actual age.

“Ah, the dance will be announced today. It’s going to be this Saturday,” she said before they left her office. Kara squeaked at the same time Lena grimaced. 

After they left for good a co-worker entered her office. “Olsen, why these girls are always here? Are they already in couple’s therapy?” The man joked. George had a thick mustache and a round face that made him looked friendly and harmless. However, the Math teacher cracked the most absurd (although never mean) jokes about his students.

Kiera and Linda took AP Calculus with him which meant they were his current target. Kelly simply laughed at his remark.

Okay, maybe it was time to share that at least with Andrea or Nia.

—

Finally, it was Saturday. Kara counted the days since Homecoming was officially announced. When she got to Sam’s house, she went to her room to choose what to wear. Of course, she changed her outfit choice since then. She would check her clothes and then decide they weren’t a good choice.

And yes, she had gone to school dances before. However, she didn’t have a power-dampener device on her that would allow her to focus only on the fun, and as for somebody who didn’t know how to dance, she was scared of hurting people when she most certainly stepped on their feet. Kara didn’t have to worry about that today.

She was also excited to share this experience with Lena. Their friendship was still shaky and the raven-haired teen was clearly doing her best to keep her distance from Kara, but little by little they were getting somewhere.

To whom Lena would comment that their AP Calculus teacher had misunderstood an advance concept if not Kara? 

Politely dishing some of their teachers became their bonding exercise. She only hoped that her friend wouldn’t put her walls up again when this mess was over, because Kara missed talking to Lena, to listen to her friend sharing a small part of her with Kara.

Ruby was the first to enter the sports court. According to Sam, the teen decided to wear the same outfit she wore the first Homecoming but with a much simpler hairdo. Kara was wearing a deep blue A-line dress and a pair of sockless Converse. Her hair was loose and a bit curled. Alex and Eliza helped her in exchange for photos of the dance.

Entering the place, Kara took in the decoration. There was no particular theme and it seemed the school reused some of the decoration of the first dance. She started to think that maybe Kelly had pressured the school board to have this dance.

“What song is that?” She asked making a face.

“What is it, _Linda_? You thought they would play Nsync or Backstreet Boys?” Lena mocked her. Kara would love to feel annoyed by that, but seeing that her best friend was warming up to her again was everything she wanted since their fallout.

Kara looked at Lena, smiling at her. Her friend was beautiful, to say the least, and it was becoming a problem for her because the blonde wouldn’t stop staring. No matter how hard she tried, Kara’s eyes would eventually fall onto Lena’s figure. How could she _not_ look at Lena Luthor when she was wearing a flowery sundress and a pair of sneakers? Her French braid made her looked soft and delicate if it was humanly possible for Lena to look softer than she looked.

“You know I prefer the ‘90s songs, Kiera.”

She had found funny how Lena chose a name Kara got used to being called because Cat wouldn’t pronounce Kara correctly for dear life, but then she remembered Lena’s middle name was Kieran and that’s why she chose it. 

While Lena’s choice was probably for the sake of keeping things easy, Kara had chosen Linda Lee to honor the Red Daughter somehow. She would always feel sad about what happened to her Russian counterpart even if she hadn’t existed in this Earth.

They watched Ruby approaching her friends.

“What do we do, now? Wait?” Lena asked looking around as if she was looking for someone.

“Yes, I guess…”

They were set. Kara had her image inducer ready for her to use when needed, Kelly was there to warn the DEO and J’onn and Alex if something came up. Andrea and Nia were here using image inducer to disguise themselves as teachers. Almost every adult person was whether a hero or a DEO agent disguised. So, yes, maybe Kelly had pressured the school board to make this dance happened.

Good thing she told her she was Supergirl before Kelly moved in with Alex. That could’ve complicated Alex’s relationship with her girlfriend, especially the day Kara flew there breaking the window, covered in blood after trying to take out Gemma Cooper alone. 

She was done with her secret ruining her meaningful relationships, and she didn’t want to damage her sister’s life more than she already had.

“We could… I don’t know, we, we could, maybe, dance…?” She was fumbling with her words and fidgeting with her glasses, so she didn’t notice Lena leaving her to go talking with someone else. When Kara realized she was talking to herself, she felt awful. Lena didn’t even say she was going somewhere else.

Kara was doing all she could to make amends and to rebuild their friendship from scratch, but Lena had to try if she wanted them to work it out. Perhaps that was the problem; Lena didn’t want to be friends again with Kara.

Moving on wasn’t easy especially now that Kara saw Lena almost every day because of Ruby. Letting Lena go could be easier if the one person she thought could fill this void showed up. Ever since Black Steel saved Kara’s life, she hadn’t seen or heard from her. No, there hadn’t been any crimes or such that needed more than one or two heroes to handle it, but still. Was she avoiding Kara too?

She grabbed a chair and dragged close to the table where all the food was set in. Since Ruby had her friends and Lena had found better things to do, Kara decided to eat her feelings even though she was uncharacteristically full to eat.

Kara remained there for a while; an upbeat song was playing, and she watched Ruby dancing to it, having the time of her life. Lena was talking with a boy who was strangely familiar. It took some time for her to recognize him from TV and when Kara realized he was the boy who attempted to kill his classmates, she panicked. Didn’t Lena know who he was?

She did, didn’t she? If so, why was she talking to him?

Curiosity almost took the best of Kara and she almost took her necklace out to hear their conversation. Then she remembered when she asked James to spy on Lena. If she heard Lena’s and this boy’s conversation, she would be making the same mistake. So she didn’t eavesdrop. However, she found strange that among so many people to go talk to, Lena had decided to talk to the one kid who could’ve killed her and Ruby a month ago.

After what it seemed to be the last upbeat song to be played, a Taylor Swift song started playing. Not Shake it Off or Lover, songs that could easily be part of a setlist. She knew this song although she hadn’t actually paid attention to its lyrics before.

Kara liked the song, yes. The blonde listened to Taylor Swift no matter how much Alex would complain or make fun of her about it. Her sister still disliked pop songs as much as Kara still loved them.

Without nothing better to do, she finally paid attention to the chorus lyrics.

_Say my name and everything just stops_

_I don't want you like a best friend_

_Only bought this dress so you could take it off_

_Take it off_

_Carve your name into my bedpost_

_'Cause I don't want you like a best friend_

_Only bought this dress so you could take it off_

_Take it off_

Glancing at Lena’s direction was second nature, she didn’t mean to. All of sudden, she felt anxious, especially when the other girl stared back at her. Kara swallowed hard lowering her eyes. For some reason, she had forgotten that both of them were wearing dresses for tonight’s dance. For a moment she thought the lyrics were written for them.

The words also seemed to reveal a desire that the blonde never knew she had within herself. When the song made its dramatic stop, she got up from her chair. Kara had no idea what to do next, so she stood there waiting for something to happen. Lena didn’t move either, but she didn’t avert her gaze.

A slower song came in right after. She never heard that one before, but she wanted to ask Lena to dance with her. They were getting a chance to relive their teen years together, so why not?

She was walking towards her friend when Lena stopped looking at her to talk with that boy. The moment they started to awkwardly dance together was also the moment when Kara’s heart broke a little more. 

Why was Lena doing that to her? Most importantly, why not getting a chance to dance with her _friend_ hurt her so badly? Kara was close to crying as she watched Lena and that boy dance and laugh while dancing. She sniveled trying to hold the tears that burned her eyes. There was no reason to cry. Lena didn’t owe her anything and she could dance with whoever she wanted to.

“Hey, Kar-- Linda, how…” She didn’t see Ruby approach. “Hey, are you okay? Are you crying?” Kara snapped out from her sadness and heartbreak and looked at Ruby, who looked at Lena and the boy.

“I… yes, I’m fine. It’s just…” She waved her hands vaguely. “Allergies, I guess.”

The girl didn’t saw Ruby’s disbelief all over the brunette’s face.

“You should ask her to dance with you.”

She tried to play off with a weak laugh. Pretending everything was fine between them was getting harder. She thought she would stop this pretense after defeating Leviathan but then Sam and Ruby came back and they didn’t know Kara and Lena were at odds.

“She… she is dancing with _him_ ,” she hated how bitter (and jealous) she sounded.

“Le… Kiera is only talking and dancing with Josh because he was the one who attempted to do a school shooting here. No one is even looking at him right now. Kiera didn’t want him to feel more of an outsider than he already feels.”

A wave of stupidity and guilty flood over her. _Of course_ Lena would do such a thing. Not only she knew what was like to be held against her and her family’s past, but she was also the person who helped her sick brother even though a tiny part of her knew he was playing with her.

Kara felt sick in her stomach. Having to think of her best friend as a villain made her forget how inherently good Lena was especially when given a proper chance to show all the good she could do.

The urge to cry only worsened. Adult Kara had a better grip of her emotions, but she was currently a teenager who wanted to spend more time with her best friend so bad that she was on the verge of crying for being sidelined.

“You know what? She can’t have all the fun for herself,” Ruby said matter-of-factly, walking to them as the song hit a crescendo.

She saw Ruby interrupt Lena and the boy, but the song ended before Ruby and this Josh kid could start to dance together. When Adore You by Harry Styles started to play, Ruby and Josh started to dance while Lena stood there half confused, half proud of her niece.

Kara took a few seconds to stroll over the dance floor and Lena. Once she was close, she grinned at the girl.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“I, uh… Ruby told me what you were doing. It’s nice of you,” she said only to bite her lower lip anxiously when Lena raised a brow.

When adult Lena raised a brow as a way to ask something, Kara used to feel threatened but also enthralled by the woman. However, when teen Lena raised her brow, all Kara could think of was how undeniably cute friend looked. Teen Lena clearly hadn’t mastered the art of raising a perfect brow as adult Lena had.

“Oh, uh, you… you talking with… Josh? She told me why you were doing that.”

Then, Lena blushed and ducked her head. “I just didn’t want him to ever feel like that again. He is allowed to be here but no one is talking to him. Which I understand, but it’s just bad anyway.”

She nodded agreeingly so.

“They should give him a second chance.”

“You--” _should give me a second chance_ , she cut herself off before ruining the moment. They were talking. Yes, she wanted to dance with her friend, but talking was nice too. Again, Lena raised her brow; almost all the oxygen left Kara’s body. “Dance? With me, I mean. I, sorry, what I mean is do you want to dance with me?”

She prepared herself to hear a negative answer. Actually, she prepared herself for a rude negative response. Yes, teen Lena was certainly different from the Lena she had grown used to, but she still had her memories, she probably still felt betrayed by Kara.

“Oh… I, uh, I…” Lena looked around as if she was looking for something or someone. Maybe a polite way to say no? “Okay.”

Okay?

Kara’s beam was so bright and happy that her joy probably infected Lena since her friend smiled too. But as soon as the song ended and the next one came in, their smiles faded because a slow song started playing. She didn’t know this one but it was a slow, romantic song.

She blushed and started fidgeting with the dress fabric. “We don’t, we can wait for the next song if, if you want--” someone bumped into her making her lose her balance. If it wasn’t for Lena assisting her, maybe Kara would have fallen on the floor.

“It’s okay, we can dance… it’s, it’s just a song, Kara,” Lena was blushing as well.

“Linda.”

“Yeah, right. Sorry.”

They stared at each other and that made her heart pounding against her chest. Kara was nowhere near feeling brave, but the song wouldn’t wait for them. She took a step in invading Lena’s personal space and feeling completely insecure about this, she put her arms around Lena’s neck. 

If she was feeling her heartbeat quickening and out of control when she did that, when Lena hold her by her waist pulling her close, Kara felt her heart trying to leave her body behind.

Their feet weren’t moving but their bodies were subtly following the song’s rhythm. It was nice; nicer than should be, actually.

“I don’t know this song,” she whispered. Suddenly, being quiet was torturous.

Lena’s eyes were on her and she just couldn’t bare how green and gentle they were. They were saying so much but she didn’t understand all the gentleness that was shining through the emerald green of her friend’s eyes.

“It’s I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues. That’s a cover by Alessia Cara and the original is sung by Sir Elton John.

She laughed. “Wow, I… I didn’t know you knew that.”

As much she would try to avert her gaze, she was hypnotized by the way Lena was looking at her. There was love, which was confusing but also welcoming. She missed being looked at like she mattered to someone, especially if that someone was Lena.

Lena’s shy smile caused her stomach to flutter. Her insides twisted delightfully if that was even possible. 

“I like his songs. I also like her songs. And musicals.”

While Lena spoke, Kara moved her arms from her friend’s neck only to hold it with her hands. She was enjoying the moment. There was a nice tension in the air. A soft pressure that was strangely enticing. That’s when she mindlessly started to caress Lena’s neck with the tip of her fingers.

Lena’s warm breath softly caressed Kara’s face after her friend sighed. She almost closed her eyes at the feeling.

Her anxiety turned into expectation when her body was pressed closer to Lena’s. She had no idea of what was happening or what they are going but she wouldn’t stop it.

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

“There’s so much you still don’t know about me,” Lena whispered so softly that Kara had to look at her to make sure she would listen to whatever her friend was going to say next. She didn’t want to miss a word.

Lena kept quiet for a few seconds. Her eyes flickered to Kara’s lips which made the blonde bit her lower lip out of anxiety.

She was hearing her own heartbeat getting louder and louder. 

When Lena began to lean in, Kara felt a hot wave washing over her. She knew what was going to happen and she wanted to happen. She really, really wanted to feel Lena’s lip pressed against hers. She never entertained this idea before and she would eventually spiral down thinking about how badly she wanted her best friend to kiss her, but not now. 

Now all she wanted was to--

“ _Supergirl, our suspect is there._ ”

She backed away when she heard Brainy’s voice coming through the earpiece he had given her yesterday. Kara had never disliked Brainy so much as she did now. She could strangle him, for real.

Looking at Lena, she saw how confused and lost the girl looked. “I, uh, I…” she pointed at her right ear.

“ _Supergirl, do you copy?_ ”

While Lena looked at the verge of having a mental breakdown, Kara looked like a kicked puppy. She was so confused but there was no time for that. Not now at least.

“Duty calls?”

_What?_

She frowned at how familiar these two words were. “Yes, I, I have to go. Please, don’t leave. Please,” she wanted to say something regarding Lena’s safety but Brainy called her again. Kara left before handing her necklace to Lena.

Walking through the school corridor to get to its hall, she activated the image inducer she had on her and took off her glasses in order to suit up.

Kara had to focus on her mission but it was so, so hard after almost kissing Lena. All she could think of was how she wished she had met her friend when they were young. How she wished her first kiss was with the girl and not with Kenny. 

She reached the school main hall, seeing a bunch of adults and a teen girl who held a small gun.

“Oh, look who’s here. I guess you will finally live up to your name, Super _girl_.” The teen pointed the gun at her. 

—

Oh, how she wished she had time to fall into the rabbit hole of questions of why she almost kissed her former best friend. And if it wasn’t for the rude interruption, Lena would have definitely kissed Kara. Which why she was left confused and lost. However, there was an emergency she needed to attend to even if the blonde had asked her to stay there.

She would deal with her stupidity afterward when she was able to purchase the most expensive scotch in a liquor store without having to ask someone older than 21 to do it for her.

How she hated being a teenager.

She sneaked out from the sports court without being seen by Ruby, and Kelly and Andrea who were still there while the undercover DEO agents were on the main hall with J’onn, Alex and Dreamer.

Lena activated both the image inducer and the suit and when she appeared at the main hall, she was full Black Steel.

“Hiya there,” she said feeling silly for her choice of words. Everyone looked at her and suddenly she felt self-conscious. That wasn’t a good idea, after all, was it? She should’ve listened to Kara and stayed put. “Permission to crash this party?”

How her adult-self made it seemed so easy to sound outgoing and fun? All teen Lena felt was an urge to crawl back to her home and never leave again. Adult Lena may be not truly confident but she sure as hell knew how to trick people into believing she was.

“Who the fuck are you?”

She knitted her brows together even though no one could see her face.

“That was just plain rude.” Her remark made Supergirl snickered quietly. 

Ah, yes. Kara. There was Kara playing Supergirl, looking at Black Steel like she was the funniest person on Earth. Lena found odd of how happy the hero seemed to be seeing Black Steel was there. She even waved excitedly at her.

Did Kara actually know Lena is Black Steel? She thought that was impossible, but she could be wrong. Kara was smart although she didn’t show how smart she was.

“Whatever. You want to join the party? So be it,” the teen pointed the gun at her now. _Crap_.

“Don’t do this, Cameron,” J’onn said calmly. The teen was Cameron? By the way she looked shocked, yes, she was. “Hand us your gun.”

Cameron laughed mockingly. “And why on Earth would I do that? Especially before turning everyone in this city into teenagers? You don’t have anything to offer me.”

“We don’t want to hurt you, miss Porter. Give us the gun,” Alex tried but even Lena wouldn’t trust someone who was pointing a gun at her. If they wanted this Cameron Porter to trust them, they would need to use fewer guns and more talking.

“Yeah, right. I have the best thing in my possession and I’ll share it with the city.”

“So the plan is turning every adult into teenage? Why?” Dreamer asked earning a weird look from the girl. It seemed obvious for this Cameron girl why she was doing that.

“It was the best time of my life. Adulthood sucks. Everyone that I know complains about their adult life. I will heal humankind!”

Part of her wanted to ask why this girl’s personal experience should dictate what was better for everyone else, but as soon the thought made its way to her mind, Lena knew that would be hypocritical of her. 

Not that anyone here knew Lena Luthor was Black Steel. However, she would be bothered for stating something so hypocritical. She felt bad.

“Unless you know the whole city, you can’t be sure your plan will do good to everyone, girl,” Dreamer retorted; she sounded annoyed and disgusted by the idea of being a teen again. “Look, a lot of people are having crap adulthood while some had an awful childhood. You really can’t use your personal experiences to say what’s right and what’s wrong, Cameron.”

Lena knew that better than some people; not better than a woman who came out as a lesbian in her late twenties or an alien who lost her entire planet and family when she was only a teen and definitely not better than a trans hero. But she knew how being a teenager could be a nightmare rather than the best years of one’s life.

However it was unfair to take her personal experience on account when she didn’t have the best life altogether, and being raised by a rich family hadn’t lessened the damages she would carry forever. But Dreamer did have a point.

“Oh, spare me, okay? That can be a second chance for doing things right or doing--” the girl was interrupted by a blur who took out the gun off her hands, throwing it to Alex. She screamed when Supergirl twisted her arm behind her back. “Fuck! You broke my arm!” Cameron whined.

The hero looked apologetically to Alex who did not seem happy about her sister’s display of lack of control. “I’m really, really sorry.”

“I can’t fucking believe this!” Lena felt bad for her and for Kara. Even using the image inducer to appear older, the blonde was clearly panicking. She let go of the girl, looking at everyone as if asking for help. The blonde hero even took several steps back.

Before the teen could run off, Lena approached her holding her in place. “Do you need a painkiller? I have some,” she offered after remembering her adult-self had put a lot of painkillers in a compartment of the suit just in case. Adult Lena had no concept of real self-preservation, that’s for sure.

“Yeah, sure, why not? Because that will be really helpful.”

She grimaced. “You are kind of a douche, lady. Your attitude makes me think that you wanted to become a teenager for other reasons. Maybe bullied less or bullied more, I don’t know.”

When Alex barked out a laugh, she realized what she had just said. But instead of apologizing herself because that would be weird, she asked for handcuffs. After carefully handcuffed the girl, she guided the teen to the DEO.

“I’ll leave you, people, to it. Miss Dreamer, Lady of Steel, nice to see you,” she walked away but of course, Kara followed her.

“Hey, wait. We… I don’t see you since you saved my life.”

Her anxiety hit her hard. Lena was trying not to freak out over their almost kiss, and now Supergirl wanted to engage in a casual conversation with Black Steel? She had to get out of here since she had no one to ease her panic now.

“I really can’t stay, Supergirl …” someone called for Supergirl. They had to go to the DEO to study the device. “And you are needed. Bye.”

If she was a confident enough, she would have flown out of an open window or such, but Lena couldn’t really trust herself right now, so she walked away again, making a left at the first corner she saw.

She snuck out her head only to be sure Supergirl wasn’t there anymore.

“You need a symbol--”

She almost jumped out of surprise.

“Jesus Christ! Do _not_ sneak in on people like this…” Lena looked at whoever said that. “Oh, hello, Josh,” she tried saying it casually like her adult self would.

“You remember me,” he sounded surprised.

“Of course, I do. You were the first person to ever call me a hero.”

He smiled softly blushing a little.

“That’s because you are. Not only you stopped me for ruining my and everyone else’s lives, but you also got a new school psychologist for us.”

That was actually on Supergirl since Kara was close to Kelly Olsen, but she did ask if the blonde knew anyone up for the job. However, telling that could make this conversation too long, and she needed to go back to the sports court.

“Anyway. You should have a symbol or something. On your chest. Like Supergirl.”

She lowered her eyes to her suit. “Dreamer doesn’t have a symbol. Neither does Acrata.”

“I know. I haven’t met them personally to talk about that, but I think they should have a symbol too.” She didn’t know what to say. Lena was still panicking a little and her heart was beating fast over the scare and her anxiety. “I could draw one symbol to you.”

“You draw clothes?”

“ _Design_ them.”

“That’s why the other kids bullied you for?” Josh shrugged.

“They say no man that designs clothing is straight.”

She would have to google that before saying those kids were wrong as she really didn’t know much about the fashion world.

“Even if that was the truth, you could be the first one, assuming that you are straight. Also being straight or gay doesn’t matter. You have to dedicate yourself, improve your skills. That’s what counts.”

He beamed at her. “Just like Supergirl and Batwoman. They are women but they’re much better at their jobs than Batman and Superman.”

“Exactly. Anyway, I have to--”

“What happened here? I went to the bathroom and I saw what looked like a superhero convention.”

Oh, no.

“Uh, hm. So, you must have heard of someone was turning adults into fifteen years old,” he nodded, “and this person was here because there were a lot of adults present in the new Homecoming Dance…” 

“Oh, that’s why they were here? I thought it was because of me.”

She sensed the hint of sadness but instead of hugging Josh, she stood there, faceless and emotionless. 

“No, no. Anyway, that’s why the hero convention was here. You were the only one who saw it.” The boy said a quietly yes. “Anyway, I must go. Feel free to send me any of your designs to the number I gave, okay? Bye.”

She left before he could say something or anyone else show up there.

Lena entered the first bathroom she saw, deactivated her suit and waited for quite some time. After what felt forever, she left the bathroom and went back to the sports court. Kara obviously wasn’t there but as soon as she entered the place, Kelly and Andrea walked to her.

“Where were you?!” Andrea asked and, dang, she was truly worried about Lena.

“Bathroom?” She answered quietly and unsure.

“It’s okay, Lena. We were just worried about you,” Kelly eased her. Talking to her these past few days did a lot of good to Lena. The woman was really good at her job. At least Lena thought so. “Anyway. Andrea is taking you to the DEO.”

“But why? Have they already found a way to reverse…” she waved to herself, “this?”

“No, not yet. However, they may need your help.”

It made sense since she had all the knowledge she gathered over the years. Lena lacked self-confidence but she was still smart enough to help the adults. Yes, she would eventually break down in tears over the pressure of being scare of disappointing people, however, that was a small price to pay.

She followed Andrea as her friend was looking for an empty room and when they found one, the brunette did her thing teleporting they out of the school and in the DEO. The feeling of being embraced by shadows and leaving one place to go to another was weird, and Lena didn’t enjoy it. But when Andrea asked her with a smile if she had liked the ride, she nodded because fifteen years old Lena was still too polite and scared of hurt people’s feeling.

Since Ruby was still enjoying herself at the Homecoming Dance, Kara was walking around the DEO wearing her suit while looking like a teenager.

“Hey, Lena!”

Lena looked around looking for Andrea. Where was the woman to shadow her out of here before the blonde could catch up with her? She needed assistance; she couldn’t deal with Kara by herself. Not when her friend (former friend, Lena, _former_ friend) was the most adorable thing she had ever seen.

She swallowed thickly. “They are calling me, to, to help. I can’t talk now,” she said in a haste finally getting control over her legs and making her way to one of the labs. Kara followed her.

“Oh, right. Yes. You still are a world-saving genius, even if you’re the youngest person in the room,” the earnestness in Kara’s voice made her heart soar. She didn’t want to feel all of these… _feelings_. It was hard enough to resist the blonde as an adult, but since their fall out, her adult-self had shown strength and enough stubbornness to handle the situation. As a teen, Lena didn’t have the same self-control.

Lena didn’t say a word, not even a shy ‘thank you’. Yes, every fiber of her wanted to sheepishly thank Kara for the compliment; however, the teen wouldn’t let her politeness take the best of her. She would try and keep the job her adult-self started one year ago. 

She would keep the walls up no matter how hard that was, no matter how much she wanted to hug her friend and apologize for being such an idiot. The almost kiss was enough of a mess for her adult self to deal with.

“Anyway. Can we talk later?” Her stomach dropped and she abruptly stopped walking, shock and panic coloring her features.

She should say no, they can’t talk later or ever because that’s why her adult self would say, but her adult self didn’t almost kiss Kara. That was on teen Lena, and teen Lena wanted to talk later. She also wanted to run off as she was a coward when it came to facing her feelings.

Luckily for her, Brainy left the room they almost entered. “Ah, Lena. You are finally here. We really need your help,” he said giving her space to enter to room.

Before walking into the lab, she glanced over at Kara seeing how sad the girl looked. It was for the best — and if Lena repeated such sentence as a mantra, she would eventually believe in it.

—

He didn’t like what he was seeing. How a device could be in the DEO database if the said device had never been on Earth before? Not only that; the lack of information was worrisome as well. In addition to these concerns, the fact that he had no memory, or whatsoever about this Apokolips planet was also problematic.

As teen Lena worked with the DEO scientific team to understand the gun, Brainy kept searching anything on their database that could be helpful.

They dismantled the gun a few hours ago but whatever was powering it, it was well guarded in a small metallic ball with the tiniest hole. Everyone on the team was afraid to do anything regarding the ball and its hole as two agents had broken their arms after dismantling the gun and Lena was thrown to the other side of the lab.

If it wasn’t for teen Kara, the girl could’ve hurt herself badly. That’s why Kara was now shadowing Lena was the Luthor moved around the room looking for a pin or anything with a thin point.

“I really don’t think that is a good idea, Lena,” the blonde tried again and she was once again ignored by the other teen. Brainy decided to ignore the pair for the sake of his sanity. However, listening to them argue was too distracting. He, however, stayed quiet.

“And what would be a good idea? We have already established that this energy is sentient. That’s why it exploded when we dismantled the gun,” Lena’s voice sounded calm and almost gentle as she explained why Kara couldn’t use her heat vision on the ball.

He agreed that was dangerous. He also updated the intel on the Motherbox, adding the sentient factor.

“Right, I get that, but _Lena_ , what if it explodes again and it’s worse?”

Brainy was forced to looked at Kara once he recognized a tinge of sadness and worry in his friend’s voice. Kara indeed looked on the brink of crying for whatever reason. He then glanced over Lena who was still on her quest after a pin or some other useful tool.

She was a truly remarkable person. Even as a teen she was ready to help without taking the consequences into account. He would always regret not staying on her side when she needed the most.

However regretful Brainy felt for what he hadn’t done in the past, he knew he couldn’t meddle this time. After waking up from his coma, he understood what had happened. There were almost infinite possibilities and because Lena Luthor had finally chosen one path to walk through, a new future was built in his mind. His memories of the future he knew were replaced by new ones.

There was no more flood of memories, his brain wasn’t overdriving anymore because of the possibilities. Yes, there would be changes but none would affect him that much. And all of that because not only Lena decided to use her suit again, but also because of the moment she chose to wear it again. She changed history without even knowing she was doing so.

“Well…” he heard her saying after grabbing the thinnest pin he had ever seen, “then I guess we are all lucky to have you here in this room?” She sounded unsure but went back to her station anyway.

He abandoned his fruitless searching to observe what would happen after Lena poked the ball. Brainy was more curious than worried about Lena’s safety.

When she inserted the pin into the ball’s hole and pressed, the room went quiet. There was an unspoken tension weighing on everyone. They watched as the ball expanded a few inches.

“See, nothing to worry--” 

Lena didn’t finish her sentence because of a loud pitched sound coming off from the ball. It sounded like an agonizing scream and before anyone could do something, there was another explosion. At least that was Brainy thought after hearing what sounded a lot like an explosion.

All of sudden, he and the other DEO personnel were out of the lab while Kara and Lena were still there. Inside a blind light shined through, and he couldn’t see what was happening.

“What is that?!” He heard Alex asking as she climbed the stairs. “Brainy, what is happening?! Where is Supergirl?!” She shouted at him once she reached the floor.

Brainy pointed at the lab without looking directly at the light. He and Alex turned their back at the light. Turning his head over Alex, the man could see her worried. He worried too because the alien didn’t know what that was about. No one would ever know how scared he felt when the annoying sound ceased; he was afraid to turn to see what happened only to face the worse.

Which wasn’t the case, thank goodness. Of course, the sight of one adult Supergirl shielding in a hug one adult Lena was odd because, well, they were adults again, but they were alive and well. Or so he hoped they would be.

He and Alex stepped into the room when Kara let Lena go out of her hug. There was a weird feeling in the air around the two women; he deliberately ignored that. For a moment it seemed they were alone, even though he and Alex were standing right here. They appeared to be hypnotized by themselves which could be reasoned over the fact they magically turned into adults again.

Whatever reason may be causing their stare contest vanished. Lena lost the contest by going back to her table where the ball laid in.

“How the hell did that happen?”

A blur approached her before she could touch the small object. Kara held Lena’s hands with hers.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Alex cleared her throat loudly. “Can someone explain to me what the hell happened here?” They looked at her surprised and not so subtly Lena pulled her hands back in.

He saw the former DEO Director frowning as the two women put more distance between them. So many scenes had been in his mind when he was in a coma that he didn’t remember this particular one; seeing it unfolding right before his eyes was undeniably endearing. If only Winn was there for them to talk about it.

“We don’t know,” as Lena started talking, a glint appeared in her eyes, “but I need to study this device to understand how it works,” he knew Alex noticed too; Lena Luthor was interested. However, his friend didn’t see that as a good sign. She had lost faith in Lena, “because since it’s sentient, then one of its doings must have been forced upon it. Knowing which one was its decisions, I guess we could determine whether this device is friendly or not.”

He smiled at Lena’s ramblings. Brainy had honestly missed being around her.

“Okay, what? That _thing_ has its own feelings and desires?” Alex did not sound happy about that. It was understandable, though, since that meant they could’ve been dealing with anything.

“I should start studying it now…”

Brainy stepped in. “Lena, may I advise you to go to your home and rest before? You stayed here longer than you should have,” he said gently. The man knew who he was dealing with, he knew what that glint in Lena’s eyes meant; she would go home after only finding out everything that there is to find out about the device.

She nodded. “Okay, yes. My head is not in the right place right now and I need my mind sharp,” her words made him smiled softly.

“Before you leave, I want to talk to you at my office, okay?”

Lena frowned. “Okay…”

Brainy was leaving the lab when he heard Kara asking if she and Lena could talk. He didn’t stop walking even though he knew what was going to happen. Lena called for him saying she would go to his office now.

He looked at the women over his shoulder, focusing on Kara’s crestfallen face.

After waiting for Lena to catch him up, they walked side by side to his office. Brainy wanted to say that maybe she and Kara should talk but he knew better than to intervene. All he did was handing Lena one earpiece he took from a drawer he had in his office.

“That’s for you.”

She eyed him half suspiciously, half in shock. “Why?”

Brainy smiled knowingly at Lena. “Just in case.”

“You know,” she stated quietly, and he only shrugged. Brainy watched her putting the device in one of her dress pockets. She bit her lip anxiously before taking something from the other pocket. “Can you give this to Kara?” She handed to him the necklace he had made for teenage Kara.

“Yes, I will give her this right away.”

They left the room. She walked towards the stair while he went back to the lab. There, he saw Kara holding the ball.

“Supergirl?”

She glanced over him with disinterested. “What?” Her voice sounded devoid of emotions.

“Uh, Lena asked me to give you this,” he said as he stepped further. He handed the necklace to her. Kara looked at it with mild interest before taking it on her hands. She rested the ball on the table after that.

“My, how kind of her to give me back this power-dampener,” she mocked dryly. “Anyway, I’m heading home.”

And before he could say anything, Kara flew away from the DEO.

Brainy stared at the ball. Whatever that was, maybe it wasn’t friendly as it made seemed to be. After all, if the device had a mind of its own, then it might as well made Kara and Lena turned back into adults for its own purpose.

He wished he could remember the specifics of all memories of all possible futures he had seen and experienced when in a coma. Even if he didn’t, he guarded the ball in a case. He wore gloves to touch the device, not trusting it enough to touch it with his bare hands.

The man only hoped that Kara unusual dryness related to Lena running away from their conversation and not because she touched the device.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. I fooled myself and ended up writing a 13k chapter instead of a 5k one. Lol I don't know if the next chapters will be this long but I finally know what plotline I want to work on in this story, so buckle up because we have a longish ride to go! Also, I'll be using a lot of canonical DC elements here but from animated TV shows such as Young Justice. but I'll also be making some changes as we go, so don't expect to read anything that is canonically accurate because you will be disappointed. (Or not, I don't know.)
> 
> Also, I'd love to write more about teenagers Kara and Lena and develop them further but the chapter was long as it is.
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on my Tumblr: https://liapetros.tumblr.com/


	10. Falling Further.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is angry and frustrated at Lena and she doesn't feel like bottling her emotions anymore, so she decides to pay her friend a visit. Chaos ensues, and Lena thinks Kara is under something; could it be red kryptonite again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate thinking on a chapter title because I never know if they fit the main plot of the chapter.

She was fighting the urge to visit Lena since Saturday night when the woman _run away_ from her. Her thoughts were messy from being a teenager for more than one week, but she knew her anger had nothing to do with the fact that she was a prisoner to her fifteen years old naivety. Kara was angry because Lena was avoiding her.

They had almost kissed at that dance. _Lena_ had leaned into to kiss Kara, and she didn’t want to talk about that or about how she was being a completely, totally, and utterly _jackass_ when it came to Kara’s feelings.

However, being ignored wasn’t enough to set her anger ablaze. No. On top of that was the fact that somehow Kara couldn’t get a hold on Lena’s heartbeat yesterday. There was no erratic beating indicating the woman was in danger or peaceful beating announcing she was fine. There was no beating at all. So, Kara couldn’t track her down yesterday for them to talk things through. 

Not only that was frustrating as it was equally or more enraging. The blonde had to fight the urge to destroy everything in her apartment when her anger hit the boiling point. She was done waiting for Lena to decide whether they would try being friends again or not. No, she didn’t want the woman out of her life and honestly to Rao, she wasn’t too keen to respect whatever Lena’s wishes would be. Kara was tired of letting go of things that mattered so much to her; Lena was on that list. Nevertheless, Lena _had_ to make up her mind.

When Monday finally came in she was ready to take what was hers by whatever means necessary. That meant talking to her boss, and even though she could punch Andrea out of the atmosphere, the brunette had information Kara needed.

Yes, she knew she needed to control herself but Kara was quickly growing tired of bottling her every thought and every desire as it was as exhausting as it was tedious. 

She entered Andrea’s office ignoring whoever was there with her.

“I need Lena’s new address,” she demanded, rolling her eyes at the woman who said they were having an important conversation. “Do I look like I care?” She didn’t it.

Kara didn’t care if Andrea Rojas had been obliged to give her full attention to CatCo since Obsidian North had to close its doors for business because of the whole Leviathan debacle. The blonde actually thought it was funny seeing the woman finally waking up from her privileged life to learn how to run a media business properly as Andrea was clearly struggling. The truth was no one could walk in Cat Grant’s shoes and succeeded like her especially after using CatCo Magazine for their own profit.

Rojas sighed and politely dismissed the woman. “Why do you need her address?” Kara chuckled dryly. Did she really have to justify herself now? She rolled her eyes again and sat at one of the empty chairs in front of Andrea’s table.

“You assigned me to interview her. That was basically two months ago. I think it’s time for her to give the interview,” she crossed her arms looking pointedly at her boss.

“I’ve changed my mind. CatCo won’t be interviewing her.”

Kara gritted her teeth and squeezed her own arms as a way to keep her powers in check. Rao, she could easily take the information from Andrea by force.

“And why is that… _Acrata_?” She raised her brows threateningly. Andrea tensed in nervousness; Kara noticed with a satisfied smile. “Did you really forget that I was there too?” The blonde heard her boss swallowing hard. “Just give me her address. I promise you I’ll write the sweetest piece about your _chummy_ friend, Andrea,” her hands trembled at the thought of Andrea and Lena being close as they once were. Kara didn’t like the idea of sharing Lena with anyone else. Especially with Andrea and that whole ‘you jump, I jump’ crap.

Andrea averted her eyes, clearly disliking this conversation and its direction. The idea that the woman was so genuinely worried about Lena Luthor to not notice teenager Kara was making her sick in her stomach.

The blonde hated the thought that Lena used to be as close to Andrea as she was to Kara.

“Right, you know,” she said displeased writing something in a small piece of paper. “If you tell someone about that, miss Danvers--”

“What, will you fire me?” She barked out a laugh. “Come on, Andrea, be realistic, okay? I’m a Pulitzer winner. Any respected newspaper would love to have me working to them, and who are you at this moment if not the image of failure and incompetence?” Kara saw the color draining off Andrea’s face. It was amusing to watch the woman losing her annoying ability to retort everything with an empty comeback. “I’m admired that Cat didn’t try to buy the company back after everything. You need me here so that’s why you won’t fire me. But don’t worry, Acrata identity isn’t newsworthy anyway,” she grabbed the small paper with a victorious smile before the woman changed her mind and left the office.

That felt good. Not as good as punching Andrea would feel like, she mused. However, Kara didn’t want to work somewhere else so she had to keep that urge in check. An urge she didn’t keep in check? To see and talk to Lena as quickly as she could; she went to the address flying, cautious be damned.

She landed in front of a house and looked around. Kara was in a calm homely neighborhood. There was no one in that street full of houses that looked almost the same. She was in National City suburbs which would be the last place she would look for someone who used to live in manors and penthouses.

Lena was smart, that much was true. Living in a place no one could even fathom she would be willing to live in? Simply genius.

Kara scanned the house finding some boxes left opened in an empty room. There were some chess and fencing trophies displayed at what seemed to be the living room. Photos of Ruby, Sam, and Lena or just Lena and Ruby or just Lena and Sam. Lena wasn’t there even though Kara knew today was her day off.

According to Ruby, Lena didn’t work on Mondays yet because she had so many off clock hours to spend. Kara tried to listen to Lena’s heart again and, once again, nothing. She groaned before breaking the door handle to enter the house. After poorly fixing the door handle, she closed the door behind her.

The place looked homey and oddly like Lena. The woman’s penthouse was anything but home-like for Kara. She always felt that Lena’s place was more of an extension of her office than a home.

But this house exuded Lena Luthor everywhere. Walking in Kara reached the kitchen where there were a mug and a plate in the sink. No signal that breakfast was cooked just now but that could mean nothing. Lena could’ve done the dishes before settling to eat. That somehow would be a very Lena Luthor thing to do; cleaning the mess before enjoying the food.

The thought of her friend cooking breakfast warmed her heart but that, unfortunately, set her anger on fire again. Where was Lena after all? They needed to talk.

Kara went to the other rooms in the house looking for a sign of the woman. Maybe a forgotten grocery list. What she found was Lena’s room. On her bed rested the damn cute teddy bear Andrea went here to fetch for her. Before her blood could reach its boiling point once more, she noticed a framed photo on the nightstand.

Of all photos Lena Luthor could have framed and put at the display on her nightstand, Kara would never imagine it would a picture of the two of them and Sam on that Christmas dinner. Her heart clenched. Sam was caught mid laughter while Kara was smiling and looking at their photographer, Winn. Lena, however, was looking at _her_ and there were so much love and adoration in her eyes that they shined bright.

Kara put the frame down feeling her throat closing in despair and pain. How blind she had been to not see that all she wanted was right beside her. It was infuriating, too; however, she already wasted many hours of her days and many days of her life crying over what happened, feeling guilty about betraying Lena when she didn’t do that. She had always known deep in her heart she shouldn’t have been treated badly.

“What are you doing here?”

She almost flew out the window when she heard Lena’s voice out of the blue. Focusing her super hearing, she could finally hear Lena’s heart beating normally. Again she x-rayed the house and focused on the floor this time, only to find out most of the ground had enough lead in it to block Kara’s x-ray vision. She clenched her fists and took a deep breath. That was not the focus although her brain was flooding her with several past information.

“I asked you what are you--”

All of sudden she quickly turned to Lena and dashed towards her, pressing her against the nearest wall.

“We need to talk.”

—

She grunted when her back and the back of her head hit the wall harder than she expected.

“How did you get this address?”

As soon as she asked, one name popped in her brain. Andrea. Sam wouldn’t tell anyone and Ruby didn’t know yet because Lena knew the girl was too naïve and fond of the Danvers sisters. Andrea was the other only person who knew where she was currently living.

Kara’s sly and poisonous smile answered the question, but she threw shade at Andrea’s and Lena’s past friendship anyway.

“I guess it’s more of ‘I push you, you drown alone’ kind of relationship, uh?” She frowned at the remark as that was very uncharacteristic of Kara. Well, all of this was very not Kara.

Lena knew the blonde would never go against her wishes of being alone but she was here now, after trespassing.

“What did you do to make her give this address?”

Kara backed away from her the moment Lena asked that. Her features displayed displeased and anger; the raven-haired woman never saw the other displaying anger. Kara could and would get frustrated at times, but never angry. Right now, the blonde’s face twitched in almost pure rage.

“What did I _do_? Are you implying something? Are you _defending_ her? Really? Of all people you are defending _her_?!” Kara raised her voice. Not only she was angry but she was also hurt. However, her anger was the main emotion, the one who dictated the blonde’s reactions. That scared Lena since she never saw Kara in that state.

“No, I’m not--”

She didn’t let Lena finish speaking.

“Is that how it is? Everyone gets a second chance, except me?! Lex, Lillian, Andrea, but nothing for Kara Danvers!? Even though I was there when your so-called family betrayed you and used you and tried to hurt you!?”

Lena couldn’t go back any further as there was a wall behind her. So, she glided to her right to get out of her bedroom door and put more distance between them.

“You fooled me too, Kara. You are no saint,” she retorted trying to control her own emotions. For some reason, Lena knew the best thing was to not add fuel to the fire, no matter how hard that might be. That was a hard thing to do, though, because there was so much left unsaid between them.

Kara followed her and they ended in the living room.

“But I never wanted to be a saint! I don’t get why these terrible people earned their second chance and I don’t get the same benefit of the doubt! Why, Lena, why?!”

She swallowed hard, circling the center table in the room. 

“Because you pretended to be two different people with two different opinions about me, Kara, that’s why. At least with them, I knew on what grounds I stood!”

The blonde scoffed, clearly not liking Lena’s answer. The truth was there were some days she didn’t know why she was keeping Kara away. Her reasoning wouldn’t make sense sometimes. It didn’t help that she almost _kissed_ Kara when they were teenagers. She didn’t want to think about what had led her to that although she knew the answer would be inside one of her imaginary boxes. However, she wasn’t that keen into looking for answers. She rather making a new box and filed her troubles away.

“Oh, I… I pretended?! That’s your excuse, that you _knew_ with whom you were dealing with when you were…” Her laughed was filled with discontentment and sarcasm; a dry sound that Lena never thought one day she would hear Kara making.

“Supergirl started to treat me like any other Luthor after she discovered about--”

Another cut off. She groaned in frustration.

“About the kryptonite, yes! Because it’s the only thing that…” Kara grunted too, “we had this conversation before, Lena! Why are you so hung up on this?! What do you want me to tell you? I already said my reasonings!”

She knew that. Lena remembered the time before the crisis, the anti-matter and she remembered the day of Kara’s Pulitzer ceremony, how the blonde’s tears and words confused her beyond expectation. Kara sounded genuinely guilty for lying to her all these years.

“Yeah, but you said why you didn’t tell me after all the betrayal I’ve been through. You never told me what kept you from telling me before,” differently from Kara, she kept her emotions at bay, controlled, and she didn’t let the blonde get anywhere near her. Sure a table wouldn’t shield Lena if Kara genuinely wanted to advance, but she hoped that wouldn’t happen.

“What?” There was confusion mixed with disbelief in the blonde’s voice. “You say like I owed you telling you,” her words were spat, angering Lena.

“And you did!” So much for keeping her feelings under control.

“Did not! I didn’t owe you _shit_ , okay?! If I ever decided to tell you--”

“ _If ever_?! So there was a chance of you never telling me?! How you dare wanting me to be honest about what I was doing in _my_ lab when you--”

Their voices were as loud as thunders in a storm. She watched Kara’s features twisting in anger at the same time the blonde’s eyes went bloodshot for a few seconds.

_What_?

“--my secret, it would be on _my_ terms!”

Something was off, but they were in too deep now for Lena to stop. She pointed her index finger at Kara. 

“You lied to me about who you were! More than once!”

Then, after a gust of wind sent chills down her spine, Kara was in front of her holding her by her left wrist.

“How _dare_ you to say I was lying to you our entire friendship when our talks were the truest conversation I ever had in so many years?” She whimpered in pain when the blonde squeezed her wrist harder. Kara’s eyes went bloodshot again making her scary as the blue of her irises was lighter due to the contrast. “I was there for you whenever you needed someone! _I_ made you feel validated, _I_ made you feel seen for who you were and not for your last name! _I_ was the one defending your ass from everybody! That’s was _me_! As Kara Danvers or Supergirl. _Me_!”

She bit her lower lip to avoid screaming in pain, but she wasn’t able to hold the few tears.

“ _I_ saved your ungrateful ass every time someone plotted your assassination or when you with your lack of self-preservation and lack of will to live until your thirties tried to do some world-saving! 

“What else did you want from me that I hadn’t given you!? I gave you my trust and my friendship, and you wanted more?! You wanted me to be opened with you when I already was?!”

Knowing that wouldn’t do any difference, Lena held Kara’s wrist anyway to try and make the blonde realized she was close to breaking the woman’s wrist most slowly and painfully.

“Kara…” she called quietly.

The blonde let go of Lena’s wrist not because she noticed she was hurting the raven-haired woman but to circle her in a predatory way. Lena almost fell on her couch because of that.

“You want to know why I didn’t tell you?” She didn’t nod. In the past, Lena was scared to hear that was because she was a Luthor and Kara needed her close or because she and her friends were using her. Now she felt Kara’s reason could be worse than that. “I didn’t tell you because I simply didn’t want to.”

Lena reached another wall with her back. There was nowhere to go this time. She was trapped. Kara’s answer didn’t really surprise her. Not wanting to tell a secret just because didn’t do anything for her heart; it didn’t ease any pain and didn’t open any bruise.

“I liked being selfish and to have you all for me,” but _that_ made her swallowed hard, especially when Kara pressed their bodies together; the feeling was strangely nice although the wave of heat was new. “You were mine and I was yours. When you hugged me tight you didn’t do it because you knew that was the only way I would feel it, so I knew it was real.

“I could be anything with you. So why would I bother telling you about Supergirl and change that? I could be myself with you! And your brother ruined that for us! _You_ ruined that for me!” Kara backed away. “I didn’t even stand a chance, did I!? You decided to cut me out of your life like I was nothing! How did you think that makes me feel?! Uh?! Have you ever asked yourself how I felt when you left me? When you _used_ me after accusing me of using and fooling you?!”

In a flash, Kara was back at pressing her body further into Lena’s, but now her right arm was pressing the woman’s neck too. She panicked when she realized there was no longer pain in Kara’s eyes. Only anger.

“Was I a pet to you that when accidentally hurt you, you abandoned to its lucky?!” Her feet weren’t touching the floor anymore. As Kara pressed her arm on her neck, she was slowly lifting Lena. “You have no idea how you wounded me by doing that! I had to give up so much my entire life but at least I had you! You were the only thing, the only person, I couldn’t give up! I risked so much for you and for what?! Tell me, Lena?! For what?!”

She held Kara’s arm. No self-defense class could prepare her for that. How do a human fight a Kryptonian when there is no kryptonite and no red sun? However, deep down she knew that wasn’t Kara speaking. Well, it was the blonde’s bottled emotions, but the blonde would never approach her like this.

The bloodshot eyes were also an obvious sign that something was wrong. Maybe red kryptonite again? She had read about that after becoming friends with Supergirl. It could be, yes, but how and who could have done that if all the people that could be behind that were dead?

Kara turned her head to her left and removed her arm from Lena’s neck all of sudden. She coughed before taking in a good amount of oxygen to her quite oxygen-deprived organism.

“I’m needed,” Kara looked down on her as Lena had fallen to the floor after the blonde ceased to hold her. “This conversation isn’t over, Lena. I’m curious to know why your basement needed lead coating,” when the woman said that, Lena choked on air. “Whatever you’re hiding there, I’ll find out.”

Before Lena could say anything, Kara flew out of here, leaving by the open window in the kitchen that had a view for the house’s backyard.

She didn’t have time to feel less dizzy to warn Brainy about Kara’s current state, so she dragged herself by her house until she reached the basement stairs. The door had a biometry lock as she couldn’t change much of the house architecture without raising suspicion. She pressed her index finger on the biometric reader to open the door and went down the stairs.

In the basement, she had all she needed to help her fixing minor problems in her suit but she also had a computer to improve her A.I. system. It wasn’t glamorous like in the movies and it didn’t need to be. 

She grabbed the earpiece Brainy gave her two days ago in a drawer for tools and put on her right ear. “Brainy?”

“ _Lena! What do I--”_ She cut him off.

“Keep an eye on Supergirl. I think she’s under something, maybe red kryptonite again,” as she warned him, she gently touched her neck. It was sensitive, so she winced.

“ _Red kryptonite? Are you certain? We just send her off to--_ ”

Of course, she wasn’t certain of what was affecting Kara but she knew something was messing with the hero’s brain.

“Just keep an eye on her! And if you need to send someone, do not send Acrata. Send the Martian or Dreamer.”

“ _I… uh, okay. Alright then. Thank you._ ”

She removed the earpiece without saying anything else. She went back upstairs and turned on her TV looking for a news channel. After long seconds, she found one that was covering whatever was happening that needed Supergirl.

—

Kara _did_ seem off but Brainy didn’t think it was something related to red kryptonite as Lena had said before. Yes, she showed a more aggressive stance when dealing with gun dealers today. However, he thought that maybe Kara was acting a bit off because of Lena.

Whatever may have happened between them when they were teenagers clearly affected both of them, and they were dealing with in different ways.

She was here now training Ruby and everything seemed fine. The blonde was pushing the teen’s limit a bit more than normal, but he didn’t have any authority to question her methods as training half magical Kryptonians was beyond his areas of expertise. So instead of advising Supergirl to take easy on the girl, he went to the main lab to study the ball to discover how its energy worked.

Brainy agreed with Lena about its sentientness but he suspected the energy wasn’t friendly. He wanted to remember the specifics about the present day because whatever that energy was, he thought it wasn’t something good, but he didn’t remember why.

“Dr. Dawkins, any news?” He asked one of the scientists. They all were wearing personal protective equipment such as masks, goggles, gloves, and lab coats even though the ball looked harmless. He didn’t trust the device or its energy.

“We are poking the ball but nothing happens. And we can’t get any readings,” she said after taking her mask off to be better heard. “If its sentientness is truth, then the energy is dormant for whatever reason.”

He grabbed a pair of gloved and after putting them on, Brainy took the ball in his hand. He stared at it.

“Do you think it’s hiding from us?” He looked at the woman.

“Yes, Director, I do. Nothing else explains what is happening. Also, sometimes the balls emitted an annoying cry. Still, we couldn’t get any readings.”

Before putting the ball at the table again, he analyzed a little more.

“So it’s in pain but it doesn’t want help,” Brainy stated puzzled and intrigued. That couldn’t be good nor mean anything good. “Thank you, doctor. Keep it up with your good work.”

He left and went back downstairs at the same time Ruby appeared at the main wing to talk with Lena. The girl looked exhausted but content.

“Hi, there!” Lena said lifting her hand to perform what people in this time called a high five.

Kara appeared not long before Lena and Ruby greeted each other.

“What did you just say?!” He stopped going down the stairs with only two steps missing for him to be officially on the same floor as them. The hero’s voice sounded heated and her features were not welcoming or peaceful.

Under her odd bitterness towards the other woman and the teen greetings, Brainy thought he got a hint of realization in Kara’s eyes. However, it vanished as soon as it appeared, and Kara looked angrier than a few seconds ago.

But she didn’t get a chance to ask again because something came up. More specifically, an alien attack targeting the City Hall.

“Oh, nice. Now I have to save the mayor,” Supergirl complained before flying off there.

“Miss Luthor?” Brainy called and when the woman looked at him, he continued. “Don’t you need to… wash your hands… before helping us with the device?” He was sure he was subtle with his words. Lena understood what he meant and excused herself.

Perhaps Lena was right about Kara; there was something eerie about the blonde, and Kara did touch the ball with no gloves on two days ago.

—

She knew why these aliens were targeting the City Hall and if she didn’t have a nice incoming or needed to use image inducer to pass as human, she would be on their side. However, she didn’t depend on the National City’s government to survive like these frustrated and angry aliens.

Kara let them have their fun. She watched as they threatened the mayor to give the program for homeless and jobless aliens the fair amount of money.

The hero reminded how pissed she was when she found out the mayor cut these programs budget to use for the maintenance of some private building or sports field. She wrote a piece back then only for Andrea to dismiss saying it wasn’t what she wanted from Kara. _Of course_ , Andrea would say that; _of course_ , she wouldn’t care. 

When things got out of hands, she stepped in. The mayor was scared of what could happen to him, but she felt nothing for him. He had brought that upon himself after all. She still had her job to do, however.

Despise knowing the aliens were right, that didn’t make her punched them less nor controlled her strength while doing it so. She went there because she wanted to punch things. Kara’s frustration only grew by the day; seeing Lena at the DEO didn’t make things better especially after hearing the woman saying words that ringed some bells.

“Hiya there Superlady,” and speaking about bells ringing.

She had her hand on the throat of a lizard-looking alien and she was ready to punch him away or against the nearest wall. Yes, she had done a good job in breaking the City Hall’s main room by fighting these justice seeking aliens, but she knew she could do more damage if she wanted to. And she did. Until now.

Black Steel stood there. “You…” she spat her words not knowing her eyes got bloodshot again. She let the alien go.

How much of a fool she had been in these past months? The truth was right in front of her and she pushed herself to not see it, to not believe it.

With her ‘hiya there’ and ‘duty calls’ being said. “Let me guess, _Black Steel_ ,” she said as if the name of the vigilante was a dirty word, “you were in the neighborhood.” She hated she couldn’t see under the suit because Kara wanted to see Black Steel’s face after saying that. She wanted to hear her heartbeat going erratic out of fear and anxiety.

Kara sprinted into Black Steel using her super-speed. She didn’t care about those aliens or about the news reporters who were there for their news channels. She tackled the armored vigilante down and punched her hard. Her goal was to break the helmet and expose whoever was underneath it.

She knew who was there. Somehow the blonde always knew but she fooled herself into thinking it couldn’t be. Kara invented excuses because she knew deep down she wouldn’t be able to handle the truth.

And the truth was that Lena Luthor was toying with her in a much crueler way than before. If using and manipulating Kara to get to Myriad was upsetting enough, pretending to be some kind of hero, and having two identities who would interact with Kara and Supergirl was plain mean and revolting.

Lena was fooling Kara out of anger and cruelty. That made the hero feel enraged and she didn’t want to control her emotions this time. No. She was done with that and she was done with Lena Luthor misleading and toying with her feelings.

She took her by her leg and after spinning Black Steel’s weightless body, Kara hurled her to the sky. Knowing the Black Steel could fly in that suit, Kara flew to her direction before Lena could fly away to avoid their confront. Kara broke the sound barrier while flying which make her punch stronger and more dangerous.

Black Steel didn’t stand a chance against her. _Lena_ didn’t stand a chance against Kara.

She finally was free of guilt as she was seeing the woman for who she truly was — a deceiver. Kara was angry and enraged and frustrated and hurt. Her heart was broken but that didn’t make her sad; that made her pissed and outraged and irate.

What had she done to make Lena wanted to hurt her so badly? Why she was the only one who had to apologize?! Lena had manipulated her, she had imprisoned J’onn’s brother, she forced an A.I. into Eve’s brain. All that to get to Kara, to hurt her? No, Lena Luthor was _bad_ and cruel and plain evil.

Lena was free falling and instead of helping, Kara kept punching her, making her closer to the ground. They were on the outskirts of the city now as Kara had been punching Lena away.

“What are you doing, Supergirl?! Stop!” Black Steel was talking but only now she listened to her pleads. Lena wasn’t fighting back. She was dodging some punches, shielding herself from others, but she didn’t try to punch back, and Kara was offended by that.

“You want to take me out of business and now you won’t fight back?! Fight back, you useless piece of metal!” She shouted.

“I don’t want to--” Kara punched her against a tree and when Lena fell on the floor, the blonde dashed. Now suited up Lena Luthor was pinned down on the floor.

“You want to hurt me, don’t you? That’s your revenge, right? Hurt everyone who wronged you! I’m your new target! First Lex Luthor, then me!?” Every word was punctuated with a punch in Black Steel’s helmet. Soon she would be able to remove it or to break. Whatever happened first.

“No! I don’t want that! Stop!” Even though Kara couldn’t listen to Lena’s heart, her voice was filled with fear. She felt good although not vindicated enough.

“Who’s next?! Andrea Rojas?!” Sooner than later she broke the helmet only to see that somehow she had her image inducer on. She saw a black fabric covering Lena’s left eye. “Lena Luthor?!” She toyed with the woman knowing the raven-haired would sometimes feel little to none self-worthy. “She is the only Luthor alive, after all, and you seemed hell-bent on getting rid of them!” 

More of the helmet broke off under her punches. If that were Lena’s way to say that they were really enemies than she would end with her before the woman decided to break Hell loose on Kara’s city. She was about to take Lena’s helmet when something hit her _hard_ , tackling her on the ground.

—

She was as dead as her family relatives. Well, she would be as dead as Lex and Lillian if she didn’t fight back any time soon.

However, she didn’t want to fight back. Lena didn’t want to hurt Kara no matter how strong the blonde was punching her, no matter how hurtful Kara’s words were. Lena knew better than enraged the Kryptonian more. She had done that hours ago by arguing with her and that almost cost her life.

If Black Steel decided to fight back that would only make the situation worse and she didn’t want that.

Whatever was going on with Kara, Lena had the obligation to let it go for the time being and focus on bring her old self back. What she didn’t expect was Kara to focus on knowing who wore the helmet. Maybe she needed to know who was supposedly trying to take her place as National City champion before ending her. For a split second, Lena thought that Kara had figured out she was Black Steel. It wasn’t impossible but it was unlikely.

Kara was as fool as Lena was at the beginning of their friendship when the signs were obvious but she had chosen to ignore them. And for better or for worse, Lena would use Kara’s blind trust in people better side for a while. She wasn’t ready yet.

Especially after hearing Kara’s side of the story. Her _true_ side of the story.

What she didn’t expect was to Kara being aggressively tackled down out of nowhere. Because she thought she was close to her demise, Lena was confused and lost. She got up from the ground, not minding the dirt and leaves on her suit.

“What… what is happening, El? Who is that?” She asked her A.I. as she tried to gain some balance. Her head was killing her and she was hearing a distracting buzz in her left ear.

“ _That would be miss Sam Arias,_ ” oh, no. What was Sam doing here and how did she know Lena was here? “ _I took the liberty to call her when Supergirl broke your helmet partially_.”

“Fuck,” she cursed hastily. They weren’t near anymore although she could listen to them fighting somewhere. “Where are they? I need to help her!”

“ _They are fighting their way back to National City, miss. May I say that assisting miss Arias would do great damage to the suit’s system? The power is down to twenty-eight percent now and should you need to fly fast mid fighting, power would shut down quickly._ ”

Great. She kicked some bushes. 

“Awesome. What do you suggest then?”

“ _The use of countermeasures,_ ” Lena hated the implications. “ _You did install a protocol for this kind of situation although I could not find any sign of tempered kryptonite on Supergirl’s organism._ ”

That was not possible. If there was no red kryptonite in Kara’s system, what Kara had in her organism that was making her act out of control? The only thing Lena was sure of was that this was not the Kara she knew.

“Follow their route, El,” she instructed after activating the flying propulsors. She directed more power to the propulsors to fly faster. She couldn’t let Sam fight Kara as the brunette didn’t have any training and the blonde was completely out of control.

She caught up to them after several minutes of flying but before Lena could do something, one of them was violently thrown out against a building wall. The wall broke with the impact; the angle of the throw made the Kryptonian break the other wall. Whoever left the building was fine enough to fly to her attacker.

Using the tech she had installed in the helmet, Lena zoomed in the fight to see Kara flying to Sam. Sam, who was wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses, and her hair in a ponytail along with black leggings, sneakers, and a white Supergirl t-shirt. It wasn’t the best cover and if Kara got anywhere near her, she could expose Sam as a Kryptonian, after all, it was just glasses and a ponytail.

(Ridiculous, she knew. Lena really didn’t want to see the Supergirl in Kara and the Kara Danvers in Supergirl although they were always there. Lex wasn’t all wrong; Lena chose not to see it, to not acknowledge it.)

She hit Kara with an energy beam. “Hey, Girl of Steel! Don’t you have a job to finish?!” She teased and pointed at her partially broken helmet. Lucky her she now wore her image induce activated. “I thought you wanted to know who I am!”

That stopped the blonde on her tracks.

“What are you doing?!” Sam shouted from afar. She merely shrugged.

“Come and get it,” she teased further, calling the hero with her index finger. 

“ _May I say that wasn’t clever, miss Luthor?_ ” Her A.I. said. “ _You enraged Supergirl_.”

“Well, at least she is coming from me,” Lena answered mid flying. “Keep the power on the boots, El, and try to recharge, too since the Sun’s still up,” and even though Lena needed all power directed to her flying, she hit some cameras from some news channels that were on and filming this catastrophe. Kara didn’t need bad press now as Sam didn’t need an ounce of attention. They would get anyway but someone needed to do a little damage control here.

“Brainy?” She called.

“ _Ah_ , Black Steel,” she heard him say with reverence, “ _how may I assist you?_ ”

“Please, shut down all the news channels that are here trying to profit with this chaos,” she instructed him politely.

“ _It will be my pleasure_.”

She got to the destroyed CatCo’s camera before Supergirl tackled her down, again, on the pavement. This time the blonde didn’t stop flying as she was forcing the right side of Black Steel’s helmet against the pavement, scratching the metal.

That wasn’t a nice way to have her identity revealed or to die for all that matters but Lena couldn’t escape and even if she could, she wouldn’t.

“ _I took the liberty to redirect the suit powers from flight to the countermeasure, miss Luthor. I suggest you use before it’s too late._ ”

Lena didn’t want to use the countermeasure as she hadn’t test it before. However, she didn’t have time for that now.

“El, activate countermeasure,” she asked out loud knowing Kara would hear.

“What… countermeasure?” The blonde asked gritting her teeth. Her eyes went black before going red with her heat vision. Okay, alright, that was definitely _not_ the effect of red kryptonite. Kara was ready to fire when Black Steel’s armor started to light up; a shy white light appeared in its small gaps.

Supergirl’s eyes lost their heated color and the woman seemed to weaken as the light grew intense, stronger.

“What, what are you doing?” She tried to punch Black Steel’s suit only to scream in pain. “My hand! You… you broke my hand!” Although powerless, the blonde was still angry which confirmed that whatever was in her brain wasn’t linked to her DNA or her planet.

She got up from the ground and pull the hero for an awkward and non-consensual embrace. “I’m taking you out of here,” she explained as Supergirl shout angrily for her to let her go. Lena then instructed her A.I. to power her flight.

“ _The suit won’t hold much longer, miss,_ ” El warned as she flew with an irate Kara Danvers, “ _we only have five percent since maintaining flight and countermeasure on at the same time is consuming power quickly_.”

“I know, El! But we’re almost there!” 

However, being almost at the DEO wasn’t the same as being at the DEO, so when they were really close to its building, Lena had to throw Kara through the balcony while screaming “incoming!”. She boosted her flight before the suit vanished from her body, exposing her tactical black suit, but luckily Lena was in the DEO. Her entrance, however, was even more abrupted than Kara’s; and she struck the blonde as if she were a bowling pin and Lena, an out of control bowling ball.

“Take Supergirl to a containment cell,” she heard Brainy said, “the one with kryptonite,” his voice sounded sad as if he didn’t want to do that.

Lena watched the DEO agents taking Kara to another place. She took a deep breath and that made her whole body hurt. She stayed on the floor, with her legs and arms stretched.

“Are you okay?” She nodded.

All of sudden, someone beside her, knelt. “Oh my God, are you okay? Did Supergirl hurt you?” Sam asked hastily. “God damned woman! Did you really need to line everything with lead?!” That made her laugh weakly.

“‘Am fine…” But she wasn’t, not entirely. Lena realized that when she sat, feeling like she was crushed by a flying bus. The woman barked out another laugh that sounded more like a whimper.

_Flying bus_.

_Fuck_ , she thought, feeling stupid. Kara was right. Lena was being unfair for dismissing _everything_ they had been through together because of Kara’s choice. The woman helped her heal after so many painful happenings and she didn’t even know how much she helped Lena grow as a human being.

Assisted by Sam, she got up from the floor. “I need to help Supergirl…” 

“Help her?! Le--” she looked at her friend pointedly, “Black Steel, she almost killed you!”

“It wasn’t her. She is under something,” Lena explained poorly, supporting her aching body on Sam’s. Good thing she could count on another Kryptonian friend to carry her because now she really needed to be carried.

“Alright, I know this is possible, so I’m going to believe you, but you need medical assistance first,” she knew better than to argue with Sam Arias. She pouted anyway and then she rolled her eyes when she understood what the brunette wanted from her by turning her back at Lena and flexing her knees.

“What? I’m not carrying a grown-ass woman in my arms. You jump in and I give you a piggyback ride to the med bay,” and Lena didn’t want that either, so she climbed Sam’s back. She felt silly and her friend made her feel worse by saying, “also, I’m not your Supergirl to carry you like a damsel in distress.”

“Fuck off,” she cursed quietly feeling her face heated.

Back on Earth 38 when things seemed alright between her and Kara and her and Supergirl, she told Sam about being carried by Supergirl and how that made her feel like a Disney princess even though it was Supergirl carrying her. Lena always thought Superman would never do the same as he always seemed to think that being a Luthor was somehow contagious.

—

Brainy hated using kryptonite on his friend, but Kara was out of control and incredibly angry. Watching her punch the wall with one hand was painful. All he wanted was to help her, however, that meant to understand the device and its energy, and that could take so long.

“She broke her hand punching my suit,” Lena warned him after watching Supergirl hit the glass wall, “she needs medical aid too.”

The woman was fine. Bruised, but fine since no bone was broken while fighting an enraged Supergirl. Still, Lena seemed in pain, although not the physical kind.

He looked at her. She looked positively ridiculous with that fabric covering half of her face. Her tactical suit was nice in its simplicity, but the bandanna she chose to wear was… tacky. Wrong fashion choices aside, Brainy could see her distress. Reading people’s emotional state was still a hard task for him, no matter how helpful and patient Nia had been, but Lena wasn’t hiding her emotions.

As humans said, she was wearing her heart on her sleeve.

“It’s not your fault, okay?” She kept looking at Kara by the security footage.

“Yes, it is. I left her alone, I… I kept running from her when all she wanted was to talk to me.”

He rested his hand on her shoulder and squeezed softly. “You didn’t make her grab the ball…”

She turned to him. “Acts have consequences and she tried to teach me that, but I was too prideful and hurt to see what Kara truly meant. Say what you want, this,” she pointed at the camera, “this is on me. And I’m not martyrizing myself. It’s just facts.”

They went back to the lab to study the ball. Sam Arias was there wearing something as ridiculous as Lena’s underclothes.

“I don’t understand all this science mumbo-jumbo, but these people are saying that the ball is in pain,” Sam said as she handed gloves to Lena and Brainy. “Have you guys figure it out why?”

“No,” Lena said putting the gloves on, “but the ball looks swollen. What happened?” When she touched it, not only the ball grew a few inches but it also shined a bright white light. Its agonizing cry of pain deafened everyone in the lab. 

A _boom_ sound echoed in the lab and all of sudden the ball wasn’t there anymore. This time Brainy saw a portal opening and closing; the ball went through the portal.

“It’s in Supergirl’s cell!” One of the scientists exclaimed.

“What?!” He looked at the camera in the lab, watching the ball expand a bit more before shining bright white. 

“Is that… a red spot?” Lena asked him as she was watching too. The man got closer to the screen to see a bit of red mixed in the white light. The red light started growing as if it was gaining rein over the white light. “That’s not good. We… we have to take Supergirl from there!”

Lena walked out of the lab despise Sam’s and Brainy’s protests.

“We don’t know what that… energy… can do,” he tried to reason with her although he could see in her eyes that she was already set on getting there and help Kara anyway she can.

“Just because she is a Kryptonian doesn’t mean she can handle this, Brainy. Whatever that energy is, is messing with her! I won’t watch it doing whatever it pleases to her,” she resumed walking before he could argue again. Brainy followed Lena to the containment cells.

Kara was screaming in pain and her screams almost matched the pitch noise coming from the ball. They both looked in utter pain.

“It’s hurting her!” Lena was desperate to set Kara free form the cell, typing any number combination in the key attached to the wall.

Brainy could tell her what number to type in, however, he noticed how the lights were growing apart, splitting, at the same some of the red energy left Kara’s body. On the corner of his eyes, he saw Lena giving up and watching what was happening to Kara. The red light escaped from the cell, breaking its glass door. 

They should worry about that now but seeing the white energy light gently embracing Kara as if it were helping her was more important.

“It’s _healing_ her,” he stated, mesmerized. He and Lena exchanged looks.

“I guess we are back at square one, now,” Lena said defeated with a sigh. He typed the numbers in, opening what was left of the shattered door, and waved to Lena walk in first.

Her guilty in this matter was clear even for him as he watched her slowly squatted in front of Kara, who was laid on the cell’s bed in the fetal position. There were an unsaid softness and gentleness in every movement Lena made.

“Hi there you Superlady,” she squeezed Kara’s shoulder and just like that his heart ached for them because when Kara turned her body to look at Black Steel, there was fear and regret in her eyes. She flinched and got up immediately, moving away from Black Steel, clearly scared of herself.

“You… please, leave, I…” Kara looked and sounded so vulnerable that his heart clenched. He had seen his friend badly hurt and wounded, but Brainy never saw Kara emotionally hurt like this before. 

He sighed sadly and looked down, seeing the ball on the floor. Brainy entered the cell and took the ball, keeping it in one of his pockets.

“I’m fine, Supergirl. You didn’t hurt me,” Lena reassured her but that didn’t ease Kara’s heart. “You didn’t expose me.”

Brainy approached Lena. “I’m going to try and locate the other half,” he said before leaving them alone. He squeezed Lena’s shoulder before leaving the cell. Yes, they still needed to talk about her side activities, but today was not the day.

—

Kara wanted to cry.

She should know something was wrong with her the moment she felt a wave of growing anger towards Lena every time she thought of the woman. She had been there before; she should know the drill. But she didn’t.

Every angry word she said, every punch she threw, all of that came back to her, overwhelming the woman.

Kara almost hurt Lena. Twice.

Then, she was flooded with so much more than the memories of what she did today while under the effect of the unknown alien energy.

_Hurting who has wronged you won’t make you feel better._

All the words she had listened to that ringed bells she decided not to hear appeared in her mind.

_I have to forgive myself first before asking people to forgive me for what I’ve done. And I’m not there yet._

Voices that for obvious reasons sounded slightly different from each other.

_We won’t move past this until you stop apologizing and start to see what I’ve been through. I should do the same but I for once know I’m not ready yet._

She looked at the woman in front of her with half of her face covered. Although her eyes were too light, Kara saw the kindness Black Steel was trying to offer her; however, she also saw guilty and something that resembled regret a lot.

“Do you want to talk, Superlady?”

_Duty calls._ She remembered hearing in a modified almost robotic voice. _Duty calls?_ Had said teenager Lena to teenager Kara.

“I…”

Black Steel’s _Hiya there!_ had the same amount of excitement of Lena’s _hi there_ directed to Ruby.

_I was in the neighborhood when I saw you falling._

_You could’ve died if Black Steel wasn’t there to catch you._

Kara was staring, she knew. She blinked. “I’m… your suit, I’m destroyed your suit. I’m so sorry for--”

“It’s okay,” the woman stated easily, but it wasn’t okay. Kara almost ruined Lena’s life twice. She had bottled her frustration and anger for so long that she didn’t realize she was under the effect of something that worked just like red kryptonite.

“It’s not okay! I… I almost exposed you, I almost killed you. How can you say it’s okay?!” Kara really wanted to cry when Black Steel — Lena — smiled.

“Because I know it wasn’t you, Superlady,” she was taken to the memory when Alex used to watch to call her. She landed on Lena’s penthouse afraid to two would attack her after Red Daughter had killed people to frame Supergirl. Lena said so surely they knew it wasn’t her. Hearing something similar to that made her heart clenched.

“How could you know?” She asked quietly, vulnerability hitting her hard.

It was so obvious now.

Of course, Lena would make something she could control remotely; she didn’t want to be arrested for killing her brother, she didn’t want to be seen as a different kind of monster. 

Also, she had said that the _first_ time she killed Lex; she didn’t want to. When Black Steel killed him, she approached his dead body and said _finally_. Kara heard that with her super-hearing.

“Because you’re Supergirl, after all,” Lena’s smile was sure and so, so pretty, “you offer help, hope, and compassion for everyone. I don’t think someone like you could ever do anything bad out of malice or cruelty. That’s just not who you are.” Her chin shook as her lips quivered too. The honesty and earnestness in Black Steel’s voice was all Kara needed to confirm something she has suspected since they started to talk with the other.

Black Steel was Lena Luthor.

And Lena was somehow finally acknowledging that Kara didn’t lie to her because she wanted to make the woman a fool.

“And don’t worry about my suit, I’ll fix it later. But are you ok--” Kara jumped on her, hugging the woman. No words would ever convey what she was feeling. It wasn’t only about guilty but also about all she had said earlier to Lena, about how she treated the woman, about the photo she had seen in Lena’s new place.

Lena — Black Steel — took some time before hugging her back. Kara sobbed when she felt a pair of arms around her, holding her tight.

_When you hugged me tight you didn’t do it because you knew that was the only way I would feel it, so I knew it was real._

She had said to Lena earlier. Oh, Kara shared more than she should and she didn’t feel lighter for that, now. No, she felt bad because she told what she thought and how she felt deep down. She explained why she didn’t share her secret with Lena before; it was a truth she didn’t want to owe it or share it.

Kara sighed not wanting to part, never. Hugging Lena felt good. It was almost like…

“Sorry again, I…” She forced herself to distance herself from Lena, or Black Steel. She wetted her lips and smiled shyly. “It’s always overwhelming when my bad thoughts come to the surface,” she explained herself and then laughed weakly.

Her heart was pounding against her chest.

_I had to give up so much my entire life but at least I had you._

No, no. She can’t be thinking of that. Kara stepped away.

_I killed my brother for you, for our friends! Don't you understand what you've done?_

“Anyway, I… I have a mess to clean, at least in PR terms,” she excused herself meekly before leaving the cell. 

Part of her wanted to say so much more but she was scared of giving the impression she knew Black Steel and Lena were one and the same because she didn’t know how the woman would react. Leaving was for the better, then.

—

Kara declined all calls, no caring to who was calling her. There were several declined calls from Alex and Nia, some from Kelly, a few from Nia but none from Lena. She didn’t know why Lena would call her. As far as she knew, Lena supposedly didn’t know what made Kara acted the way she did since it was Black Steel who stopped her alongside Sam.

However, she had left a note for her friend saying sorry for earlier so, yes, she expected a call from the woman and that didn’t happen yet.

So now she was torturing herself by reliving all things she did today. Remembering what she said to Andrea made Kara thinking that maybe it was better to spend her time looking for a new job than martyrizing herself. She hugged the cushion tighter and pouted while the song she and Lena danced to was playing on her cell phone.

If she closed her eyes, she could see her and Lena at that homecoming dance dancing together to the song.

_There’s so much you still don’t know about me._

Lena said that while they danced, and now Kara was asking herself if the woman was referring to the fact that she was an armored vigilante. Maybe. 

The song changed to one by Rachel Platten when someone knocked on her door. Using her x-ray vision, she saw a pizza delivery guy at her door. She didn’t order anything from any pizza place. Kara sighed as she got up from the couch to answer the door.

“Hi!”

She cut him off before he could say anything else.

“I didn’t order pizza. You got the wrong address, sorry,” she tried her best to not be rude because it wasn’t the delivery guy’s fault he was at her door and she was a bit under the weather.

“Are you Kara Danvers?”

“Yes…?”

“So this pizza is for you.”

“But I didn’t--”

“Order, yes, I heard, ma’am. Some Kiera chick paid forward. So here, take it,” _Kiera_? Kara did her best to not drop the pizza box. “Have a nice night, ma’am!” He said and left before she closed the door.

Kara almost dropped the pizza box after opening the lid to see a drawing of a girl riding a flying bus.

She let out a watery laugh.

Listening to the chorus lines from Stand By You didn’t help Kara to control her emotions. The lyrics simply fitted the moment and what she was feeling. 

_Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through_

_Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you_

So, she cried but for the first time in a long time, it was tears of happiness. Kara could feel it. That was it. They were making amends. After long months of being ignored or even mistreated, Lena was reaching out. There was no way they could go back now. So, Kara would eat the pizza, or, maybe paint something because suddenly she was inspired to put some color on a blank canvas, and then she would text Lena to thank her for the pizza.

And then she would wait for her _friend_ to tell Kara her own secret. If she ever wanted to tell Kara that she is Black Steel. Whatever Lena did regarding that, Kara would respect it and she would never hold against the woman.

—

The woman was not happy now the energy had been expelled from the Kryptonian’s body. Watching from another place, in the comfort of her room, she saw the female Kryptonian smile at her tiny device.

“Our sire won’t be happy if he finds out the energy from the Fatherbox left the Kryptonian’s body,” she sighed deeply, knowing that scolding Desaad wouldn’t do any good.

“Darkseid doesn’t need to know that. Soon the Fatherbox will return to the Kryptonian,” her deep, hoarse voice indicated annoyance. Her plan would work eventually, and Darkseid was a patient man. However, if he paid some heed to Desaad’s words, he would turn impatient.

“Why her? Why not her cousin or the Kryptonian created by sorcery?”

Granny Goodness got up from her chair after turning off her screen.

“Because, you useless scoundrel, the amount of anger that Kryptonian has is what we need for our plan to work. Also, she is the stronger of them, and she will be stronger once she is worthy of the red ring.”

Desaad seemed to consider what to say next.

“Do you really think the Fatherbox will make its way back to her?”

Granny smirked. “Well, now that it’s no longer attached to the Motherbox’s energy, yes, it will. On that note, did you find who created that monstrosity?”

“Yes. A bug from New Genesis named Forager. You don’t need to worry, we handle him.”

She laughed. “Great. Now out. I need to track the Fatherbox.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was hard to write but at last, the story is going somewhere. The next few chapters may have a slower pace because somethings need wrapping up and/or further development. Also, please be kind when leaving a comment.


	11. Of Mothers and Boxes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara doesn't know what to do after giving in to her anger and frustrations. Her thoughts are betraying her. In the meantime, Black Steel gives her first press-conference and that complicates Kara's feelings. Also, in an attempt to find out more about what happened to Supergirl, Lena tries something with that sentient energy trapped in a ball and that backfires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **There are mentions of blood and cutting in this chapter** (no self-harm intented, though), so mind yourself.
> 
> This chapter was one the hardest to write so far but I enjoy it. I hope you guys like it, too. This one is very Lena-centric but moves the main plot a bit further, and it is based on _Inside Out_. If you never watched this Pixar movie I recommended because it is so good! No, no one needs to watch the movie to understand this chapter but it is a nice movie. 
> 
> Also, a reminder: this works in canon complaint till 5x13. After that, it doesn't follow the show anymore.

The lights in the basement are not that bright but they work just fine for Lena. She has turned off the television showing the security footage from Sam’s office at L-Corp because it felt weird to look at that screen and see her friend working or staring back for Sam knows where the camera is hiding.

Sitting on a stool, Lena changes the setting of her image inducer. After leaving the DEO yesterday, she sent a text message to Josh from the number she gave him and asked for new tactical suit ideas. Lena has to admit the kid is talented; not only he sent her a new design for the suit but he also sent ideas for her armor that needs fixing anyway.

Her mind, however, wasn’t on the easy task of changing the settings to give her a new suit. Every now and then, Sam’s words invaded her mind, distracting her.

_What were you thinking?! Going after Supergirl like that? She could’ve killed you!_

They fought yesterday before Lena headed to her home and order a pizza to Kara’s place. Well, it wasn’t much of a fight since Sam did most of the talking.

_Do you even know why you suit up? I can understand why you went after your brother, but what are you doing now? Are you really trying to be a hero, are you really trying to somehow redeem yourself or are you doing that to just get killed?!_

When she heard those words, she sobbed. Crying heavy tears only happened after the brunette mentioned that Ruby worried about her. After that, Lena could only whimper and sob heavily, feeling ashamed for being dismissive of their feelings.

Going home after hearing harsh truths wasn’t easy. Her mind reeled and is still reeling a little, yes. But she will fix; she _has_ to because all she has done so far was to hurt people that care deeply and genuinely for her.

She sighs after finishing to play with the image inducer settings. As Black Steel, she asked for a press conference earlier today. It’s part of her plan to fix things so, later today she will be at the City Hall, speaking for all news outlets that decided to show up.

Her cell phone buzzes with a new message; the sender’s name displayed on the screen is enough to make her close her eyes and take a deep breath. She didn’t know why she sent that pizza to Kara. Yes, she felt bad (awful, actually) for what she has done to the blonde. Kara’s words, even if driven by anger and frustration, were still honest. Kara has finally shared her true reasons for not telling Lena her secret, and the raven-haired woman didn’t know what to do with that information besides feeling awful and guilty about it.

Lena looks at her phone not sure if she should read the message or not. She is struggling with her feelings and thoughts since yesterday.

She used to think she was learning to be a better person (thanks to Kara who was an amazing mentor), she used to think she was leaving the Luthor shadow to be her own person but Kara’s words proved that no, Lena didn’t learn anything and that she couldn’t escape the curse that came with the Luthor name.

For someone who proud herself of changing so much within so little time, Lena did awful things.

Since she shot Lex, since he told her about Kara being Supergirl, Lena is doing questionable or plain awful things. Her choices have been guided by her emotions, but they have been all over the place since last year.

Lena doesn’t know how to come back from that. Maybe that’s why she suits up; Black Steel gives her an opportunity to do things differently even if anonymously.

—

There is a heaviness surrounding Kara after she leaves Andrea’s office. She genuinely thought she would be fired but instead of that, she signed a twenty pages long non-disclosure agreement that could be easily summed up in one page saying if she leaked Andrea Rojas’ side activities, she would be fired and fined.

Nia walks to her, wearing her nervousness on her sleeve.

“So…?” The girl raises her brow, edging Kara to answer. She sighs.

“I’m not fired but if her secret gets out, I will be punished for it even if it’s not my fault,” she shrugs, defeatedly. There is nothing Kara can do to undo what happened; she basically threatened her _boss_ yesterday so, signing the NDA and being benched is nothing compared to what could happen.

“Well, that’s better than unemployment,” Nia tried to lighten up the mood, but it falls short. Then, her features get somber. “Don’t you think we should just… tell her? Like, Acrata has proven to be a nice partner and we know her identity. I don’t know, I think I feel bad especially because Andrea is Kelly’s friend and when something comes up, we all have to give these flimsy excuses to leave whatever we are doing even though she will be there with our heroic personas.”

Nia has a point, and Kara knows that but she doesn’t know if it is the right thing to do. Since her fallout with Lena, she feels bad every time there is the need to tell someone else her secret because usually, the person isn’t in her life for that long.

She texts Lena, noticing Nia angling her neck to see what Kara is doing. The blonde doesn’t ask what her friend wants from her by doing that, she simply sends a _Hi. How are you?_ to Lena before putting her cell phone in her overcoat pocket.

They are not in good terms (far from that) but after thanking for the pizza Lena sent her yesterday, she thinks they are past that hurtful hot and cold dance they were dancing.

“Yes, Nia?” She asks since her friend is still there, looking at her.

“Nothing, it’s just…” She is the one raising her brow questioningly now. Nia just waves her hands around, and Kara thinks she is stalling. “I’m sad that you can’t come with me to the press conference. Can you help me with some questions?”

Oh, _shoot_ , the press conference Black Steel asked for. Black Steel asked for a press conference, and Kara won’t be there.

“Uh, yeah, sure…” If she hasn’t figured out who Black Steel was, she wouldn’t worry or be anxious about the press conference but Kara knows and she also knows that Lena Luthor and press conferences don’t mix well. However, she is the only person who knows the identity of Black Steel. Well, maybe Sam knows too for the woman has appeared to assist the vigilante.

_Of course, Sam would know_ , she thinks, a bit bitter (and jealous), as she follows Nia to the girl’s desk in order to help her come up with some good questions.

—

It is almost 3 pm and she is already suited up or, better saying, she has her image inducer activated. Her new suit looks a lot with The Flash suit but black with some white lines and white boots — no belt on her waist, though. The cowl has a space in the back for Lena’s ponytail. The holes for the eyes are smaller and they have white lenses that cover her eyes. Well, not really because Lena can see perfectly fine, however, who sees her won’t see her eyes. She feels like a character from a comic book dressed like that but it’s better than her old tactical suit that had a striking resemblance with Zorro’s clothes.

However, there is no emblem adorning her chest. Nothing people can draw or use to represent her as emblems are symbols and only real heroes deserve symbols.

Lena is no hero. She dresses up sometimes and helps every now and then, but she isn’t inspirational. Black Steel is a farse, after all.

She takes a deep breath and walks to the podium standing outside the City Hall; there are many microphones set there already but that didn’t stop the reporters to gather up to see her and probably make questions she definitely won’t answer. This is the first time Black Steel talks to the press, of course, it would be a mandatory event for these journalists.

Lena tests one of the mics by tapping it with her index finger and then she smiles hesitantly at the crowd.

“Hi, there,” she waves weakly at them, blinking when the flashes of some cameras hit her eyes. All of sudden, Lena has no social skills to deal with all these people. She, however, forces herself to speak as she asked for this press conference for a reason. After coughing, she holds the podium with an iron grip and resumes to speak. “I’m here today to talk about what happened yesterday. As, as many of you know, Supergirl seemingly went rogue…”

—

“ _…and attacked me after apprehending some aliens that sought justice_ ,” Kara is listening to Black Steel press conference in Andrea’s office with every other CatCo reporters. She bites her lower lip feeling strangely anxious.

“ _But that doesn’t mean we are enemies or that she really went rogue. I… I think it’s unfair of us to, you know,_ turn our backs _at her because she acted out. Like_ ,” she raises her brow when she listens to Lena talking like she didn’t have any oratory class through the years, “ _I get it, she is this untouchable hero with God-like powers but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings or that she doesn’t get angry. We need to stop to expect perfection from the people who risk their lives for us every single day. Supergirl isn’t perfect and_ that _is what makes her the hero National City needs and deserves_.”

Her lips quiver a little and she has to fight the urge to cry. Kara doesn’t remember the last time someone validated her feelings. Hearing Lena of all people doing so made her more sentimental.

“ _And the thing is, she was under the influence of something that made her acted angry and aggressive. You should have known that. You people should have known that because you all claim to love her but you don’t really_ see _her_ ,” Kara senses some anger in Lena’s voice. At least she thinks is anger. “ _She is this kind-hearted hero who would never do the awful things she did yesterday. That wasn’t her so, please stop making mean remarks about her on the internet. I get, she… well, the Supers, they, yes, they are too powerful and that is scary but they are also… they are more compassionate than most of us, humans. So just… just stop being judgmental.”_

Kara takes a deep breath and collects her feelings and thoughts as she is feeling confused by this speech. She knows Lena doesn’t have a clue she figured all out and knows that Lena is Black Steel, however, that doesn’t make the raven-haired words less meaningful; that’s why it is confusing for the blonde because Kara doesn’t know what to expect from Lena anymore.

She focuses on the television, watching Black Steel trying to leave when the reporters start asking her questions. For one split second, she saw Nia on the screen, her hand raised. Black Steel stays and points at Nia.

“ _Where is Supergirl now and why isn’t she here?_ ” Kara rolls her eyes but smiles. Nia knew Supergirl wouldn’t make an appearance; the blonde told her friend that. Brainy advised her to lay low for a while. “ _Did she send you today?_ ”

_Okay,_ what _was that?_ She asks herself surprised that her friend asked that.

“ _I don’t know where she is right now but my guess is that she is healing somewhere else and that’s also why she isn’t here. I can’t, you know, speak for her but maybe she needs some time to, like, process things. And no, she didn’t send me here. I asked for this press conference because I thought I needed to clear some things up._ ”

Kara watches… _oh my God is that Iris?_ She watches Iris raising her hand. Then, after giving more attention to the other reporters, she sees that Lois is there too.

“ _Iris West-Allen for The Citizen. Care to comment on why you killed Lex Luthor?”_

Oh no, that’s not good. Kara can see Lena’s expressions change even from the television because the changes in her features are obvious. The woman seems shocked.

—

Lena knew people would ask her that but she didn’t expect they would be so straight to the point. She swallows hard and holds harder the podium, not noticing her knuckles getting white. Her mouth opens and closed a few times as she looks for words.

She knows why she did that but her answer would reveal who she is and she is not ready for that.

“I… yes, I care. That’ll be all.”

Lena leaves ignoring the uprising of voices with questions. She hears people asking her further questions about Lex but she also hears some reporters asking her if she knows who was the flying lady who helped her. Others ask her about her new tactical suit and if she is a fan of The Flash.

Inside the City Hall and away from the cameras, she activates the cloaking and merges with the place, getting almost invisible. It’s how she escapes the crowd without being noticed by all those people.

God, how she hates press conferences, and even though there was no attempt against her life, this one was the worse so far.

—

Alex knew her sister was lowkey avoiding her but after Brainy advised Supergirl to take some time off from her superhero duties until they have at least one clue about what happened to her and where that red light went, she decided she had enough.

It is Friday night when she uses her key to enter her sister’s apartment. She knew her sister would be there since Nia told her Kara was doing small unimportant pieces for the CatCo website; the girl didn’t explain what happened but Alex knew it had something to do with whatever affected her baby sister this Monday.

Once she enters the place, she sees Kara in front of a canvas supported by its easel, paintbrush in her hand, and a pensive face.

She almost forgets why she is here when she sees her sister painting something as it has been so long since Kara has painted, and it’s nice to see her sister painting again.

“Is that a bus?” She asks, letting her frustrations aside. Alex is still hurt that her sister hasn’t answered any of her messages and has been declining all of her calls but she will address that later. “You never painted non-abstract before,” Alex states, tilting her head to see better her sister’s masterpiece.

“I know… but I’m feeling inspired these days,” she looks at Kara and then sees a couple more canvas. Most of them are abstract, impressionist even, except the one her sister is painting know and one that is sitting in her couch; a portrait of someone that looks an awful lot like Lena Luthor.

Alex wants to ask about this painting but knowing if her sister is really okay is far more important at the moment.

“Why didn’t you text me back after what happened?” The red-head controls her voice to not sound accusatory or angry. She felt angry and hurt at the beginning of this week because all updates regarding her sister’s wellbeing were coming from other people. So, she displays an ease smile for Kara to know that she isn’t here to argue. “I was worried, Kar. Brainy told me what happened and then this Thursday I heard that Black Steel person addressing the subject, but I heard nothing from _you_.”

She moves the painting just a bit to give her some space on the couch. Sitting, she turns her body to Kara’s direction. Her sister continues to paint.

“What happened?” She asks softly knowing this is a sensitive subject to her sister.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Kara shrugs before carefully pressing the paintbrush on the canvas to give more details to her painting.

“Kara…” She whispers. “I’m here for you and I won’t judge you for whatever you have done,” Alex states surely. She keeps her eyes lock on her sister’s figure. Kara seemed fine minutes ago but now she is tense.

The blonde moves away from the painting and puts the paintbrush inside a cup of dirty water that rested on the tv rack. She sighs before sitting on one of the armchairs; she looks vulnerable and sad, and that breaks Alex’s heart for she hates seeing her baby sister looking powerless and lost.

“I…” Kara clears her throat and rolls her eyes as if she was forcing herself to speak, “I basically blackmailed Andrea by saying I knew she is Acrata to get Lena’s new address and I went there to confront her about, about, uh,” the blonde fidgets with her fingers and avoids looking at Alex, who waits patiently for her sister to keep talking. Kara adjusts her glasses on her face, clicks her tongue, bites her lower lip, and then gets up from the couch. Alex has never seen her sister displaying so much restlessness.

She gets up too and stops Kara’s pacing back and forth by holding her by her arms. “Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk. Sorry for pressing you. I’m just worried. Brainy and Nia didn’t tell me much of what happened. All I know is that the weird device that turned you and Lena into teenagers made you act on your frustrations but… but if you don’t feel ready to talk, it’s fine. I just… please know that I’m here, Kara.”

Out of the blue, she is mildly crushed in a hug. She hugs her baby sister back, feeling how much Kara needs silent support right now. There are things that words are not enough to express, at least for the time being. Whatever her sister is going through, Alex will respect her time of processing no matter how much it pains her to see Kara looking so lost and out of words.

They break the hug, and Alex smiles softly at her sister when she adjusts Kara’s loose hair strands.

“What do you think about watching a movie? I’ve got no plans for the night.”

Kara falters a bit. “I… I want to be alone if that’s okay.” Alex wasn’t expecting to hear that; however, she complies.

“Yeah, sure. Anything you want. Just… don’t ignore my texts next time?” She suggests with a hesitant smile. Her sister nods sheepishly.

Alex leaves Kara’s place after giving a quick hug and a kiss on her cheek. Deep down, she knows that whatever is troubling her sister it has to do with Lena. Maybe is time to swallow her pride and her recklessness and go to talk to Lena like the adults they actually are.

—

Kara understands Brainy’s reasons to cancel Ruby’s training session with Supergirl but that doesn’t mean she didn’t feel sad when he told her the news himself. Also, since Sam was the one who helped Black Steel to fight Supergirl, Kara doubted the woman would let her daughter be anywhere near Supergirl before the DEO agents have at least one solid information about those sentient energies.

Ruby not going to the DEO to train meant that Lena wouldn’t be there too. Lena answered Kara’s latest text saying she was fine and asking how Kara really was; the woman added she watched Black Steel press conference on her lunchtime.

She didn’t know what to answer. Kara didn’t want to force Lena to tell her secret but she didn’t know if she could play this game — no caring about how hypocrite she would sound. In addition to not wanting to indulge Lena, the blonde was ashamed for snapping out at the woman. Not only she was feeling bad for hurting her friend but she was also confused about some of the things she has revealed.

_I liked being selfish and to have you all for me. You were mine and I was yours._

The way she has pressed her body on Lena’s wasn’t friendly nor menacing and in the end, whatever it was she wanted to talk to Lena about, she didn’t. Her anger took the best of her and she choked the other woman.

Kara felt awful and embarrassed. These and other emotions like guilt and regret overwhelmed her and she ended up not replying to Lena’s text.

A new week has started and all of her inspiration dried out as quickly as it came. She skipped the Game Night at Alex’s because she wasn’t in the mood for games; it could be awkward since Kelly invited Andrea and she wanted to avoid any awkwardness.

She has finished reviewing some articles written by her co-workers. No rewriting was done as she didn’t want to mess with anyone writing style, however, proofreading more than five long articles was enough to make her eyes tired. Kara blinks and a long, teary yawn follows. The woman is ready to hit the shower before going to bed.

That’s when someone knocks on her door. Using her x-ray vision, Kara sees a delivery girl holding a pizza box from the same place Lena has sent the other pizza.

She opens the door and says the same thing she said the first time, that she didn’t order pizza and the girl answers that someone named Lena has ordered and gave this address. Kara feels silly when the delivery girl says Lena’s name. She is also confused by the way her heart beats in her chest.

After thanking the girl for the pizza and closing the door, Kara carefully opens the lid. She barks out a laugh almost dropping the pizza box on the floor. There is a drawing of Supergirl wearing her anti-kryptonite suit and the words _It’s suiting up time!_ written on the lid inner side.

Kara goes to the kitchen and sets the pizza box on the kitchen counter. She grabs her cell phone inside her back pocket, ready to send a text or even an audio message to Lena when she is filled with dread as the blonde suddenly remembers the woman’s explanation on quantum entanglement.

_In crude terms, the quantum entanglement theory preaches that if and when two particles are entangled, a change in one will affect the other. That means if something happens to The Flash, his wife will be affected._

She didn’t answer Lena’s last text and now the woman sends her a pizza two days after Kara being radio silent?

_A change in one will affect the other._

Kara is not changing but she is acting off — that much she knows about herself. She nervously taps her ring finger on the counter while biting her lips.

_You could say that this is the idea of soulmates at a subatomic level._

She swallows hard when Eros’ words make their way back to her mind.

_If you insist on treating love as a weakness, weak you shall become. For love when felt fully is strength and burning fire. Love when felt completely with its faults and all, is powerful._

Kara shakes her head and puts her cell phone aside on the counter. What is happening and why she is thinking about all of these now?

—

Lena yawns and blinks her eyes as she enters the DEO lab.

It is a beautiful Saturday morning. The Sun shines outside the tall building and its rays of light brighten the main room. She is tired since she slept late; she was finishing to fix her Black Steel armor even though she wasn’t sure if she would ever suit up again.

No, the Black Steel press conference didn’t backfire as she expected after being asked about killing Lex. That wasn’t the problem. The problem lies in Sam’s words and in her own hypocrisy.

Being asked why she was still suiting up is making her revaluate a few things, yes, but it’s lying to Kara that is driving her insane. How could she hold Kara’s lies against the woman if she is doing the same thing now? Is Lena that awful after all?

She yawns again after saying good morning to the scientists in the lab. Brainy is there, too, talking to Doctor Dawkins.

“…so, since what happened to Supergirl, the ball stopped reacting to your stimuli?” Lena heard him asking the other woman. Her eyes drift away from them to the ball but then they stop when she sees _Supergirl_ standing in a corner, eating a donut.

Lena wants to go over there and asks if the hero is okay. Since that Monday, Kara has been distant. They were distant before and after the crisis and things didn’t get better after defeating Leviathan although they couldn’t escape the other. Now it feels even worse because no matter how hard she tries to reach out to Kara, the blonde dodges her; she takes days to answer her texts _if_ she answers them and she isn’t stalking Lena at the gym anymore. She knows because after the last time Kara showed up, Lena started to wait for her to appear there — and Kara wasn’t popping out there anymore.

Seeing Kara there was oddly one of the few highlights of her day and she didn’t notice until the blonde stopped showing up.

She waves at the hero anyway knowing now that ignoring her won’t do any good.

_I liked being selfish and to have you all for me. You were mine and I was yours._

Kara’s words invade her mind. The rawness of that confession still haunts Lena in the quiet of the night when she is whether reading a random novel that won’t add anything in her life or fixing the suit.

_I had to give up so much my entire life but at least I had you._

Lena looks away when she realized they are in a staring contest. She turns to Brainy and forces a polite smile to him.

“No update so far?” She asks although knowing the answer. Brainy smiles at her.

“Ah, Lena, thank you for coming. Your help is appreciated,” he states solemnly making her blush a bit. Lena knows that Brainy knows about her being Black Steel — he is from the future; how could he not know? — but it’s unsettling to be treated so kindly by at least one of the Superfriends since none of them were at her side when things when sideways. No one tried to talk to her after she revealed she already knew about Kara being Supergirl because Lex told her. It was like they didn’t actually care for her.

However, seeing the genuine happiness in Brainy’s features when he thanks her, Lena gets confused and torn apart thinking not everything was a lie like she believed it was.

“And unfortunately no. The ball hasn’t done a thing,” he informs, his face showing signs of frustration.

“Not even that pitched agonizing sound,” Doctor Dawkins completes.

After leaving her purse on a stool, Lena takes a pair of gloves from the glove box over the counter and puts them on. Then she takes the ball on her hands unceremoniously.

“So you are saying that after the splitting, the ball is quiet?” She analyzes the ball closely and sees that its hole is bigger than before. She can see nothing, however, and the ball feels lighter, too. “Don’t you find that odd?”

“Oh, you are onto something, Lena Luthor,” the man sounds almost cheerful and she simply frowns at him.

“Maybe. I… I can’t explain what made me and Kara turned into teenagers but… but maybe there were two opposite beings inside this ball. I mean,” she turns to Brainy but then looks at Supergirl, “don’t you think it’s at least questionable that the same ball that made you acted on your anger was the one that healed you? And, and,” her eyes move to Brainy when Kara starts walking to her, “maybe that is why me and Kara were fixed without doing anything! That would explain why the ball was emitting that painful cry!”

“Because it was really in pain…” doctor Dawkins says, “as if it was fighting itself.”

“Exactly!” Lena voices, excited for getting somewhere. She puts the ball aside on the counter and takes off her gloves. “If this part has healing properties--”

Brainy walks to her. “Lena, what are you doing?”

She takes the first thing that can cut through the skin — a scalpel.

“--then we need to test it--” she grunts as she cuts her left palm.

“Lena, don’t do this, we don’t know if--” Kara finally speaks, sounding worried but Lena misses the way the blonde’s voice sounds.

“--to see if that’s the truth,” Lena grabs the ball with her cut hand. The blood gets on the ball that finally shows some reaction by shining its bright white light.

The light wraps Lena’s left hand. There is a burning sensation that grows from the inside out, and Lena can feel the wound being healed not so slowly. She takes the ball with her other hand to show the final result of her experiment.

“There we go,” she displays her hand whimsically by moving her fingers and waving at all people in the lab. “All we need to do is…” her head starts pounding as her right hand burns a bit, “to, to hone this energy and maybe, uh, maybe…” She looks at Kara and notices the blonde figure getting blur. Brainy is blurred, too. Suddenly, she can’t hear them nor see their worried faces.

Lena feels a hot pressure in her head before closing her eyes and giving in to… sleep?

—

Suddenly, she opens her eyes and sits straight. Lena’s head is pounding lightly which is odd because she didn’t have a headache seconds before. She looks around while getting up from the ground.

There is a countless number of huge tall shelves stocking shining colorful balls that resembled bowling balls with no hole for the holder’s fingers. Lena slowly turns without moving from her spot, taking the place in. Aside from the endless shelves with corners that probably lead nowhere, there is a cliff. She doesn’t go near the edge but she sees miles away from where she is an island of some sort with tall statues she doesn’t recognize from afar.

“Where the fuck am I?” Lena voices walking into the maze of shelves. The place is oddly familiar for some unknown reason. Before she enters the maze, someone calls her.

“Lena?”

She freezes as she _knows_ this voice. _That can’t be possible_ , Lena thinks to herself, closing her eyes and inhaling a good amount of oxygen before turning her body to the direction the voice came from; she exhales as she turns, and as soon as she recognizes who the person is her eyes waters. The glistening of the tears blurs her vision but she still can see the other woman. Lena would recognize the auburn wavy hair anywhere. She blinks her tears away and sniffs.

“ _Mom?!”_ The woman smiles gently and fondly to her, and Lena runs to her, crushing her in an embrace. She squeezes her mom, pressing their bodies together as she allows herself to feel; vulnerability, despair, fear, happiness. Lena hides her face in the nape of her mother’s neck, sobbing as the tears fall heavily. Her mother is hugging her; it holds all the warmth and love she has been craving for so long. “Am I dead?” She asks sheepishly not letting her mom go.

“No, my dearest,” her mother’s voice is soft and kind, full of love and care, just like Lena remembers. Her mother breaks their hug and gently wipes Lena’s tears dried. “And I am afraid I’m not your mother.”

Lena takes a few steps back, frowning. “What? You… you look just, you look just like her,” she states, looking around once more. “Where, where am I if I’m not dead?” She is scared and confused.

Beyond the cliff, there is a tower that is taller than the shelves and the statues. There are a wide window and five people standing there, watching her from afar.

She looks back at the woman, her mother. Her green eyes sparkle with the same kindness Lena remembers her mother’s eyes had. There is a silent gentleness, an unspoken _I love you my dearest_ in the way her eyes shine. That glow is the same now as it was before.

The woman walks to Lena, smiling. “You can call me Mom or Mother if you so desire. I thought this form would make you warm up better to me,” she explains but that doesn’t make any sense to Lena. However, the woman carries on. “We are inside your mind. This is all of your memories so far.”

Another look at the endless clutter of shelves. _Her_ memories. That’s a lot.

“And you are…?” Lena inquires, still feeling skittish about all that is happening. She was at the DEO lab. How come she is in her own mind now?

“Motherbox,” the woman answers with a casual wave of hands and an easy smile. “Come, let me show you around.” She offers Lena a hand and although the raven-haired woman knows better than to take it, she accepts the Mother’s hand, holding her hand in a tight squeeze. Whoever or whatever the Motherbox actually is, she knows how to cater to Lena’s feelings and deepest desires.

They walk side by side, holding hands. Lena gets it — she is not her mother but she looks like her right now, and she will always miss her mother, she will always want to hold her mother’s hand and be guided by her.

If they are in her mind, what is the problem in indulging herself a bit before this ends? If this is some strange dream, why not enjoy it while it lasts? After all, it has been a while since Lena allowed herself to be happy.

They stroll slowly as if the Mother is allowing Lena to take the place in as they walk into the clutter of shelves. As soon as they get to a corner, she notices some of the shelves don’t have the colorful balls displayed but rather cardboard boxes. However, that doesn’t seem to get Mother’s attention when she stops walking.

“That place is the Headquarters,” she starts after turning to look at the tall tower past after the cliff. Lena turns to look the place, too. “It’s the place where your five primal emotions are.” Lena raises her brow.

“Five?” She squints but she can’t see the five little beings she saw minutes ago. “That’s not a lot,” Lena states, making Mother laugh; the sound resonates with her as it is her mom’s laughter. It’s a free sound of her happiness that takes Lena to easier and better times when they would laugh about the silliest things. This sound fills her but also breaks her heart in a million pieces.

“All people have only five emotions but they get mixed especially after childhood ends. Emotions are never easy and they do get more complex given the years.”

Lena looks at some of the balls — her memories, supposedly. Only a few have one color. Instinctively she reaches for the only yellow ball displayed in the shelf they are close to and as she rolls the ball on her hand, the memory unfolds for her. The very first time she rode a horse with no one with her for safekeeping. She remembers how exhilarating she felt in the moment for being capable of riding with no assistance or whatsoever. Only her and the horse.

“That’s a happy memory,” Mother explains to her. “You don’t have many of them,” there is sadness in her voice, and Lena can tell it’s a genuine feeling even if that being only looks like her mom.

She places the memory back on the shelf and takes a better look. Her memories are mostly blue mixed with the other colors. There is a lot of memories painted in green and blue. Lena starts remembering why this is all familiar to her.

“There is this… movie… for kids,” Lena lifts her eyes to Mother only to see the woman smiling encouragingly at her. “Ruby made me watch with her and Sam. It was the first time I went to the movies after…” she lets out a watery laugh. “After a long time,” Lena knows when it was the last time she went to the movies but she avoids remembering it because it’s a bittersweet memory involving Andrea Rojas.

“Why am I here?” Lena finally asks, not only knowing but believing they are inside her mind. “Why we are inside my mind?” Mother smiles brightly this time. It physically hurts on Lena to see someone with her mom’s looks smiling happily at her. Since she was adopted by the Luthors, she doesn’t know what it’s like to be the cause of such a happy smile for a mother for Lillian has never smiled proudly at her.

They continue to stroll, and Lena finally sees Mother has a backpack in her back. She hasn’t realized that the being had a backpack before but she waits for the woman to say something. Suddenly, they stop close to the shelves filled with cardboard boxes. They were close to these shelves and now they are in front of them.

She watches in silent the Mother pulling the backpack to her front by taking off one of its straps and after opening the bag, the woman takes a memory painted in blue and yellow. If Lena remembers correctly, blue is for sadness and yellow for happiness or, better yet, joy. She steps in when Mother plays the memory.

_“What’s done?”_

_“Lex Luthor.”_

_“You wanted to hurt him or Lena Luthor?”_

_“Does it really matter, now? He’s dead and everyone thinks of me as a murder. The thing is, Lady of Steel, I have to forgive myself first before asking people to forgive me for what I’ve done. And I’m not there yet.”_

Lena remembers that conversation. She thought Kara was suspicious of her being Black Steel but she still revealed in all her honesty that she wasn’t ready to move on. She looks at Mother, whose smile never falters.

“That is why we are here, my dearest. It’s time for you to heal, it’s time for you to forgive yourself.”

—

Kara is losing her mind and not even pacing back and forth seems to calm her down. She has screamed at Brainy to figure out a way to wake up Lena because she couldn’t lose her… friend? Rao, she didn’t even know on what terms they were in and now she is close to losing Lena again.

Maybe forever.

“Pacing won’t help, Supergirl,” Brainy states, softly. She knows seeing Lena lying unconscious in a bed affects him as well but it’s different. Brainy wasn’t Lena’s _best_ friend for three years or so. He may respect the woman for her brains and wits, and they could have bonded over their great intellect, but his sadness would never match Kara’s.

“I know! I know… I… have you called J’onn again? Maybe he can help us,” her voice sounds hoarse and broken.

She knew the moment Lena cut her hand to prove her point something bad would happen, however, Kara could have never guessed the energy living inside the ball would put Lena in a forced coma.

“He is busy at the moment. Superhero duties,” he explains shortly. “Please, Supergirl, try to remain calm,” his despair is too much for the blonde to handle because Brainy doesn’t know what is in line for her if Lena, if her… _no, that_ won’t _happen. I won’t allow it_ , she cuts her own train of thoughts.

Getting angry at Brainy and pouring out her frustrations on him won’t do any good. Kara wouldn’t feel lighter, she knows that, but it is hard not acting out when there is nothing they can do.

She sits at the chair at the bedside and takes Lena’s left hand on hers. “I… you, you don’t get it, Brainy, I can’t…” her right leg fidgets nervously. Kara doesn’t see nor hear the man getting close to her so, she startles when a hand it’s on her shoulder.

“I know you can’t and I’m sure we, _you_ won’t but she needs you in your best shape to help her beat whatever is happening to her right now.”

Kara squeezes Lena’s hand softly and swallows her tears. “I… I know that, I know, it’s just…” She doesn’t finish her sentence because the medical devices announcing normal brain functions start to beep loudly. “What, what is happening?” She looks at Brainy, that has walked closer to the devices to get a better look at the readings.

“That’s… Her brain activity is very high for someone in a coma. I… I don’t know what is happening or how this is possible,” Kara is on the verge of crying. “I’m… going to call J’onn again!” He announces before leaving the med bay.

She collapses on the chair, finally allowing herself to cry.

“Please, don’t… don’t leave me now. Not when we were so close to, to begin again. I can’t lose you, Lena, you know that.” Her voice sounds small and vulnerable, and that is exactly how she feels right now. Once again Kara takes Lena’s hand and kisses its back. “We have so much to talk about yet, Lena. I have so much apologizing and forgiving to do. _Please_ …”

Kara sobs quietly, hiding her face on the back of Lena’s hand. This isn’t how things should happen, not after everything they have been through together.

—

Lena doesn’t believe is time for her to heal nor to forgive herself. She has done terrible things after her brother told Kara’s secret as he bled out to his death.

“I… I don’t think I’m ready, I--”

Mother interrupts her.

“Need to do some unboxing?” There is not a hint of judgment in her voice. Mother clearly isn’t here to point fingers at Lena for what she has done in the past. If this is the same sentient being that expelled that other energy out of Kara’s organism so, maybe, Lena is in good hands.

She glances at the boxes pile up on the shelves. Out of the blue she is overwhelmed with shame; the knowledge of shoving feelings deep down in boxes hitting her hard.

“You have such a strong will, Lena, but you misuse the willpower you have.”

For some unknown reason, she casts her eyes to the Headquarters where her five emotions are watching Lena and Mother from far away.

“I know I have been using boxes to shove down my feelings more than I should have, but I…” She lowers her eyes to the ground and bites her lower lip. “I didn’t want to deal with, I don’t know, stuff. Whenever it gets too much I, I resort to the boxes.”

Mother walks to her and squeezes her shoulder gently.

“Yes, I can see that. There are things that are better if kept in boxes, indeed, however…” The woman sighs and puts some distance between them, opening her arms wide. “You know where you are. Isn’t there anything off here, Lena? Look around you. Besides the boxes, what else is wrong here?”

Lena does as Mother says and looks around. She looks at the statues located on the only island of her mind. That’s the other thing off with her mind. The only living Luthor has only one Island of Personality and this island is shut down.

She clears her throat before speaking, embarrassed by this fact. “I have only one Island of Personality and apparently that island is down.” Mother doesn’t smile reassuringly this time.

“Exactly. Do you know why?” Lena says no with her head. “Because after your older islands crumbled, you didn’t allow the new core memories you had to form new ones. You held them back.”

As explanatory the movie is, she didn’t know that was even possible.

“That’s how powerful your mind is, my dearest,” the Mother’s smile is melancholy and that earnestness in her every word and every smile makes Lena’s heart clench. “But you have been using all your will to avert your own growth.” She chokes on unshed tears, showing not only honesty but strength. Lena, however, is crying again.

“I’m, I’m scared.”

The woman steps into Lena’s personal space once more. “Of what?”

“What… what if I’m not a good person? What if all my new core memories make me a bad person? I…” She sobs and then dries her tears with the sleeve of her blouse. “I’ve done terrible things since…” Mother holds her by her shoulders, not just comforting Lena but also gently edging her to keep talking. “Lex and, and Kara, and I… I don’t know if I can…” She swallows thickly, feeling like she just swallowed her words. “What if I am a bad person now?”

“I don’t think a bad person would be asking that,” Mother says quietly and fondly, tucking a loose strand of Lena’s hair behind the young woman’s ear.

“What…” Lena takes a deep breath as she tries to control her emotions and stop crying. “What island is that?” Mother offers her hand to Lena again.

“Let me show you,” she says after Lena takes her hand.

Suddenly, they are on the island after teleporting there somehow. Lena wants to ask how they got on the island that fast, however, all of her natural curiosity leaves her the moment she gets a better view of the island. What she sees there makes her sniff loudly.

“It’s… it’s…” Lena points at the figures standing tall. Her knees go weak and all of sudden the woman can’t stand her own weight. “Sam and, and Ruby, and… I…” she speaks quietly not quite believing her eyes. The statues have no recognizable facial features but deep down Lena _knows_ who the statues represent.

Crying at this point feels dull as she has shed so many tears but it feels freeing, too, to just let all her feelings out.

“Is this…” She is scared to ask such a thing only to be wrong. She asks anyway. “Is this my Family Island?” Lena glances at Mother but soon she looks around to see the details on the island. There is a Big Belly Burger place and a couch that resembles a lot of Sam’s couch. She takes in all the small details that make this island her Family Island.

“Yes, it is,” Lena shouldn’t be surprised by that even though she is.

She looks at the woman at her side, still holding her hand. “Sam and I fought a few weeks ago. I still haven’t talked to her. I… I’m ashamed,” Lena admits sheepishly.

“I know that. Once I entered your mind to help you, I sensed that this island was on thin ice,” if someone slapped Lena across her face, the pain wouldn’t match what she felt after hearing that. She bites her lip and squeezes Mother’s hand. For a moment she pictures it’s her actual mom and not some sentient energy that is trying to make her feel less weird out while helping her. For a fraction of seconds, Lena closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She is as scared as she was when she saw her mom drown, as scared as she was when she finally met the ugly, dark side of each Luthor, Lex included. However, she knew she had to ask one more thing before doing whatever it takes to heal.

“What happens if I lose all my Island of Personality?” Although necessary, Lena doesn’t want to know the answer. Part of her knows, deep down, what may happen to her if her last island crumbles down. She has been feeling hollow and empty for the past year, after all, so she knows something worse than that may happen to her.

Her mom-- _Mother_ does not answer her; she only offers a hard hand squeeze and a sad, knowing smile that says enough. Some things are better left unsaid.

Lena clears her throat. “You said that I didn’t allow the new core memories to make new islands because I held back these memories. Where, where are these memories?”

“Boxes.”

_Of course_ , she thinks to herself.

“We will take a shortcut,” Mother states sounding strangely off. Lena doesn’t know this being, even though she looks and talks like her mom, but she somehow knows something is off.

“Why?”

“Firstly, you can’t be here for too long. In addition to that, someone is trying to pry on what is happening inside your mind. I have to take you to somewhere safe and far from the memory dump,” out of the blue, they are surrounded by shelves but of boxes.

“Memory dump?” Lena should remember about this part but she had fallen asleep half-way through the movie. She watched the first half when almost everything about the human mind was explained but she didn’t resist and slept the second half as she was very tired. Ruby didn’t seem to bother, though.

“It’s where all the memories with no relevance to you go to be forever forgotten. Some of your past core memories were there before they vanished completely. Now, if _you_ end up there, you will suffer brain death.”

_Oh_.

“Um, oh, okay. So, uh, um, let’s get down to business?”

She is scared of being trapped inside her mind forever unable to escape, to wake up. It is as scary as waking up as someone inherently bad after rebuilding her islands.

—

Brainy watched J’onn land on the balcony and, without further explanation, guided him to the med bay. There was no time to explain why the Martian was needed at the DEO but as they walked to the med bay, he told the man what happened in short sentences.

Kara may not see it because Lena is her _best_ friend, but Brainy cares deeply about the woman, too. Not like her — _never_ like her — but he does. The man considers her his friend although he had left Lena to her own devices after Kara told him and the others what the woman had done with her brother. Now he feels guilty as he watches J’onn trying to reach for Lena somehow.

He is as nervous and anxious as Kara because he should remember what happened today but he doesn’t since all the memories of all possibilities of future got mixed inside his head. Before what happened with Supergirl involving the sentient ball, Brainy hadn’t bothered to force himself to remember what was real and concrete and what was only a possibility that would never happen. He knows that parts of the future still may change since nothing is completely set in stone and that is what really frustrates him; remembering what feels definite won’t matter anyway because it may change.

After what felt long and excruciating minutes of waiting, J’onn grunts and backs away from Lena’s bed.

“I’m sorry but whatever this sentient energy is doing to Lena’s mind, it’s blocking me,” J’onn’s apologies sound genuine. He may not like Lena because of everything she has done in the past several months, but his empathy is bigger than his pride. However, the man has a pensive look in his face that haunts Brainy for some odd reason.

“J’onn, what… what is it?” Kara is the one that asks, sounding concerned.

“It’s just that… this mind-blocker feels almost the same that the one Black Steel uses,” he answers, still thoughtful. Kara looks at Brainy, her eyes wide open, and he understands what her features tell him, whether on purpose or not — she _knows_. How the blonde figured out that Lena is Black Steel doesn’t matter; she knows and she is panicking because of J’onn suspecting of something.

“So, you, um, do you think Black Steel may be related to this sentient energy?” It’s not the best diversion but it’s the best he can do in such short notice.

“I don’t know. Maybe?” Brainy glances over Kara, who sighs in relief. He frowns at seeing J’onn looking at Lena’s right hand. “What is that?” They all get near the bed. J’onn tries to open Lena’s hand. “She… she is holding on to something but her grip is too strong,” he says, still trying to open her hand.

“The ball,” Brainy voices. “It didn’t fell on the ground, that’s why we couldn’t find it. She was, _is_ still holding it! We, we have to take it out of her,” he loses his cool. If the ball damaged Kara’s brain badly after being held for mere seconds, minutes, Brainy does not want to know what it can do if someone holds it for more than half an hour. He looks Kara, and she gets what he is asking her to do.

However, not even someone inhumanly strong as a Kryptonian is capable of making Lena let go of the ball.

“She is not… I can’t open her hand. Brainy, I… I can’t!” There are despair and fear in Kara’s voice and her features show she is genuinely afraid of what may happen to their friend. “J’onn, try, try again, please.”

“I’m afraid I can’t, Supergirl. If I push too hard I could damage her brain,” the man sounds apologetical.

“No! You, you can’t give up! Lena, she needs us, she, she can’t be trapped inside her own mind!” While Kara allows her concerns to turn into rushed words said in a distressed tone, she tries to make Lena loosen her grip on the ball but her attempts are in vain. “J’onn, _please_!”

She is agitated, Brainy can see that, but it takes him looking the blonde in her eyes to understand the reason for Kara to be so out of control of her own emotions. He thinks he is silly and a bit naïve as it is written all over his friend’s face. The worry and fear turning into despair and edginess, twisting her demeanor as the seconds go by and they don’t find any solution to help Lena waking up.

It is love.

Kara feels intense love for Lena. The kind of love that blinds people and that makes hearts clench in fear of losing the one they love profoundly. It is a love that crosses the lines of friendship. It is the love that Brainy feels for Nia, and he sees Kara’s worries match his when Nia is in danger.

He walks to Kara and pulls her aside Lena’s bed by grabbing her softly by her shoulders.

“Breath, my friend. We will find a way to bring our Lena back,” he says firmly even if he doesn’t have any solution in mind. It is a silent promise he is making to Kara, and he thinks she understands that as she nods trying to gain control over her emotions.

—

The cluster of shelves with the boxed memories is scary and dark since the natural and colorful light from the memories doesn’t shine. Each corner they turned to fetch another core memory that is boxed with normal memories, Lena shivered afraid to see something, anything really, that could scare her.

“It’s quite impressive, I must say. All memories attached to a moment you didn’t want to revisit is here instead of your subconscious,” the woman speaks sounding genuinely fascinated by Lena’s mind. “I cannot enter there without you, by the way. So, if some of your worse memories are here, I supposed your subconscious imprisoners your true fears,” she says casually as she grabs one very shine memory to put inside her backpack.

“Why?” Lena asks out of the blue. “I mean, why can’t you enter my subconscious without me?”

Mother smiles warmly at her, making her heart hurt and clench for it is so damn hard to remind herself that this being is only impersonating her mom. All her mom’s mannerisms are there when Mother smiles or calls Lena her dearest in that voice that made her feel loved and cared for.

“Because of the power you have over your mind. I’ve told you that, Lena. You may have been using the will you have over your mind wrongly but you are full of will and determination. You are bold and strong-willed but somewhat misguided.”

They teleport to another shelve where the last core memory Lena has boxed is. She may not feel ready to do this (she is actually frightened by the aftermath) but she knows she needs to rebuild herself. Lena would like to know Motherbox’s reason to help her, though, but whenever she tried to ask the being’s reasons for doing this, Mother would comment on something on Lena’s strong will or unfaltering hope she felt for humanity.

With all core memories Lena has left stored in Mother’s backpack, it was time to take a stroll down on memory lane.

“Remember, my dearest, some of these core memories are from when you were younger while others are very recent. You can pick an old core memory but you can’t pick all core memories you have because some of them wouldn’t match the others,” she nods at Mother’s words. Lena gets what the woman just explained in the lamest way possible. She can’t choose a core memory where she is brave and another where she is frightened.

They sit on the floor before Mother hands over the backpack to Lena. She feels anxious and her heart rate is off charts.

Biting her lower lip, Lena takes out one core memory and it’s surprising to see a full yellow memory shining bright meaning that she had at least one happy core memory in her life. She turns the yellow ball slowly, carefully watching the memory unfolds.

Seeing her entering Sam Arias’ home when her friend still lived in Central City only to be welcomed by the birthday girl with a warm hug and an honest-to-God excited smile. Lena knows she felt welcomed not only in the Arias home but as well in their family. The memory warms her heart at the same time it brings the guilt back. She didn’t think Sam would worry for her; Lena didn’t dismiss the feelings of a great friend, she…

…dismissed the feelings of, of her… her _sister_ and the feelings of her niece. When she went after Supergirl to do some damage control, Lena didn’t think how worried sick her _family_ would be. Then Sam appeared in the most ridiculous outfit to hide her identity in hopes to rescue Lena of being exposed or, worse, killed.

Because _that_ is what real siblings do for each other.

And that is her Family Island, she knows it, and she will keep it and cherish it because Sam and Ruby are the best people Lena has ever known and she wants to be part of their family.

Lena hands the core memory to Mother. “This one stays,” she states quietly as she tries her best not to cry. _God_ , she has been crying since the moment she woke up here and saw her mom. Mother assents and holds steadily to the memory. Lena takes another core memory and this is painted with blue and green; she asks herself of what feeling can be made from the mix of sadness and disgust.

When she sees the memory of her being scolded by the drama teacher of her boarding school for expressing she would like to audition for the role of Danny Zuko although the character was male, she knows what feeling is made of sadness and disgust — self-loathing.

She just wanted to be part of the musical and she loved John’s Travolta role in Grease. She knew the show was a collaboration between boarding schools, a way to mix boys and girls but she didn’t care for that.

At the time she was only a teenager trying to find who she was amongst people. That moment of humiliation made Lena shut down completely any desire of being an actress or a singer although she really loved the idea of performing. She also loved the idea of taking care of animals, being a vet. It took some time for her to adapt to her new life at the Luthors but the woman remembers what she loved the most — the possibilities. Before wanting to cure people, she aspired to be so many things.

When she was nine, she thought she could be an actress who was also a vet and also fix machines like cars and dishwaters. She also remembers how each and all possibility was shut down, most of them by her family.

Lena tosses this memory aside not wanting to ever feel this way again. The self-loathing had only brought self-doubt; it prevented her to know herself fully.

She grabs the next one and this core memory is yellow and red. It’s the day she wore her Black Steel suit again to stop a robbery. Lena doesn’t give the memory to Mother nor tosses aside. She is considering keeping the core memory but she thinks there is one better. No, she _feels_ there is one core memory better than this, and she looks for it inside the backpack that is magical, it seems, since it has an infinite size to fit everything she desires.

And Lena finds it. The day Josh Hanson brought a gun to a homecoming dance. This core memory has the same colors as the other one — red and yellow. However, this one holds more meaning than the past one. She hands the ball to Mother.

Then, she takes the next core memory.

—

Kara was growing hopeless and restless. Without her glasses on, she didn’t have something she could use to dispel her anxiety by fidgeting with it. She tried to remain calm when the readings on Lena’s brain activity went back to normal; as normal as the brain’s function of someone in a coma could be, that is.

Brainy made her eat something although she wasn’t hungry. He persuaded her by softly threatening to call Alex to make her eat and because Kara didn’t want to involve another person in this, she ate. The food didn’t sit well in her stomach and that was on her anxiety. But how could she not feel nervous when her best friend was so irresponsive? How Kara could think of food when there was nothing she could do to help Lena?

Everyone kept her away from the med bay after a few hours had gone by. She wasn’t helping the doctors anymore, only getting on their nerves, according to Brainy. He kept saying Kara needed to remain calm.

After some time, she was less jittery, yes, but not completely calm. Relief would only come and wash over her when Lena wakes up. Which could be never.

The loud beeping telling something off with Lena reaches her super-hearing and it only takes Kara seconds to be back at the med bay, leaving Brainy’s office in a dash. In the med bay, she sees the doctors walking around to search for things that can normalize Lena’s brain activity before something bad may happen to her.

Kara notices Lena’s eyelids moving fast and at a scared rate, displaying a high brain activity. Taken by her own nervousness, the blonde misses the way Lena holds the ball in her hand; the grip is stronger before loosening up. However, the woman listens to the alien device falling to the ground. She doesn’t look because Lena lets go of the ball the same time she opens her eyes, and Kara wanted to see her friend opening her eyes.

When she looks at the raven-haired woman in her eyes, she senses something is off, different. Not exactly amiss but definitely different, yes. Lena’s eyes are greener and shinier. When their eyes meet, Kara feels something inside her twisting in the most delightful way but she doesn’t know what it is.

(Scratch that — she doesn’t want to _acknowledge_ what it is.)

“I thought I’ve--”

Lena cuts her off.

“But you didn’t it.”

She is smiling although there is a hint of wavering when Lena bits her lower lip and presses them together as if she is thinking of what to say.

“What--”

Brainy appears, cutting Kara off.

“Lena!” He says relieved and happy. Kara sees he is struggling with his instincts. It’s quite adorable to see the man raising his hand for Lena to high five him, knowing part of him wants to pull the woman for a hug. Kara wants to hug her friend, too but what she keeps seeing in Lena’s eyes makes her second-guess herself.

“Oh, I am so glad that you are finally awake,” he states cheerfully. The blonde knew that Brainy and Lena were friends on some level but she didn’t think that the man cared so deeply and truthfully for Lena. “After you rest, you will tell us what happened to you, won’t you?”

She hears a sound that she hasn’t heard in months — Lena’s laugh.

“I’d tell you now but I need to go,” as she tells them this, she gets up from the bed. Kara furrows her brow and puts herself in Lena’s path.

“You can’t, you just, you can’t because you just woke up and we, they, um, the doctors need to scan your brain to--”

When Lena touches her arm reassuringly, a shiver starting in her spine spreads quickly to her body leaving her jittery.

“I am fine, Kar--” Lena clears her throat, “Supergirl. We will talk about what happened but not now, not today, okay? I have more pressing things to do. I…” Kara tilts her head when Lena seems to be carefully picking what to say. It makes the blonde want to say _I know. I’ve figured it out and it’s okay. I’m not mad, just surprised_ but she only waits for what Lena will say. “I have to take care of some personal business. But tomorrow I will be here.”

Kara hears a tinge of sadness and guilt in Lena’s voice, so she nods fiercely and smiles even if her smile is a bit tight and doesn’t reach her eyes.

The soft squeeze Lena gives in her arm is what she didn’t know she needs — a sign that they will be just fine no matter what changes between them. Kara is scared, yes, because it is written all over Lena’s features that something has changed within her; that whatever happened while she was in a coma, brought a change of heart for her. The blonde doesn’t know what this change means for them as friends and that is the scary part. However, she is also hopeful because there is a new glint in her friend’s eyes and that seems like a good thing.

Lena leaves after squeezing Brainy’s shoulders. On her way out, the woman sees J’onn and talks briefly with him but Kara decides to mind her own business instead of hearing their conversation.

—

Resting after an eventful day isn’t that simple, not after everything Lena has seen while inside her own mind. She should be sleeping, and she is lying on her bed looking at her bedroom ceiling, but all the woman could think about was all the memories she had taken out from its boxes. She remembered the hurt and the pain of losing her mom, the happiness she felt while riding a horse for the first time, and the confusion that embraced her the first time Lionel was mean to her.

Choosing core memories to build the woman she wanted to be now wasn’t easy. Lena had to see the moments where she really gave in to the dark side — when she inserted Hope on Eve’s body without her consent. She didn’t have her most important island at that time; the Humanity Island that was made from a memory with Kara and that she lost because of Kara.

Every problematic thing she has done the past year she did because all of her Island of Personality were down and that happened the moment Lex told Kara was Supergirl. Shooting her brother after choosing Kara’s safety over her wish to spare Lex only to find out her choice was based on a lie triggered something inside her brain, made all of her personality islands shut down. That explained things although it could never truly justify her actions, and Lena knows that.

She knows her actions have consequences and she has to deal with the aftermath. Some people might never trust her again for all she has done in the past year. For some people, all the good she made in the past was erased because of all questionable things she has done, and Lena has to learn to live with that; with the knowledge that some people may never forgive her for her wrongdoings even if they learn that her actions came from a place of hurt and emptiness.

Thinking on that, Lena sits on her bed and grabs a notebook she keeps in the drawer of her nightstand and a pen, and starts to write something. She doesn’t address to somebody specific; she simply pours her feelings into the words that flow naturally on the blank notebook page. Lena knows she is writing an apology letter but she only notices to who she is writing the moment she adds a specific detail only the person would know.

Suddenly it’s 3 am and she has finished the last letter, having written one for Sam because she wanted to apologize for being dismissive but she also wanted to thank the woman for showing her what is like to have a family, one for Brainy for never judging her even when Kara did, one for Andrea because regardless of how their friendship came to an end, they had a nice story and Lena was reminded of how important Andrea Rojas was to her, one for Ruby simply saying _thank you for choosing me as your aunt_ , one for Alex with _sorry for everything_ written and one for Kara that was by far the longest one. She wrote a letter to herself as well; it was the first letter, actually.

Lena needed to forgive herself in order to forgive and apologize to others. By writing everything she has done, explaining, and justifying herself, she was able to unpack some memories that she had stored in boxes she swore to herself she would never open again. She owed that to herself especially after her little trip to her mind.

She got to meet her emotions, she learned who control things most of the time — Fear — and who was second in command — Sadness — and although that could take a time to change, she got a better hold of who she was and that helped her to define who she wanted to be.

After that exhausting yet necessary writing, she finally gave in to sleep. The next day on the way to work, she mails these letters not knowing what to expect. She is nervous but she also feels lighter.

—

Kara didn’t think training Ruby with Nia’s help would turn out to be so much fun. Truth is she didn’t think she would actually miss that much the training sessions with the teen especially because they didn’t train for two weeks.

Two weeks of her watching Dreamer, Martian Manhunter, and Acrata helping civilians when the authorities couldn’t do their jobs alone or when their workforce wasn’t enough. Kara was extremely proud of the hero Nia has become but she missed being out there, flying through clouds to get to the place where people that needed her were.

At the same time, it was good to be away for a few weeks. People were actually missing Supergirl and some were understanding of what has happened to her. The DEO PR department said to her that she could go back out there sooner rather than later as things were looking up to her.

Two weeks ago she didn’t know the DEO had a PR department but now she spends some of her time with someone who gives her some actually great tips about the image she needs and wants to project to the people.

“I missed training with you!” Ruby states excited after their training session ended. “I can’t wait to be old enough to be a hero like you guys,” she looks at Nia, who is dressed like Dreamer. “By the way, your powers are so cool!” Nia smiles nervously at that not knowing how to respond. They never had to deal with superpowered teenagers before so it’s new for everyone. But Kara sees Nia’s eagerness to be a good example to Ruby so, maybe one day she will let her former mentee conduct a training session.

They get to the main room when Lena is already there waiting to pick up Ruby as she has done all this time. Seeing the woman today feels different.

“Hi, there,” Lena says waving at the trio not counting on Ruby sprinting towards her to embrace her in a tight hug. Kara can hear Lena grunting from where she is. It’s endearing to watch the girl lifting the woman off the ground a little like Lena weighed nothing.

“Mom says you are going home tonight to diner with us. You can’t say no,” watching the two of them interact makes Kara’s heart flutters. Realizing Lena was never truly alone, just stuck with the wrong people warms her but also makes her feel guilty. She should have fought harder for her friend; she should have known things wouldn’t be normal just because she told Lena her secret after almost four years hiding things from the woman.

Now she knows that. It is still hurt, Kara sees it and feels it, but there is also hope. To think she let go of Lena on the day Leviathan was defeated without knowing she could never really give up on the woman.

She could try; in fact, she had tried but in the end, there will always be something in Lena that calls for Kara as if they were…

_No, don’t. You are barely friends now. Just stop that_ , she thinks to herself, shaking her head in an empty attempt to make this thought go away. By doing that, she missed Lena walking to her after saying to Ruby that she has a meeting with Director Dox so they will leave late.

Kara is brought back to this reality when she sees Lena standing a few steps close to her. Not near enough like they were in that school dance or when Kara was under the effect of that red energy, however, near enough to make her catch her breath.

“Can we… can we talk? Not now or… tomorrow, but can we talk someday? I… I have to, no, I need… I…” She has seen Lena nervous and fidgety but not like this. “Actually I _want_ to--” her heart beats faster by listening to Lena saying in such a determined voice that she wants to talk to Kara but the moment is broken by a wild blur flying through the balcony and hitting them with full force.

Kara is almost too slow to put herself between whatever has erratically entered the DEO and Lena but there she is, sitting on Lena’s lap, hearing the woman cursing like a sailor, while Kara is holding a teenager girl by her shoulders.

The teen beams at her and it is _so_ disturbing to Kara because this girl looks a lot like her except for her eyes that shine in a nice shade of gentle greens that makes her think about Lena’s sweet yet piercing green eyes. She frowns and the girl does the same but her smile doesn’t falter, not even for a split second.

“Hi, there!” Kara blinks, a bit confused. All of sudden she feels anxious for this teenage girl resembles her so much but the bits of her features that don’t look like Kara looks like…

“Who the hell are you?!” Lena asks at the same time she removes Kara from her lap. She is gaping, her heart is racing. Whoever this girl is, she has a striking resemblance with Kara _and_ Lena, like she is, you know, a _mix_ of them. Kara swallows hard not wanting to think about this possibility even though the girl, whose hair is less blonde than Kara’s, has flown into the DEO.

“Oh, right!” The girl gets up, adjusts her hair, and then offers her hand to help them to get up. Kara doesn’t accept but soon regrets when she sees the sadness in the teen’s face. Lena, however, accepts the young blonde help and that seems enough to make her smile brightly and confidently again. “I’m Connie! Connie Danvers!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. A cliffhanger. (: Btw, updating will take extra long this time because I want to write something special + Ray of Light series, besides, I will outline better so things about this work. Anyway, be nice when commenting on someone's work! (: Feel free to send me messages and asks on my Tumblr (https://liapetros.tumblr.com/) where I have to one-shots that I didn't post here!
> 
> Stay home and stay safe. <3


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